Beautiful but cold
by riskakiss
Summary: Juri never had the freedom to do what she wanted with her life. Her family was strict and she had to live pleasing her father. But one night she meets this mysterious man whom she cannot forget. Who is this man and why does he make her blood boil like that?
1. Chapter 1

1

It happened two weeks ago. I was walking in the park in the middle of the night when I saw a child. He wasn't older than 12 and it was unusual for somebody of his age to be there so I stopped. Children aren't allowed to walk on the streets at that period of time. As I walked closer to him I saw a man some feet away from him. That child was not normal. His eyes were red and his mouth was covered with blood. Vampire… A level E vampire just made a big mistake. I decided to let that male vampire do his job. He was a vampire and it was his job to erase such beings. My heart was in so much pain at that moment. But even though he was a level E, he was a child... It was not his fault for being like this. People of my kind did it and let him wonder on the streets. The noble and pureblood vampires were ordered to kill any level E they happen to find or walk by. Though we are not allowed to transform humans in vampires we have no choice. Only human blood can keep us alive. Vampires can bite each other to feed but some prefer human blood. Only the blood of the loved ones will stop our hunger so until we find that certain person we need to look for other ways to feed.

The cold wind raised my skirt and long hair. Because of someone like me that child is about to be killed. My fists clenched with violence as I walked to him. I couldn't let that man kill him. I was weak because he was just a kid. It was a big mistake to take his part, I knew, but I had to. I jumped without thinking in front of the kid. This was the beginning of something big. The man kept his calm face. Despite the situation and my determination I was also calm. We looked into each other's eyes. His beautiful garnet eyes examined my face. My eyes were serious and cold. I decided not to hold back if he wishes to fight. I was hoping that we could talk but he didn't look the kind who would do that. _'First I will break the ground to catch him and if it fails then I will use_ _fire'_ , I thought. It was perfect. It should have worked but… I raised my left palm and the ground broke. Tch. He was already gone when the ground tried to swallow him. My eyes looked all over the place but he was nowhere. His scent was also gone. The only sound was made by the trembling leaves.

"I already know your next move," a low but somehow kind voice said from behind. I clenched my left fist and turned to punch the jerk. He put his palm in front of his face and caught my fist. I was surprised by his fast reflexes. The fact that he was so fast didn't matter to me. I consider myself a pretty fast vampire but the way he caught my punch like it was nothing made my skin shiver. Strands of my hair brushed his jaw and shoulder then fell around my tights. He gently closed his palm trapping my fist. His hand was cold but I didn't feel scared. Somehow I thought that I can trust this man. I knew nothing about him. He was just somebody I happened to meet because I wanted to protect a level E. Yet, he seemed so close to me.

"What do you mean that you know?" I asked bitterly.

He smiled kindly at me. My stomach suddenly knotted. Something was wrong with that man. I felt like he was superior in many ways and I must listen to him. If I don't then something bad might happen to me. I looked angrily at him. "Use fire…" he simply said and straightened his back. Being close like that to him I realized that I was barely reaching his shoulder. I looked up at him. How did he know that? The way I was back then made me no match for him. He released my fist and turned to face the kid.

"If you do something to him I won't forgive you," I growled. We didn't know each other, he didn't need my forgiveness yet, I said that. I really wanted to help the boy.

"It is our job to take care of such problems." The fact that he said problems made me angry. 'Those problems' are made by vampires like me. My stomach knotted again. I felt like wanting to throw up. The bangs hid my eyes. I felt ashamed by the situation. I should have never stepped there. Damn it! I turned with my back at them. My eyes didn't want to see what will happen next. I walked away. The child screamed before becoming ashes. It was over. He did his job perfectly while I tried to stop him. Why did I have to step there? I made a fool out of myself. I was angry so without thinking I took my right shoe off and strew it in the man's back.

"Just because you are a vampire that doesn't mean that you have no heart!" I screamed angrily. He turned with my shoe in his palm. "Idiot! If we meet again I won't think before attacking you."

I turned once again and walked away. He read my mind. That is why he knew exactly what to expect from me. It was low what he did but he won. That was the most important part.

"What about the shoe?" I heard him asking quietly. I humped and kept on walking.

Now, four weeks later, I feel very bad about what happened. I should have never run away without giving a proper punch.

"Kyaa! I know! His beautiful bangs that cover his forehead make him so sexy! Oh! I wish I knew him!" Saya screamed her heart out. Sigh… She, with other three girls, is looking at pictures with beautiful pureblood vampires. All vampires are beautiful so I don't think that there is one out of the ordinary. A drip of sweat traveled my forehead. Pureblood vampires only look at the same kind of women. It is normal to want to keep their purity. The problem is that there aren't too many such people. According to my father, besides me, him and my mother there are only 25 purebloods.

"Look Jury! Isn't he sexy?" she asked putting the picture in front of my eyes. I blinked surprised and broke myself from thoughts. "He is Kuran Haruka." In the picture was a beautiful male with dark brown hair and garnet colored eyes. He is indeed a beauty but that is not it. Somehow he…

My mouth parted and I rose from my chair pointing a finger at the picture. "This is the jerk that made me angry!" I shouted. That horrible man that read my thoughts to win the fight.

"This is the man you called an idiot?" she asked with a shaky voice. I nodded wildly. "Jury…you…" her face got blue.

"Have big problems," Himika finished. I looked puzzled at both of them. Why is that? The one with problems is the jerk. I am a pureblood. How dare he not listen to what I say! My words are everything. "He is not an elite vampire, he is a pureblood." My right eye slowly twitched. Um… "He may look like he is 20 but is actually 100 years old and you are only… 15…" she nodded slowly.

"That is not so much of a problem but…you know…" Saya gulped scared. "…He is a Kuran," she whispered covering her mouth.

Gulp! This isn't good at all. I just spoke as rudely as I could with the Kuran master. I…I…I had no idea that it could be someone of his level there! It is true that I should have looked carefully at him to establish if he is a pureblood or not but… Shit. Among all purebloods Kuran family is the most venerated and respected family. My face surely is blue right now. I feel the air getting cold. "What should I do? I will surely get killed!" I bit my lower lip as I swallowed harshly. This is more than bad.

Saya put her palm on my shoulder. "Don't think that way… You are also a pureblood."

"That is right. It is a taboo to kill or harm one like you. The council is protecting you guys very well," Himika agreed.

"Yeah but…" In the end I am not a Kuran. His name is one level higher than mine. I covered my face as I walked sheepishly on the hall. This cannot get worse. I should have never tried to help that level E. I am just too kind.

I licked my lips. I am the type to speak whatever I think without thinking. Probably I would have said the same words even if I knew his identity. Whenever I am angry I just scream out my problems. This is the kind of person I am. But he didn't say anything from the very beginning. He didn't look angry when I called him an idiot. He was more like amused by my straight character and even asked if I wanted my shoe back. But it is true that I felt that he was somehow superior to me. I felt it very well when his hand touched mine. My stomach knotted and I was somehow scared. The feeling was always there. I was the one who didn't know how to read it.

My feet stepped firmly on the woody floor. I am not scared of anything. Even if I was wrong with my language he cannot possible harm me. I must believe in who and what I am. The next time I will try to ignore the past and speak nicely with him. I pushed some strands of hair on my back and looked up. Today I promised myself that I will forget what happened then. Protecting a level E shouldn't be known by others. It is wrong to do something like that. They lose control because of the lust of blood and kill many innocent people. That is why we are feared. People don't know the differences between a level E and other vampires. Some are mean but most want to see a day when humans and vampires can live together. I am tired of their fear even if at some level they are right. We have blood tables but the taste is bad so many refuse to take them.

As I turned to left my nose hit something hard. For a second I could see some yellow stars. They were rolling around my head. A strong palm caught my shoulder and stopped my leaning to the ground. I covered my eyes and regained balance. That really hurt. I peeped from under my palm to my shoulder. This hand is so cold that I can feel myself turning into an ice stone. My shoulder is somehow getting numb; like the energy is being taken away. I blinked a couple of times then looked angrily up. "Look where you're going, baka!" Brown eyes met garnet ones. My heart skipped a loud and strong beat. For a second I could feel my feet getting weak. He searched my face then smiled warmly. Though his hand is this cold his smile is so bright and warm. I feel myself at peace. But I did it again. I closed my lips firmly. This is the second time I call the Kuran master an idiot. Although he is smiling I feel like he is still mad. There is no sign of madness in his eyes but still! He is 100 years old and a respected person. I bet that I am the first to call him an idiot.

"I am sorry," he said polite. "Did I hurt you?"

I am surprised by his kind voice and the level of respect he uses. It is like he doesn't listen to me at all. But maybe he just doesn't mind. I know nothing about him so I cannot just say whatever I think of him. I looked away. Damn, this pride of mine is killing me! "It is fine. I can survive after this." He kept on looking at me.

"Aaa. You are that lady who kicked me with her shoe and left." My stomach knotted. In a twinkle of an eye I looked at him. He is amused by the situation. I thought that he would kick me or something but he is fine. "This is kind of a coincidence but I have your shoe with me. I thought that maybe I can find you and give it back." My mouth dried. Why is he having it with him?

A man in black kneed in front of him. He opened the white box, revealing my blue shoe. The Kuran master took his hand away from my shoulder to grab the shoe. Though his hand was very cold my shoulder feels very lonely without it. With his palm over it I felt a lot warmer. He looked at the shoe and smiled playfully. "Take it."

My blood is boiling. I hitched the shoe from his hand and turned. "Thank you. With this I can kick you another time." I said proudly and faced him again. Damn…I just did it again. Will I ever learn? My eyes looked all over his chest and broad shoulders. He is well done. With a body like this I can pretty much guess that he is strong. "I…"

"Haruka-sama!" a man in black made a deep bow. I was cut off by his ignorance. A nerve of mine just twitched. "It is about time," he said with his head still down.

"Um." The Kuran master looked at me with a warm smile on his face. I somehow feel controlled by him. "I have to go."

This is not me at all. As I licked my lips I looked at him with cold eyes. "I don't really care if you go." I turned and walked in the direction I came from. This is the kind of person I am. Even though he is older and stronger in many ways I cannot control myself. I refuse to be lower than anyone . I will become the pureblood princess. This is my one and only dream. As long as I get stronger I have all the chances.

I looked over my shoulder one last time. He was with his back at me. Strands of hair were struggling in the air while he was speaking. Looking like this, at his back, I feel my heart beating very fast. There is the possibility that he heard it but I don't care. I only want to keep on watching that big back. It will be enough for me. I swallowed harshly as his sight disappeared in the darkness. I don't think that we will ever meet again. We don't have where to meet. I feel sad.


	2. Chapter 2

Somehow I managed to convince my father to let me attend a human high school. He was against before I had time to finish the sentence. With a firm answer he left me alone in the garden and went to do his job. But knowing my character I couldn't possible give up. Every night I would ask for permission and although the answer was always no, I never gave up. Mother didn't really care so she had nothing to say. That was a problem I had to solve with my father. But the real problem was him. Nothing could change his mind. He just wanted to keep his sweet and cute daughter in the house during the day time. Since I have no problems with the sun light and my mind doesn't go wild when I see a human I had confidence that I could make friends there. Since the day I was born and until today I never attacked a human. I found the blood tables useful and although the taste is bad I can endure. My family is a pacifist one so they believe that humans and vampire can live together. I was brought up that way so I have the same believes. My fangs are white and unspotted with blood of any kind. I never threatened a human and I have no intentions to do so.

Father didn't want to listen to me anymore so at some point he gave up on eating at home before leaving. But after many threatens of leaving home and find myself a human to live with he gave up. I am the only child that he and mum have so he cannot possible lose me. This year he enrolled me at an all-girls high school. After seeing that my father believed that things will go right, Saya father did the same. We are in the same class and things are great so far. We have a very sexy chemistry teacher and until now I didn't think about eating any of the girls. The sensei sure looks testy though.

As I walked down the hallway I noticed Saya staying on her knees and starring at some girls that were laughing in front of the stairs. Her eyes were red and she kept on licking her lips. A drip of sweat rested above my ear. She lost it again. In these six months since we have been here she lost herself 30 times. Luckily I was there to stop her. I grabbed her collar and pulled her after me. She fell on her rear but kept on starring at the girls. She is really something. There is nothing that can possible change her mind after she decides something. She is just like me. I knocked her off with a punch in the head then pulled her after me. I wanted to come here and have a nice and quiet time but she keeps me busy each and very day.

Father became proud of me. I am one of the few vampires that can walk, speak, eat and sleep with normal humans. Two months ago we went on a class trip. I was fine but Saya kept on crying that she wants to feed herself. I had a rough night back then. She was all over the room: on the bed, on the floor and even on the roof. I was so angry that I could have kicked her to death.

I pushed her in front of her chair. "Classes are over so I'm going home. It is early so just go home and sleep. Tomorrow we have no classes." I put the bag on my shoulder and looked at her. She doesn't look like she heard me. "Don't cause me any problems." With that I left the classroom and walked outside. A car is waiting for me to take me home. At the end of every week I feel weak, tired. It is unusual for me to wake up in the morning and sleep in the night. Though I say that I almost never sleep in the night. I sleep when I get home and learn in the night. After all I am a vampire. I cannot suddenly change everything about myself.

The driver closed the door after I sat. My view is puffy and my eyelashes are heavy. If I could I would close my eyes and fall in a deep sleep but I cannot let my guard down. Purebloods are hunted all the time. Their blood is precious for the power one can get if they drink it. Hunters are always watching us. Though neither I nor my parents do things that could make our names to be put on the black list we are still watched. I swallowed harshly. Because I never drink real blood I am always tired and my injuries head pretty hard. I lose very fast my energy and sometimes I cannot concentrate on other things. Blood is more than food for us. I took out of my pocket a pink little box and opened it. I always have with me blood tables. Sometimes during classes I need to take one to gain some energy. Before attending school I lived as a normal vampire. I used to take only three tables after each three mouths but now I take at least four per week. My metabolism is cracking slowly. My teeth broke one pill. The artificial blood taste is really bad but I can endure it. As long as I don't know the taste of real blood I am fine with this. I closed my eyes as I slowly let the taste of blood to give me some energy. I'm still sleepy but I don't expect the pills to make miracles. The car stopped in front of a big, white mansion. The driver opened the door. He was holding a black umbrella with which he protected me from the very strong sun. After next week summer break starts. I can hardly wait for it. The summer is really killing me. My body cannot take such high temperatures.

Two maids made a deep bow when I entered in the house. One took my bag while the other changed my shoes with house sleepers. The house is so quiet. Sheepishly I walked to my room where I didn't even wait to change my clothes and jumped in the bed. The black screen was pulled over the bright windows. It is so dark and chilly. I like being at home. My tired eyes closed and shortly after I feel in a deep sleep.

I was so excited to go to school. Until then I only had home classes with a vampire teacher. It was boring. I wanted to have friends with whom I could laugh and share feelings. Something like that was only a dream for me. Father kept me for 13 years in the house. I was alone most of the time. My mother is a famous shoe designer and travels most of the time. My father works as a senate member. He is also very busy. The maids were the ones who raised me. They played with me and watched me becoming the girl I am today. Two years ago I was officially presented as their daughter. The party was held at our house and many friends of my father came. People spoke with respect to me. Neither of them said something besides _'it is wonderful to know that there is a new pureblood'_ , _'a new royal vampire was born'_ or _'she might be the future pureblood princess'_. People said only those kind of things. A very close friend of my father came to speak with us. He knew about me but that was the first time we met. He was the first person to speak with me about something else. He told me that though this society is most of the time dark I shouldn't be sad. Things will go well for me. That was also the time when I first met Saya. She was his second child. Saya cut my pride when I first met her. She was a beauty that made me jealous for the very first time. Her gold like curly hair was brushing her white and thin shoulders. She had pink and voluptuous lips. Her green eyes made me feel so small and unimportant. Saya spoke formally with me in the beginning but as the night grew old she began to understand my character and so she was no longer afraid to tell her thoughts. Even today Saya looks like a goddess. I always feel plain around her. Saya began to speak freely about herself and things that she has done. Like that, after that night, we were best friends. Nothing could break us apart. But school didn't turn out to be something that I expected. Most of the classes were boring and many times I found myself too lazy to learn. Besides the chemistry I find most of the classes boring. For Akira sensei I can learn chemistry every second of my life. I wish we could be more than just student and teacher. I want to hold hands with him and go on dates; like normal couples do. It is true that we practically are more than just student and teacher. We are vampire and human. That is the biggest gape that can be between two people. Akira sensei has short raven black hair and purple eyes. He has an earring in his right ear. Sensei is what I call a sexy man. I wish I could get closer to him but I am scared that I might hurt him; scared that I might make him fear, hate me; scared that if the Senate finds out they will destroy him. I want to protect sensei.

If I could do something about what I truly am. I want to be a normal girl that can stay all day long under the warm sun. Humans are all the same. Not all of them are beautiful but they belong to the same kind unlike us, vampires. I wouldn't choose to be a beautiful actress or model. I will remain the way I am now: a plain, normal looking face. My eyelashes parted a little and I was able to see the black curtain. Even though I can resist under the sun I still feel weak after a while. My feet get numb and my mind starts to get black. I love the sun but it hates me. My throat is dry. It is time for me to close my eyes back.

In my class girls always speak about their dreams. They see themselves in strange places or together with a dream guy. I never had a dream. Vampires can only have premonitions when they sleep. Most of the time I see nothing. My senses are still awake so I can feel and hear everything. If I could dream I wish I was a human among humans because I know that it is only for some seconds. Even though there are many bad points about being a vampire I would never give up forever on it. I have great parents that even though they are not here I know how lovable and kind people they are. There are no parents like mine. I also have a dream: I want to become the future pureblood princess. I licked my tired lips and swallowed. Yeah… For the eternal life I have and for my parents I would choose to always be a vampire.

My mind went black as I fell asleep. On the hallway I heard steps. Probably my father and mother are up and ready for a new night. The main door closed with power as they left the house. It is again quiet. I feel alone, sad.

The door of my room opened silently and somebody stepped inside. I scratched my neck as I covered my head with a pillow. The sound of the curtains being pulled aside made me shiver. "Please wake up, Jury-sama," a sweet voice said.

"Hmmm…" I rubbed my eyes. The moon is full and beautiful. "Time?" I asked on a husky voice.

"It is already seven o'clock. Master just called and asked for you to bring him some papers."

"Aham!" I cleared my voice as I got on my rear. My mouth is dry. I slept so well. My head no longer hurts and my mind is finally clear. After five days of walking only under the sun I was really weak. With time I will get more and more used to it but until then it will be painful. "What papers?"

"I don't know. He said that they are on his bed."

"Tch!" If they are on his bed why didn't he bring them with him? I just woke up and have no intentions in moving outside the bed.

"What would you like to eat?" she asked politely while picking a pillow from the floor.

I looked on the window. The night is so beautiful. Maybe I can go on a walk. "Only coffee is fine," I said and got down from the comfortable and warm bed. The maid made the bed then left the room to bring me my coffee. There are so many stars on the sky. It would be nice to touch one. I wander if it would feel cold.

The window broke open and I sat on the ledge. The smell of blood is strong. Somebody either got bitten either got a very nasty wound. It is probably the latter. Nobody gets near this place. It belongs to my family entirely. Even though neighbors don't know their houses are built on our land. The whole place within a radius of 45 kilometers is ours. It is true that most of it is outside the city but we get money for the roads we allowed them to build on our territory. The money that residents pay to the state come to us entirely. This is how vampires get rich.

This place is just too beautiful. Since I was young I loved blue roses. They don't grow up naturally with that color which is a shame. Father made sure that under my window is a big bush with blue roses, specially painted for me. Though I cannot touch them I still love seeing them. That beautiful color that shines in the moonlight. That is the moment when I live a dream.

I walked to the dresser and opened the light. It is my first time going to the Senate. Until now father kept me away from them. Though the law protects me it is never known what it could happen. Now, my power can be felt so vampires know that they should keep distance. A wrong move and they hearts are out. I am a very kind person but I get angry fast. My way of punishment is painful and the death is certified. I became quite famous for my powers and I am feared. Only Saya and Himika address me directly.

I put on a vaporous white mini skirt and a purple shirt without sleeves made from silk. While I drank my coffee the maid made my hair: brushed and caught in a perfect ponytail. At my neck she put a white pearl necklace. I smiled at the nice looking girl from the mirror. With a long, cream coat and a pair of white shoes I was gone. The papers were on my tights while the car took me to the Senate. I somehow feel nervous. This is the first time I am going there. How should I act? Should I walk carefree or indifferent? People will greet me for sure. Should I answer them? Argh! There are so many questions! Even if I make a scenario right now I will more likely do on the opposite. I have this bad habitude to do things like this. Even since I was small.

The driver opened the door and I stepped down. The Senate is in the middle of the forest. It is a very big building built in a Romanic style. There are little windows but they are long. Enough light should enter through them. My shoes took me to the entrance. I stopped there and looked inside. There aren't too many people here. I should be fine. After my moment of hesitation I stepped inside. A strange feeling put a hold on me. This is like the party my father held. That was the very first time I was in the same place and room with so many purebloods and aristocrats. They are strong and my body is a little weak and unused with so much presence. It is not strange that here are many pure vampires.

I took my coat off and walked with confidence in the building. As soon as I made three stapes inside I felt lots of eyes following me around. They already know that I am here. I am used to being watched but the gaze is so strong here. Maybe I shouldn't have come. I feel uncomfortable. The vampires that were near me made deep bows. Their eyes were looking only down. Gulp! This is so strange. Really!

This place is pretty big. The walls are tall and of an impeccable white. It is my first time coming to such an interesting place. I smiled. I spent 13 years in my house without knowing that even buildings can be beautiful, interesting. My mother bought me many books but all of them were with sunsets, mountains, beaches and people. This is actually my first time seeing something so different from a normal house or a school building. Father never let me go too far away from the house. Most of the time I had guards to look after me. I somehow feel unable to take care of myself.

My feet stopped in front of the receptionists. They startled as they saw me and made one step behind the desk to make deep bows. I wanted to smile to them but in the end I couldn't. I like being respected but with moderation. Some people exaggerate a lot. Being treated like that made me feel really superior and that prevented me from being polite. Many times I found speaking with respect as being difficult. Damn! "I want to know where the office of …" They nodded and smiled warmly at me. But I cannot be fooled like this. Their smiles are faked. My eyes know the differences between true and false.

After they told me I simply walked away without saying anything. I feel disgusted by such people. I walked in the center of the room and looked after a corridor with brown walls. Being here makes me realize that this place is like a labyrinth. There are at least seven narrow corridors. Each of them has different colors. This place is really cool. I faced the way to the brown corridor. I took one step then stopped. "Something is coming…" I looked at the floor. This feeling tells me that it isn't my imagination. Though it is only a little the earth is shaking. I raised an eyebrow. What is this?

In the ground appeared many holes. The current raised my hair in a semicircle around my elbows. My eyes went big at the sight of hands getting out of the holes. The coat fell on the ground together with the papers. At least 100 level E stepped on the floor. But I can still feel many more coming from the holes. I took one step back and raised my left palm. This is no joke. I am overwhelmed by level E. Although they are weak the number is kind of scary.

They are quiet. Neither of them is moving. Somebody from here is their master. It can only be a pureblood. They simply looked around as if they were also impressed by the building. They began to move. They turned their heads and found me there, alone. Hmp! Like some creatures of their level can actually catch me. They groaned and ran in my direction with their long nails as weapons. "Ha! You are underestimating me," I said calmly. For a second I closed my eyes. Wind became my shield. I opened my red eyes. Recently I found out that I can control the wind. Even if it is not for too long I can erase some of these monsters. They began to jump at me from every direction: front, lateral and back. My left arm rested near my tights. The former humans become ashes as they tried to touch me. I smiled. Even if it is wind I wouldn't underestimate it. It can cut very well walls. A body is nothing. Another four jumped to get me but in a second they became history. This is going nowhere. There are too many of them and I will eventually grow tired. Why are they attacking the Senate? Here are only strong people that can make them all vanish in one minute. Nobody would make such a mistake as sending them here. This will only erase the army.

Wrong… Maybe he wants to do this. Maybe this is a diversion for something. Something big is going on or is about to happen in this building. Something bigger than this. I will stop them first and see after. Though I say that… Three drips of sweat travelled the back of my head. I am the only one fighting. Where are the others? No… Where are the guards?

"Sigh…" I am starting to lose control over the wind. It is fine. I waved my arm from one shoulder to the opposite tight. Wind erupted all over the ground making it shine. There are no longer level E here. I should better hurry.

When I tried to bow to grab my things from the holes more level E jumped. Something is down stairs; like a secret passage or something. There might be no end to this. I tilted my head on the back, raising both hands at the same time. The roof broke in many small rocks. They fell heavily on the enemies. But this kind of took some energy and now I feel really tired.

I turned surprised my head. The wall from behind me is starting to crumble. A mischievous smile appeared on my lips. "There is no end to this." Sigh… I took a deep breath. The wall fell entirely. "Why don't you just learn your place?" I asked with annoyance.

As I prepared myself for the next move the room became cold. I stopped too, feeling a little bit scared. It is like something is freezing the place. I can clearly see my breath. My stomach knotted. This feeling is…I…felt it before. My skin knows so well this feeling. It is terrifying. Where? From where do I know this? A power that overwhelms mine. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate. I need to move…. There is no point in trying to think about anything. I just cannot move.

A strong step hit the ground and every level E in the room became ashes. After that, nothing came inside the building. Every life that was here vanished because of a single step. Am I…terrified? I feel uneasy but I don't think that I am terrified. No… I really don't know what to think. My mind is black. This somehow happened before, long ago. Not that long…Yeah… Last year I think that I felt this. My eyelashes parted. Footsteps are getting close to me. Ah… I regained power over my body. I am starting to remember something.

"Are you hurt?" a manly but kind voice asked.

With slow movements I turned to face the strong presence. No wander it feels so nostalgic. It has been a year since the last time I saw the Kuran master. I am starting to feel confident again. Whenever I see him I feel secure and unsecure at the same time. I should start getting used to his presence. Maybe we will meet again. I don't want to freeze all the time. "You stepped on my scene," I said emotionless.

He gave me one of his bright smiles. He just never gets angry. Well this is only the third time we meet so I cannot simply conclude that… His power is so great that his simple presence is enough to send shivers into my spine. But when I see his garnet eyes or bright smile I can calm down. It is strange that I can even feel safe.

"I'm sorry."

Idiot! Don't apologize. I am the mean one here. You saved me even though I speak rudely to you. This only shows that you are a kind person even though you are this strong. After this I think that I got to know so many things about you. You are strong but you don't make abuse of your name, power or influences. If I open my mouth now I will only say mean things. I don't want to hurt him in any way.

He got on his knee to take my coat and papers. I watched carefully how his long fingers grabbed my things. Looking at him from up here I think that I can find him kind of attractive. The Kuran master got up with my things and approached me. I looked at his hands then at his face. Last year I could barely reach his shoulders but now my forehead can touch his lips.

"Can you tell me your name?" he asked politely.

I looked back at my belongings. "…Jury," I said and took the papers. Now that I think about it: where is my father? He knew that I should be here but he didn't come to help me. Maybe he had things to take care of. I slowly licked my lips.

"Your name sure was well chosen." I blinked surprised at his words. As I looked up he unfolded my coat. With fast movements he put it over my shoulders.

"You are not going to present yourself?" I raised an eyebrow. I know who you are but I just cannot keep my bad mouth shut.

"I am Kuran Haruka. One of the purebloods."

"Yeah… I'm the same."

"I know. I sensed you."

"What is going on?" I finally asked. I am so curious about the situation.

"It is over now. I will do the rest so go find your father."

"Don't order me around! Just because you are a Kuran that doesn't mean that you are better!"


	3. Chapter 3

_'_ _Don't order me around! Just because you are a Kuran that doesn't mean that you are better!'_ Back then I lost myself again. It was a big mistake to treat him like that, I knew that, I know that but I just couldn't keep it inside. Initially I wanted to thank him for helping me out but it didn't go according to the plan. Even after saying that he kept on smiling at me and showed me the way to others. I walked patiently behind him until we got outside the Senate. In the backyard were so many vampires speaking like nothing just happened or like it was something usual. The master showed me where father was then left by waiving his hand. He said that maybe we meet again. I stayed there, watching his sight disappearing through the crowd. Then I realized that it was already summer and the coat was too thick. That, or my body was really hot. My father was surprised to see me there. He didn't expect me to really come and bring his papers. I somehow felt hurt. This only showed me that my character lets the impression of a very cold and untrusting person. At this point I am wondering if even Saya thinks the same about me. But…what I really want to know is how sensei sees me. In his eyes do I look like that as well?

After that I was most of the time quiet. If I speak less then things go well. Surely I was hurt deep inside my heart. Maybe I should change. Until now I only lost things that were important to me. Always saying that tomorrow I will for sure change; only that spared me. I never changed the way I wanted to. I remained the same person. Father says that I act exactly like his mother. I never met her since she died after a fight with a vampire hunter 200 years ago. She had a strong character and will. Is my will strong? _Of course it isn't. Look at yourself._ She went mad after a fight with her husband and left the house. For two weeks she kept on drinking human blood until one day the vampire association had enough. They caught her and shot her. Grandpa died shortly after that. It is unclear how or why he died. Father never speaks about it. He doesn't seem to be hurt but he just refuses. Maybe there is a secret that I and nobody else should know. Anyway, around that time the rule in which one cannot harm a pureblood was made. I don't want to be like grandma. If I lose my mind like that and then be killed then I really want to change.

Outside began to snow again. Pure, white and cold snow that covers the ugliness of my bloody world. It is beautiful to watch it from the window. Those small pearls that roll down to the frozen earth. Beautiful…but I don't want to touch it. Yuki… Yuki is heartless. It kills everything that has life and then covers it. The ground becomes the crime scene and everyone steps over it. I like this. It is kind of macabre though. I am a vampire who wishes to be born as a human only to walk under the sun. It is unusual for someone of my kind to think that way. But now that I think better it is fine that I am a vampire. Like this I can see the white snow becoming red. I smirked.

A pair of black socks covered my legs and knees. The black shorts barely cover half of my tights. Over the white t-shirt I put a coat and looked one more time in the mirror before feeling satisfied with my clothes. A maid carefully folded a muffler around my neck. With a last look in the mirror I left the house with unknown direction. The cold wind immediately froze my bare tights and chest. I feel life like this. I looked up, letting the snow touch my cheeks. "It is cold…"

I want to know what really happened five months ago. Father did not want to answer my question and told me to forget but I can't do that. Those level E came from somewhere near the Senate and someone that works there controlled them. I know that but I need to confirm it. The best way is to walk there and let my senses do their job. I won't take a driver with me. He will suspect something since I shouldn't have any kind of business there. I want to be alone and concentrate. Since then I keep on being curious about it. It is not like I need to know but I feel like wanting too. If I happen to find the bastard who did it I will probably have to fight him and this thrills me. He will be more likely a pureblood. I am not scared. Only that man can scare me. Which remind me that….we haven't met since that incident. It seems like we meet only when something bed is about to happen. Is it destiny or just coincidence? _Maybe attraction?_ Maybe, I don't know. I don't even care. There are better things to think about.

The pure snow is covering my brown hair. It starts to get white. When I think about white hair that woman's face appears in front of my eyes. I hate her. She is strong, beautiful and respected in the society. Her name is so well known compared to mine. Near her I am a small bug that must be crushed. I hate her. Hio Shizuka… Thanks to her great powers she is considered as being a pureblood princess. It pisses me off. The pureblood princess will be me. I refuse to lose in front of her. If I cannot be the princess then I have no meaning in life. The snow became water under my feet.

I stopped in front of the forest. Not far away from here is the Senate. I need to feel, hear and smell whatever I can. He or they won't make a mistake as letting the smell of blood wander around. It would be easy to found if that were the case. I entered in the forest. As I walked further the road disappeared together with the presence of the Senate. My senses tell me to walk this way. I noticed that the snow has feet steps printed on it. Someone walked here not so long ago. The falling snow didn't have time to cover it yet. If I try harder I think that I can feel a vague presence.

I took my hands out of pockets to push a branch from my way. There is a scar on it. I am on the right path. There is no life around here. It is strange. This is a forest in which rabbits, squirrels and deer should live yet, there is not even one. Something scared them away or killed them. It is no wander though. In the air is a very disgusting feeling. I feel sick in my stomach as I walk further. I am getting near something.

I rested my palm on a tree. In front of me is a very small and poorly made cottage. Black aura is floating around it. This place must hold the answer to my question. A smile appeared on my face. I have to admit that I am surprised. After so many mouths they didn't change the place. Someone could have caught them long ago. The senate people are strong and very sensitive and they might feel something. But I guess that this surprises me even more. They have an enemy this close yet nobody seems to know. It is kind of strange. I looked carefully through the woody door with my red eyes. Nobody seems to be inside. I can approach it with no worries. But it really is empty. The smell is getting stronger as I get closer. How can it be a smell and dark aura in an empty place? Carefully I stepped over the broken stairs. My eyes regained their brown color. There is nothing that could harm me. I stopped in front of the door and felt carefully the air. Nothing is here. I tried to reach the door with my left palm. A very cold hand with long fingers caught four of my fingers. I kept on looking at the door.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked emotionless.

"I felt your presence in the forest so I thought that you might come here." I closed my eyes for a second then looked at him. The Kuran master was like always smiling kindly at me. "Why are you here?" His voice is warming me up in this freezing wind. His presence is divine in this white yet dark snow.

"Business." My answer is simple and short. It has nothing to do with him.

Somehow…I am glad to see him. It has been so long since the last time we met. I was thinking of even asking father to give me something to do at the Senate just to see him. It is hard to say why I feel like this but I do. I know that it is wrong but I cannot control it. My eyes studied him. He didn't change one bit.

"I thought so. After that accident you kept on looking deep into the forest."

He kept on watching me even after we parted? Though my face is emotionless I feel happy. I hate myself for the feeling that is floating through my blood. Please don't notice. Stop looking so intensively at me. "You knew about this place?"

"Of course I did. How could I not know? I was just waiting for their next move but it seems like you are in a hurry to know faster." It was a joke, I know, but I still want to open my mouth and say something rude to him.

"It is not my fault that you are scared to take action," I struggled my shoulders as I took one step back from the door. If only I could stop my bad mouth. If only… He kept on looking at me with kind eyes. I feel like the bad guy. It is wrong to think that I am not after all the things I said until now. Our forth meeting is like the others. I say whatever I think and he only smiles back. He never said anything about the way I am acting towards him. Haruka-sama, you really are a kind person. I should be punished for everything I said or did until now.

"Then will you come with me? I need support down there."

"Down?" I asked surprised.

"You will see." He stepped in front of me and opened the door without making a sound. The wood didn't shake at all. With such movements the enemy won't even know that we are here as long as we hide our presence. He entered pulling me after him. Our hands are still holding. No…it is more like he is holding my hand. We took some steps inside. The room is completely empty but on the ground is a square hole with steps inside. "They thought very well about how to hide things," he whispered. His voice made my heart skip a beat. It sounded so damn good in my ears.

"I couldn't tell," I whispered back. My voice sounds so strange. It is husky because of the cold. "But the smell is enough to give them away."

"Not really. People from there don't even bother with such things." He stepped over the level pulling me after him. We both climbed down in silence.

"I understand now." That is why they are so safe here. Vampires or hunters have no right to get near this forest if they are not part of the Senate. They should be idiots to attack a place where only strong vampires work. And since the Senate people don't care of what happens around them they do whatever they want here. "The bad guy is part of the Senate, right?"

"Um."

The smell is getting stronger and stronger but the steps never end. This place is so cold and dark. But unlike my room I don't feel alone here. Haruka-sama is right in front of me, holding my fingers gently. There is nothing to be scared of. I don't have to do anything I only…have to stay like this: quiet and by his side. Nothing will harm me if I stay close. I looked at his shaky hair. Why do I think about being protected? Until a while ago I was feeling proud of my powers and remembered my dream of being the pureblood princess. I shouldn't be thinking about being protected. If I have power then I can surpass Hio Shizuka. This is the only thing I should be thinking of.

My foot slipped over the edge of the stair. I opened my mouth to scream. My back will hit the stairs! I closed tight my eyes as I was prepared to shout out. My left arm straightened and my fall stopped. I was only some centimeters away from the stairs. Gulp. Slowly I opened my eyes and saw the master keeping tight my fingers. He slowly let me sit over the step. I looked at me knees. Thinking about other things made me show something this embarrassing to him. Whenever I think about that woman I lose control over things. She is the reason I so hate the vampire world. Why aren't I the vampire princess? "I almost screamed…"

"Let's not announce others that we are here." If I were to look at his face right now I would probably see a big smile. I don't what to see it. It will only make me feel worse. I slowly nodded and got up. He didn't help me although he was holding my fingers. I did it with my own power.

I closed my eyes. Sigh. He isn't looking down on me. Haruka-sama knows that I have the power to get up. I am really happy. Usually purebloods tend to make fun of anyone; even if that person is also a pureblood. He really deserves my respect.

We once again began to walk. "These stairs have no end. It is like…hell," I whispered calmly. This path is like one from hell. I see no end. As if somebody punished us to climb down forever. What if there really is no end? What if this is the punishment I was asking for? But why did they have to also punish someone like him? My eyes looked from his trembling hair to his white and strong neck. I want…

"We are here," he said. I blinked. One second ago what was I…? He looked from the corner of the wall on the hallway. "There are four guards."

"I will take care of them." He searched my eyes. "You are underestimating me. I may look like this but I am not weak." I made space for myself between the wall and him. Only for a little longer I want to hold his hand. Wind… I thought about the element that time helped me control so well. My left arm is busy with his so I will try using the right one. I stepped in front of them and watched their unawareness. Though I am right here they still do not see me. Their heads are full with other things. Idiots… Why don't you just die? A strong flow of wind brushed them off.

"You are getting scarier and scarier," he said walking ahead me.

I looked at his back. "Was it a compliment?" I asked skeptical. He nodded slowly. Why do you always have to say such sweet and nice words? He stopped in front of the door. After making another step I did the same. We looked at the hard metal door. Right in front of my eyes it began to melt. I slowly parted my lips as the door became something like magma. "You are the one getting scarier." I whispered as the door completely dissolved. Every time we meet you always do something new. Just how great is your full power?

In front of us appeared a very big room filled with computers. The master was the first to step inside, pulling me after him. The flour is made from blue glass. They really did their best to make the room look so incredible.

"What a surprise," a black haired man clapped as he approached us. "It is an honor to see you again Haruka-sama." He smirked at him then looked at me. "And this must be daughter of Yahiko-sama: Juri-sama. It is indeed an interesting pair standing in front of me," he nodded while smiling. This guy is having a good time in such a situation.

I don't recall meeting him before. I am pretty sure that I met most of the pureblood vampires but he is somebody new. Well, there is the older brother of Haruka-sama that I've never met and have no intentions. It was a pure coincidence that I met Haruka himself.

"You really like games," Haruka said bitterly. The man smiled wider. I looked surprised at Haruka. His voice is so low. I never heard him speaking like this. The aura around him is no longer warm but cold. I used to be afraid of him but now although my skin is shivering a little I am fine. He is no longer scary. I know him, trust him. Haruka-sama is one of the few people that I trust. "Let's put an end to it."

"I understand your feelings but you cannot just kill him," I finally said. My eyes never left that man's sight. If I take my eyes away I am scared that he will do something bad to Haruka-sama.

"I accept your feelings, little girl. Whenever a woman cares for me I respond to their feelings by drink their blood," the vampire grinned.

'Feelings'? He is fooling around with me but I cannot lose it. The law says that we cannot harm or kill a pureblood. Even if we are purebloods I don't think that we can step over the rule. He gives me a creepy feeling but it doesn't compare to the one the master gives. He is a pure vampire but I feel like I can get him with only one hit. But then again: there is the law. I bit my lower lip to keep my voice shut.

"Don't think too high of yourself," Haruka raised his right arm at him. He is going to hit him.

The ground shook a little. I looked at my feet then back to the black haired man. Behind him gathered lots of level E. "Wha…" Where did they come from? One second ago I didn't feel their presences. Two men jumped in my direction. I frowned and tried to reach up with my left hand but stopped. I cannot do it. That hand is being held by Haruka-sama. My eyes got red as I turned the level E in ashes with the power of my mind. That was close. I almost got hurt. Haruka hit the ground with his foot and every level E disappeared, becoming ashes. The atmosphere is colder. The two men kept on looking in each other's eyes. Something big is about to happen. After thinking about it the man threw with the power of mind a big rock from the wall. Haruka tried to stop it with his left hand but remembered that he was holding me so he used the other one. The fight already started.

Only for a little longer I want to keep on holding hands. If we part now there won't be a second time. I will never feel his touch again. Even if it is for a little longer I want to keep him here, close to me. I know that right now he is trying to fight the enemy and he might need to move away from me but I still don't want to let go. Please never leave me. Stay with me a little longer. It is silly but I feel that if you let go now I will get scared. I looked down. Some minutes ago I was thinking that I want this person's blood. I was really thinking that if it is him then it is fine. He has such a 'bad' influence over me yet, I want to remain like this. Until now I never thought about wanting someone's blood.

My fingers got cold. Haruka ran away and left me there. My eyes only looked at the lonely fingers. He really let go of me so easily… I have no power to look at him. He might need help but I hardly believe that. I am sad. _Why are you sad?_ Something like this I…really don't know. I wanted to hold that cold hand a little longer. It felt good, natural for us to hold hands. I licked my lips and smiled. I think that I am getting nuts.

"It is over." I looked from my hand to Haruka. He was walking in my direction. The presence of the other pureblood disappeared. I was so absorbed by stupid thoughts that I lost their fight. It should have been an interesting one since two purebloods were fighting.

"You broke the law." This is all I can say right now.

"It is fine. I will discuss this matter with the senate members. What I did was not wrong and you know that." He stopped in front of me and raised his left palm. The same that was holding mine some minutes ago.

I turned and walked to the exit. I won't give you my hand again. We have no reasons to hold hands. If someone sees us they will get it wrong. "I know nothing. Telling you the truth I don't really care what you do." Haruka kept on looking at my back until I left the room. Tch! This time why did I say that? I realized a mistake I did but I shouldn't take it on him. It was my fault from the very beginning. I turned to left, to the stairs. The hell starts now. That bastard built just too many stairs! It will take me one hour to climb them up. Coming down was easy but now I don't think that it is the same.

Haruka caught up with me after I climbed up some seconds. I feel nothing from him. I closed my eyes and decided to ignore him.

After four minutes I began to pant. Damn, I knew that it will be like this. My feet hurt like hell! I turned and sat on a grade. "I cannot move anymore…" I said on a husky voice. I am all hot and tired. It is kind of embarrassing that at my age I lose my stamina this fast but I am not like others. Haruka is just fine. He looked at me with his garnet eyes. They somehow look worried. We exchanged an eye contact then I looked down. Too tired… I grabbed my muffler and pulled it away. My body is so hot… He sat one garnet higher.

"It is fine to take a break."

"Since you are fine go ahead." Go away from me. It is too dangerous to stay close to you. Not only me but you might also be in danger.

"I feel like staying here longer. At the Senate is a lot of work for me to do."

I can feel my blood boiling. My throat is getting dry out of the sudden. Something is telling me that this has nothing to do with being tired. I never felt like this before. My hands and feet want to move on their own. Ha… I want this person's blood. I hunger for his blood. This is the very first time I am like this. I cannot control myself for much longer if he doesn't leave… "Baka. That is your job so don't run away." Keep your voice normal. Don't let him know what is going on!

"I am not in a hurry. What about you?"

Bangs covered my red eyes. Without my allowance my body is moving on its own. Somehow I found myself on my knees, between his parted legs. My nasty hands brushed his shoulders without shame. Please…stop. He is the only one I don't feel like dashing away. He is one of the little people with whom I really like talking, staying with. Only around him I can be myself. The tip of my nose slipped over his neck. I feel my fangs growing with lust for blood. "I only want your blood," I finally responded. That's not it! It is not normal to crave for his blood. Until now I was fine with my pills. What has happened to me? My mouth slowly opened revealing some hungry fangs. I am so dirty… Slowly, my lips reached his neck. I shut close my eyes. Idiot! Why don't you push me away? You are a Kuran! You should really treasure your blood yet you are… I clenched his shoulders and rose from the cold ground. I pulled some strands of hair on my back and grabbed my muffler. "Just kidding." No, I was serious. I really wanted to taste, drink that delicious blood of yours. My feet began to climb up again. We must part as soon as possible.

"I wouldn't have stopped you if you were serious." His voice is like an echo in my head. I smiled lustful. Saying such disturbing things to a person who is craving for blood is like taboo.

"You are a pureblood. Protect yourself more." Though I say that I always do crazy things. Like right now. If father were to know where I am right now he would go mad. I am his only child and he cannot possible lose me like this. I am sure that he has lots of things prepared for me. He has to know nothing. Nothing.

"I do but I don't feel the need to protect myself from you."

"Why is that? You don't find me a threat?" Am I really that weak in your eyes? I could very easily turn you in shards of glass if I try really, really hard. Though, I wouldn't make something like that. Not to you at least. There will be lots of consequences if I were to kill a Kuran. I still don't know his entire power so I can only kill him in theory.

"No. Because you are special."

I bit my lower lip as we kept on walking. "Even so, don't let me bit you. If in the future I have this kind of intentions push me away. I even allow you to hit me if it is necessary." Like any vampire I also lust for blood. Many times I imagined how it would taste like or how is the feeling of biting someone. But this is the first time I actually went for it. Until now my tablets were good enough.

"Such terrible punishment you have for yourself. Do you hate being born as a vampire?"

"It is none of your business." I tilted my head over the shoulder. He kept on smiling back at me although his eyes seem sad. "No need to worry. I won't jump to your neck ever again." With that said we reached the top of the stairs. The cold wind from outside pushed me one step back. We should have closed the door after entering here.

I folded the muffler back to my neck. Since I don't drink blood I have low tolerance to cold or hot periods. You could say that this is my punishment for going against what I am. Though… I wouldn't say that I hate this. I don't. Being born a vampire is not bad. I love the parents that had me and gave me so many things. If I have another life I want it to be the same.

We stepped outside in the freezing weather. It is snow blasting. This is the first time I see such a winter. Usually it doesn't snow this much.

"If your business is over allow me to take you home."

I turned to face the over kind pureblood. "No. It would be strange for me to be walked home by the powerful Haruka-sama. Nobody has to know that I've been near this place."

His smile became wider. "Then near your house. I won't let people see us together."

"You can walk me until the road. After that I am going alone."

"Juri." My heart jumped out of my chest. He just said my name. Those beautiful lips said it so wonderfully. "I took care of you until one second ago. Let's do it the way I say." The magic broke. This bastard…

"What do you really want, Haruka?" I looked coldly at him. "We are at different levels and I know that. You have so much power that I cannot even imagine. I might never have even half of it." I know all of this. You are too different from me. I clenched violently my fists. "Name, power and age. You can simply destroy me by just blowing your breath over me yet you are this 'kind' to me. Until some minutes ago I thought that you are just a nice pureblood but now that I think carefully about it there is no such thing." Even if you seem to be kind in front of me in reality there is something that you want. I am a vampire myself so I know this much. People of our kind crave for respect more than anything. They pretend to be nice until they get what they want and after that they will erase you. He wants… "It is about my blood? Since I was allowed to enter in the society I understood one single thing: people crave for my blood. They look at me with so much thirst. Though you don't show it you want the same thing." I feel like an idiot for thinking of him this much. In the end a vampire is a vampire and nothing more. "Is my blood that tasty?" I asked bitterly.

His facial expression never changed. Haruka looked at me with sad eyes. It is as if he pities me for some reason. I don't need his pity. After three years I got used to be watched as food only. This is why I want to be the princess. I want the respect that I deserve. But I really want to know: is my blood that tasty?

"I would lie if I said that your blood doesn't smell good. I am older than you by many years and I have indeed enough power to hurt you but that isn't my intention."

"Then what do you want?" My eyes got red and my fangs grew out of anger. Why is it me?

"Nothing. I don't have hidden intentions. Maybe there is one thing." I frowned. "I want a friend whom I can trust. Age has nothing to do with it."

"Then I am not the one." Slowly, I calmed down. You cannot trust me because I don't trust myself. "Let's not meet again."

I said that and turned away. Walking away from him slowly hurt me. Though I was angry on him I really wanted to walk together. I should have never asked what his intentions were. He could have been a special friend of mine yet I pushed him away.

"Haruka…you and I seek the same thing: a trustful person." I do trust you. Even if you were to drink all of my blood until the last drip I would never hate you. I walked away like always but I want you to know that I am… "…your friend…"


	4. Chapter 4

Spring came very hard. The snow was very thick and the clouds always covered the sun. It was a cold and unmerciful winter. Dogs were crying every night because of low temperatures and hunger. I was sick most of the time because I have no immunity. Because of high fevers and dizziness I was unable to attend many classes and ended up missing many interesting school activities. Classmates sent me many cards and chocolate to get better but that only made me feel worse. I was really happy to know that people think about me but at the same time sad that I ended up being pitied by humans. But now that spring finally came I feel so much better. The sun is warming up the coldness brought by winter and birds have returned. I wake up hearing their beautiful and cheerful songs every day.

I put the pen down and watched Akira-sensei explaining to us a new formula. Sigh… I missed him a lot and now that I finally have the chance to see him again I cannot stop staring at him. His hair is shivering in the air whenever he moves or speaks. It looks like he is a wonderful prince that orders us around. Ah…sensei… His long fingers possess so well that chalk. Nothing can go against his beauty. That white robe makes him look really superior to us, useless students. I relaxed my jaw in the palm. Please look at me sensei.

"Are you an idiot?" a drip of sweat travelled Saya's forehead as if she knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Think whatever you want…" My eyes never lost his face. I licked my lips while seeing him moving. It hurts to know that we are this different. I want to be with sensei. In times like this I wish I wasn't born a vampire. By the time I reach his age sensei will slowly lose his beauty. Why do humans have such weak bodies when it comes to time? I want to see sensei forever. If only I could stay next to him I would be satisfied but… nobody will allow me to be next to sensei.

"Next class we will have a test so learn this formula. You will have to use it." I closed my notebook and sighed. I am finally back at school and we have to take an exam already… "Someone help me carry this things," he pointed to a mountain of papers that we had as homework.

"Sensei!" Saya got up from her seat. "Juri would love to help!" she said pointing at me.

"What?" I said surprised hearing my name suddenly.

"Then move faster." He said as he walked to the door.

I looked at Saya disturbed. What happened? "Carry those papers you idiot!" she punched my shoulder with her fist.

I run to the desk and grabbed the wonderful papers that gave me a chance to walk next to sensei. I winked at Saya before leaving the classroom. She really is a wonderful person. Thanks to her I can speak with sensei about something else. Usually I only explain a formula but now I will do so much more. Sensei waited for me to come. He was resting against a wall. My cheeks got red. I shouldn't have daydreamed. "I am sorry to make you wait." I slowly bowed my head. He sighed and began to walk in front of me. I like being so close to sensei.

"You…" he began quietly.

"Yes?" I asked excited. I am speaking with sensei right now!

"Stop dreaming in my class." I felt my heart breaking in many shards of glass.

"I am terrible sorry…" I looked down. He found out. Maybe I am too obvious.

"Though you are one of my best students it would be nice to be heard by you." A drip of sweat rested on my forehead. It is true that I hardly listen to him…

"Yes…" It could have been a great walk but it turned out like this. I should act more like myself. "I cannot really help it. I want to see sensei as much as much as I can so I ignore most of the things."

"If you like someone you should also listen to that person. It is common sense."

Listen to the person I like… I like sensei very much and I would do many things for him but I still cannot get close to him. I am a vampire that seeks human blood, how could I possibly be closer to sensei? He would never accept me… He will end up fearing me and maybe get killed by other vampires. I know I should not get close to him if I want sensei to be safe…. "Does sensei have someone he likes?"

"Who knows? Maybe I do."

"Do you listen to every little sound that person makes?"

He stopped and faced me. I was startled by his sudden reflex. "You have nothing else to speak about?"

I made sensei angry? I smiled mischievously. "I don't really want to know if you are free or not. I was curious, that is all." I know that I must keep my distance but here I am trying to get close to him.

He kept on looking into my eyes. Sensei, you will find nothing there. I never let my real feelings out in front of others. You can search for anything into my eyes, on my face, but nothing will help you. My love for you is hidden deep inside my heart. Nobody will see it there.

"Thank you for bringing the papers." He took them from my grip. His face was so close to mine. My nose was able to feel his sweet smell. Gulp. Our hands touched for a second. I was overwhelmed with an incredible hotness. Sensei has very warm hands unlike others. This is my first time touching a human hand. It felt so good.

He opened the door with his foot then stepped inside. Even after the door was closed I kept on starring at my hands. I feel warm. In a world where only coldness and darkness lives this touch is killing me. My body is not used to such hot contacts. Sensei makes me experience so many new and sometimes strange things. My heart is overwhelmed with feelings for him. Ah…I really want to protect this man. He is mine and nobody should ever touch him.

I turned and walked back to the classroom. After all sensei is really incredible. If only I could touch his hands again. One thing really makes me happy: these disgusting fangs of mine never wanted to touch his neck. My feelings for sensei are true. The corned of my lips formed a small smile. I love sensei too much, really. Nobody should know about this. The fingers that touched his hand brushed my dry lips. The feeling is still there. It is a sin to crave for a human's love.

"How did it go?" Saya asked getting down from her desk.

I grabbed my bag to put my things back. "Not so well but I am happy. Our hands touched." Once again I looked at my hands. They want so badly to grab his hands once more.

"Have you ever thought that what you feel is only sexual?" she sat on my chair and looked into my eyes. Her beautiful green eyes are like poison for me. She has her way of making me feel bad.

I didn't…couldn't look away. "Maybe it is but that is also an attraction."

She frowned for a second then looked on the window. For a second I closed my eyes. His face appeared into my black mind. I put the last book in the bag then hanged it on my shoulder. Saya kept on looking on the window like I was not there. The atmosphere between us is growing cold. Saya is my best friend and I speak everything with her. She knows my darkest secrets, wishes and things that I've done. There is nobody who I trust like her but she judges me and this annoys me.

"What about Haruka-sama?" she asked quietly. Her face kept on looking away.

In the empty class his name echoed. It has been over four months since the last time I saw him. I don't miss him though. For many weeks I was ill and I had to study at home. Then I started school again and I once again started to see sensei. My mind was full with other things. I almost forgot about him. "What about him?"

"I don't know. Maybe you also miss him?" her voice is like a punishment. It hurts my heart so much.

"I don't even think about him."

She suddenly got up and put her long nails under my chin. "You really are a bad girl." She said bitterly. Her lips approached my ear. "Then why don't you turn sensei in a vampire. You have the power to do that." I heard her licking tumultuously her lips. "Then run together with him somewhere. That is if…" her hands slipped over my shoulders pulling me in a strong hug. "…he won't fear you after he knows what you really are."

I think nothing about this. Her hands slowly released me. One more time we looked into each other's eyes. She was smirking at me with so much pleasure. Saya grabbed her bag and walked to the door. I stayed there, with my back at her. "Do you think that a person like him would be better for me?"

"I do. It is only natural to be better for you." Her presence disappeared from the room.

Saya is so different from me. She can clearly see things the way they are. Maybe someone like Haruka is better for me but that doesn't mean that it has to be him. In the vampire society are many good man. When the time comes I will chose one of them. Father will probably want a pureblood so he will chose for me. I don't mind. He can do whatever he thinks is best for me but I will never open my heart to them. I have only one dream when it comes to my world: to become the pureblood princess. If I were influential maybe I could have sensei.

At two in the morning I took my jacket and walked outside. I like to walk under the blooming cherry trees. They have a beautiful color that calms me down. Since I left school I didn't think of anything. What Saya said remained in that classroom. I will have to face it when I go back at school. She is always right about things but I still ignore it. Her words are the best among the best but everyone can be wrong from time to time. Maybe one day I could have sensei… I stopped under a tree and reached my hands in the air. "Things will go right." I said looking at the falling petals. The way they fall makes me think that one day I will also break in the same way and fall over the cold ground. I licked my lips. The smell of blood is so strong. "It is so tasty…" I tilted my head to the entrance of the park. Someone very testy is wounded there. My feet are moving on their own. This smell is so tasty that it is killing me. Until that incident I never thought about blood as being tasty. Now, my hunger can hardly be stopped by pills. I don't know what changed into me back then but I really want to taste blood.

The wind slowly brushed my hair. Ah… it feels so good. Only a little longer and I can meet up with my meal. I frowned. No! I only want to see who the person in pain is. It is not like I want to drink his or her blood. I stopped in front of the entrance. It is clearly coming from here. This smell is somehow nostalgic but I cannot think of anyone who smells like this. I stepped with determination. Maybe I can help.

Walking among tress I found, staying against a cherry tree, a male. It is too far to see who he is but I know. This feeling is… My feet speeded up as my eyes got bigger and bigger. I began to run leaving my hair to catch up with me. I felt a little pain in my heart and somehow despaired at the thought that he was hurt. On the ground, cherry petals were floating on blood as if they were on a lake. I slowly calmed down as I walked next to him. "Well, well, to think that I will find you here, like this." Blood is slipping from his head over his forehead and jaw. He has a big hole in his right shoulder. His clothes are tainted in blood. "Haruka."

I got on my knees next to him. I like seeing him like this. I cannot help it. He annoyed me so many times that I feel like this is my only way of revenge. Haruka's face is pretty white from blood loss. "You poor person." I licked my lower lip as I saw drips of blood falling from his chin. It looks so tasty. One drip fell on my finger. I smiled as I opened my mouth to taste the tasty liquid. I stopped. My hand fell over the grass. "You saved me so many times…" I reached my palm above his open lips. It is time to pay my debts to you so I can free myself from you. I clenched hard my fist until the nails dug into the flesh. It hurts. This is the first time I hurt myself for someone. Pearls of blood fell over his lips and into his mouth. "This is the first time I give my blood. You'd better be grateful." The feeling is so strange. I feel like I am doing something very intimate with him. Vampires always drink blood but for me, who never allowed someone to touch me, it is different. I can feel my cheeks getting pink. Gulp. Is my blood tasty? You once said that I smell good so it must be delicious. I want to hear you saying it.

The wound still didn't heal. Haruka didn't open his eyes even after he drank some drips of my blood. I got on my rear further away from him. A black aura covered me. You know… I gave you my blood so it would have been nice to actually make you feel better. I put a finger on the ground and began to rub the grass. Baka Haruka. You are making me worry even though I don't want to. Tsk! Well… Three drips of sweat rested above my ear. It is true that I was greedy giving you so little. You probably didn't feel it at all. Sigh…

My eyes got big as I felt something slipping over my neck. Before I had time to tilt my head something hard and painful pierced my neck. "Hurts…" A pair of hands immobilized my shoulders. "Haru…ka…" Pain… My body is overwhelmed with pain. I can hear him swallowing my blood. "Stop…" I cannot lose any kind of blood I… My head rested over his shoulder. From this position is can see some of his face. His fangs are deep inside my neck, stealing my blood. "Haaa…" I can feel it. Feel the blood that is leaving my body. Besides the pierce from his fangs nothing else hurts. He is too brutal. It does feel kind of embarrassing. I wander why.

I feel so tired, so sleepy. My eyes want to close and rest. I've already lost too much blood. "No more," I whispered. He doesn't seem to want to stop. Too much pain. I want to sleep a little. I closed my eyes and feel in the darkness. Even after that I could hear him sucking hard my blood. I wander… Is my blood that tasty?

People around me always got thirsty after seeing me. My father probably knows that I smell very good so he kept me inside the house. At the age of 13 he considered that I can take care of myself so he showed me the bloody world we live in. In the beginning I was scared but with time I got used to be surrounded by many mean vampires. I said that Saya is a great person but I hardly believe that she is different from others. She also wants something and she also does bad things. I know because she told me about it. Saya won't betray me. She will always be a true friend. I… still feel lonely. My heart aches in pain. _'Nothing. I don't have hidden intentions. Maybe there is one thing. I want a friend whom I can trust. Age has nothing to do with it.' 'Then I am not the one. Let's not meet again.'_ I am a horrible person. Not only Haruka but Saya is also suffering because of me. I made her worry so many times because I could not say the entire truth. Now she is worrying again because I am in love with a human. She tries to convince me that it is not that kind of love. I wander what kind of love it is then. ' _I want a friend whom I can trust.' 'Then I am not the one. Let's not meet again.'_ Those horrible words keep on echoing in my brain. I wanted to be your friend. My heart said that I want your friendship even though you are older than me. Because of your age you will keep our friendship safe. _'Then I am not the one. Let's not meet again.'_ Forgive me for saying all those bad words to you. I didn't want to hurt you in any way…

I opened my tired eyes. Cough! Cough! My eyes are puffy. It is hard to see. I reached my neck with the right hand. It hurts terrible. The wound is still there. Even before I was healing slowly but now it is even worse. How long can I keep on going like this? Tablets are not going to help me too much from now on. Supporting myself with the free hand I got on my rear. I am staying on a garnet sofa. In front of it is a coffee table. On the brown woody floor is a white terry. This room… I don't recognize it. Where is this? My eyes kept on searching. It is my first time here.

"Are you fine?" I looked over my shoulder in search of the person who spoke to me. Behind a very messy desk I found Haruka reading some papers. He looks much better. No wonder. He almost killed me trying to save himself.

"I see…" My view is unclear. I feel dizzy. "So this is your office." I looked ahead again. My feet reached the floor and I got up. It is so hard to stand. My head hurts just too much to keep my balance. Haruka was next to me in a second. He grabbed my elbow for support. Without realizing my head was already resting on his shoulder. "I am fine."

"You look weak." I won't say a word. Only not to make him feel even worst for what he has done. The smell around him says just how much he is suffering. He didn't mean to make me like this. Last time as well, when I got my nose near his neck I could smell his hunger. Guess that I am the only vampire who can actually live only with blood tablets. He slipped his hand over my middle for better support. "I am sorry. I…"

"I tempted you from the beginning so it is fine." I gave you only a little of my blood and it was enough to make you lose control. You were also in such a bad condition. Somehow I knew that it will end like this. A wounded vampire always craves for blood to regain power. I knew and I still approached you and gave you some of my blood. "What happened to you?"

"I had a little dispute with my older brother."

"Only a little one…" It is funny. You were unconscious on the ground with blood all over you. "It happens all the time?"

"It is the first time." My body fell harder over him. Tch! It is so hard to stay on my own feet. The sun is hiding which means that I slept the whole day. Ah, I lost one day of school and my parents know nothing about where I am. They must be worried. "You really are too weak. Drink my blood."

For a while, I closed my eyes. They began to prick. "Don't…say disgusting things…" My throat is dry and my lips are chopped. "But water…I want…" Sigh… Who would have thought that it will hurt so much to speak?

He called a woman and asked for a glass of water. He slowly rested my back over the sofa. Cough! Supporting my chin with his cold fingers he slowly gave me water to drink. It is so cold and refreshing. Even though it is not much I can feel my powers coming back. I opened my eyes while he put the glass on the table. He sat next to me holding my hand tight. "Baka… Don't look like that at me." I have no regrets. How should I say it? I am happy that you are the first to drink my blood. I am happy that I could help you. This was the only way to make you forgive my rudeness. "You misunderstood. I don't think that your blood is disgusting. Only the thought of drinking it feels like that."

"Should I give you a tablet?" his voice worried.

"Yeah…Give my three."

He dissolved three pills of blood in the water and helped me drink once again. Even though I asked him to stop looking so hurt at me he still does. It makes my heart ache like this. I don't want to see him like this. He should be happy that I helped him. That regret makes me feel like he didn't want my blood. He would have preferred someone else's blood. "After all, you hate yourself for being born a vampire."

I swallowed the last drip of water. "I don't. It may look like it but I don't. I just don't want to drink anyone's blood." I looked intensely at Haruka. Now I think that I see him with different eyes. Haruka is indeed a very charming man. I feel stupid for not realizing it until now. "Be my friend, ok?"

"Although you hate me?" he asked on a shaky voice.

"Who said that I hate you? I could have pushed you away back then but I didn't. All this time wanted to be your friend but I couldn't say the right words. You know me already. I only say the opposite of what I think." I also squeezed his hand.

"It is ok. I am an insistent person. I would have still walked after you if I happened to see you." He gave me one of his warm smiles. This is enough to give me power.

"You really are…" I feel asleep. His hand never left mine.


	5. Chapter 5

"He drank your blood?" Saya whispered excited. Currently we are during math class but we found something better to speak about. It has been a while since the last time we spoke so we need to make up for the lost time. I smiled back at her and nodded. "That is why you didn't come to school for two days. Your body was weak. Did you also drink his blood?" I looked down, to my notes. This is so embarrassing. "Are you kidding me? Why not?"

"You know me. I cannot put my mouth on it." Once I was really tempted to drink his blood but after that it didn't happen again. I guess that it was for the first time I was this close to a male and I felt that attraction. Now I am completely fine.

"You know that when a male and female drink each other's blood one after another they are officially a couple?"

I looked at her with a blue face. "I-I didn't know…"

"Are you really a vampire?" she said ironically. It was like a rock fell over my head. Why didn't I hear that sooner? "Don't tell me you would have done it if you knew," she grinned again.

"Yes. Not with Haruka. I am speaking about the future." I cannot bite sensei. He is the only one I really don't want to transform into a vampire. For me, sensei is one hundred times more important than anyone. There won't be any kind of future for the two of us, right? I should give up on him.

"I know who you are talking about." She smiled back at me. I blushed and looked back at my notebook. It is so annoying how well she knows me. But it feels good to be known by somebody. There is no need of words. My stomach knotted for a second.

"It seems that the two of you are too busy to be attentive in my class," sensei said annoyed.

"Eeeee! But we don't understand anything anyway," I said still looking down.

"I see. Both of you have some nerves…."

Before we knew Saya and I were already on the hallway with two buckets filled with water in our hands. This is really heavy but at least we can speak whatever we want without being interrupted again.

"Does he know who he is putting to hold such a heavy thing?" Saya asked annoyed.

I drip of sweat rested on my forehead. "Who?" Is she referring to herself? Sure she is an aristocrat so it is rude to make her hold such a thing.

"A pure blood princess!" she roared. I opened my mouth in surprise and looked at her. Is she referring to me? "Don't look like you are about to cry baka. Of course you are the pure blood princess. It has been found out about what you and Haruka-sama did last winter with a traitor. My father told me about it yesterday. They are really beginning to respect you."

"Father didn't say a word. Maybe he isn't proud of me at all." It is possible he is angry. I did a very dangerous thing.

"Because you were sick until now. Speak with him tonight."

"But you know… I didn't do a thing. Haruka did everything while I was disturbed by other thoughts." If I will be called the princess for this then it will all be fake. I didn't do anything to deserve this.

Saya put her palm over my shoulder. "Don't worry because I know that you have a strong heart and great powers. Believe a little in yourself, Juri."

I nodded. She is right. But from now on I need to work even harder. But why didn't father say a word? He usually says things to me when they are important. Maybe in his eyes this isn't… How could that be?! Of course it is. Being called the princess of the pureblood vampires means more than anything. It means that I have a strong value among all the vampires.

After class, sensei let us go. It has been such a tiring day. After staying home for three days in which I slept in the day I feel destroyed now. I only want to go home and sleep as much as I can. Saya looked at me from the corner of the classroom. She has to stay another hour with the Japanese teacher. It seems that she started yesterday a real fight with him during the classroom. He was so pissed that she now has to stay for a mouth after classes with him. She will help with papers and other boring things. I smiled sheepishly at her. She sighed and looked down. Only bad things happen to her when I am not around at school. Last year she actually bit a person during the athletics class. It was kind of hard to keep that person quiet. In the end we had to erase her memories. It was good practice for me. I waved my palm before leaving the class. She did the same with a very sad face. It is hard to stay this much awake during the day. Although, she is getting used to it little by little.

The weather is getting hotter and hotter. Like this I won't be able to resist. It has been only three days since Haruka drunk my blood. My body is still weak. No matter how many tablets I take I still cannot recover. This body craves for real blood not for the artificial one. With the tips of my finger I touched my lips. They already know that as long as I refuse it is no use to go against me. These fangs of mine know that even if they begin to hurt and try tempting me I will close my eyes and keep on walking. If Haruka had never drunk my blood right now I would have been fine. Mentally speaking I am but physically I… My feet stopped after seeing sensei. It has been a while and I really began to miss him. He was staying against the window looking at something.

"Do you need something?" he asked bitterly.

"No. I just stopped to look at you a little." I missed your voice. Though my mind is filled with Haruka my heart cries after you. There is no day in which I don't remember the difference between us. Every day I think that I can…

"You skipped my test. I had something to tell you." He looked at me with his purple eyes. Sensei wanted to speak with me only… I really missed something important. My eyes are focused only on him. What was so important that I should have heard? "This is my last day in this school."

I felt the ground shaking under my feet. "Why?" my voice is a little shaky. I didn't expect something like this.

"I've decided to do something else. That is all I can tell you."

As I stayed there, in front of him, I could think of only one thing: it hurts but is the best option. Sensei and I need to be far away one from another. He is a human who knows nothing about me. He doesn't love me the way I do. I, on the other hand, love sensei very much. If I could live an eternity with sensei I would make him a vampire but it will destroy him. I don't want to do that.

Gulp. This is so awkward. My eyes looked insistent at his hands. I remember that sensei has very warm hands. To think that I will never feel them again… I took all my courage I had and took one of his hands into mine. "Sensei is so different from others. I never met a man with warm hands like yours." My father also has cold hands. All the male I had contact with had cold hands. Haruka has also very cold hands. When I touch them it feels like I touch an iceberg. But Saya's are warm. I wander how my hands are.

"Your hands are burning so maybe that is why you feel like others have cold hands."

"Really? I didn't know that I have warm hands." I smiled. Somehow I am happy to know that. "I…" It is not heard of a pureblood vampire to cry in front of others and especially in front of a human but I cannot hold my tears anymore. Ever since I entered into high school sensei has been my teacher. I've learned many things from him, not only about school. Classes were fun and sensei would also joke with us when we had hard time understanding. He was so nice to us… I spent some time alone with him in his office. I got to know so many things about sensei. He would let me help when he had to correct tests. This is how I got to love him. During trips I've got to see sensei wearing casual clothes. He looked so sexy. Every second I would be near him. I wanted sensei only for myself. Why does it have to end? "…love sensei…" I should have never said that. It is taboo to declare your love to a human. Something like this is not allowed.

"I know. This is why I wanted to tell you that I'm leave." My heart is in so much pain. Sensei said it on such a calm voice. He doesn't love me. He never did and never will. My tears will never stop like this.

"Even after you leave…I…can't we keep in touch?" I looked into his eyes with my rainy ones.

"No. This is the last meeting."

He brushed my hands off and walked away. "Take me with you…" He clearly heard me but he didn't respond. Sensei didn't turn to look at me at all. All I can see is a cold back. I have no meaning for sensei. "At least…" I bit my lower lip. "…one kiss."

Sensei stopped. So this is what I've became… Asking for a kiss when I know that it would be better not to. I know that but I still want to do it. Looking away from sensei I could calm down a bit. As long as his sight is not in front of me I can still stay on my own feet.

"With this kiss will you be able to let go of me forever?" he asked walking back to me. I nodded. _Auto destruction…._ Maybe this is what I want. His hand slipped over my neck and jaw. It sent some strong shivers into my spine. This is the first time I feel sensei this close. His hand is caressing my wet cheek. My stomach knotted. Ah… Sensei… He bowed resting his forehead over mine. Our eyes meet in a sweet yet bitter moment. Please give me my first kiss. If it is sensei then I won't regret it. You are the one and most important person in my life. I saw his lips parting before raising my chin and touching my trembling lips. So this is what a kiss is. A warm sensation is taking control over my body. It makes my knees weak like they are some kind of gum. I clenched hard with both hands his coat. Please stay with me forever. In this dark and unfriendly world you are the sun that keeps me alive. You are the reason for which I could come this far.

Every part of sensei is warm. His body is so hot that I can feel it through his shirt. But what I feel the most are his moisten lips. This feeling will never be forgotten by my body. It will become a sin that will always be on my lips; a sin that will never be forgiven by anyone. But it is fine if people find out and punish me. Something like this is unique. For this I can go through all the punishment without crying. His lips bit my lower lip before parting.

This is the last time when we meet. Maybe there won't be a second time to meet. I need to look at his back until he disappears. I was 16 when I first met and fell in love with him. Sensei was an easygoing person and I couldn't help but feel attached to him. I always watched him from behind. He walks away with my first kiss and feelings. We will never meet again.

The tips of my fingers touched my lips. Sensei tasted like black tee. His warmth is still there… I looked down letting the last tears to fall down. Sigh. Now that we already kissed I… It is harder to let go of him. Sensei knew that a kiss will only make me like him even more yet he…

"You really do bad things."

"Um. But it is fine. We will never meet again." I shook my head. It feels so heavy.

"Juri…" The pause is killing me. I want Saya to get angry with me and scold me. There is no other way to forget about him for now. His touch is still alive on my lips. "…if the Senate finds out about this I don't think that things will be alright. Your father will lose it."

"Will you tell them?" I tilted my head over the shoulder to face her. She was looking at me with cold eyes.

"If there will be another time I will. Purebloods cannot be lost like this. There is no other way to protect you."

"I know. I will be good so don't tell anyone. They will hurt sensei."

Saya walked past me leaving a cold air behind. She won't say a word but I will have to live with her anger. Only in time she will forget this and start treating me like before.

On this corridor sensei walked some minutes ago. "Humans should never get near vampires. If they do only death waits for them." I walked away. This is the last time…

The sun is slowly hiding, leaving everything in darkness. My father woke up some minutes ago and we are currently eating in the dining room. I was so disturbed the whole day that I couldn't close one eye. My mind is blurry because of Saya. I already lost sensei but I cannot lose her because of my attitude. She is the only friend who I really trust. If she were to walk away from me then I will have to take her back by force. These eyes of mine will change her mind and everything will come back to normal. She will never be too far away from me because I won't allow her to do that.

I am fine now. Being a vampire sure has its merits. Since I left school I never thought of my feelings for sensei. My mind was only black. Of course, I miss him very much but it cannot be read on my face. Since birth I have an emotionless face. In my eyes is no light, only darkness. This plain face can rarely show a real smile. I am a pureblood vampire who cannot enjoy life until there is a reason. If the Senate or my father were to know they would panic. It has been heard of people like me. They all were purebloods and committed suicide 'cause they couldn't enjoy their lives. I am not thinking about something like this. Frankly speaking right now I think of nothing. I made up my mind about Saya and got used to the idea that sensei will never cross my path again. There is nothing else to think about. Father doesn't need to bother himself with my problems. He needs to think that I am just fine.

"Juri," my father said promptly.

"Yes father?"

"The Senate is thinking about giving you the name of princess." My eyes never left the toast from my hand. I already know about this from Saya and I was waiting for him to say something.

"I see." I put my toast down and looked at father. "Oto-sama, I don't deserve the title. Haruka d…"

"Haruka?" he asked looking at me with cold eyes.

I looked back at my plate. "…Haruka-sama did everything. My mind was somewhere else back then. I shouldn't receive such a name." It is true. I don't. Haruka did everything while I wasn't even looking. My mind was only on how he held my hand. That feeling is gone. I can hardly remember how I felt like back then or when he held me. The only thing my body can remember is sensei's touch.

"Haruka-kun said that you will make a good princess. Since he said that you should do according to his words."

"It is a waste of words for someone like me. But father seems to kind of like the Kuran master." I looked back at him. One second ago he was annoyed about the way I spoke his name. Even though we both are purebloods I still need to be this formal. It is as if I create a gap between us. Haruka is one of the few friends that I have. Though I don't know what kind of friendship is this between a 103 years old vampire and one of 17. We have nothing to speak of and we hardly see each other. But it is true that my blood is leaving inside his veins. Wherever he goes I go together with him. We have this bond that keeps us together even in this second.

"What I want to know is how you got to know Haruka-kun."

"I met him by coincidence once. Since then we happened to meet three-four times." There is so more to be said but I couldn't. Father will beat the life out of me if he knew the way I treat him. He also does not know that I spent a day and a half at his house. He thinks that I was at school and after that went to the library.

"I see." He got up from his chair, putting the tissue on the table. I did the same and walked behind him to the main door. A maid put his spencer on his shoulders. The guard opened the door for him to leave. "Juri," he looked at me over his shoulder. "Don't get close to Haruka-kun. You are not good for him." The door was close behind him.

"I am…no good?" I whispered to myself. Haruka is indeed a famous vampire. Others fear him and are willing to lick his shoe if he says so. He never said anything to me about how I act. Though I had no intentions in the beginning to give him my blood in the end he took it himself. I didn't push him away because of the new sensation I was feeling. He should have never tasted my blood because I am "…no good."

"Juri-sama, tomorrow is a party held by Kuran-sama. The master said that we should go and buy a proper dress." Sigh. This night seems to grow bigger.


	6. Chapter 6

The maids made me an unrecognizable person. They caught my hair in a very nice bun with strands of hair falling messy over my shoulders. The dress is of a perfect white designed without sleeves. In front, the skirt reaches half of my tights while in the back it falls over the back of my knees. This time, around my neck a ribbon was folded two times. My lips are red like the blood. Father sure wants me to look like a real princess. I don't really want to attract more attention than I usually do. My blood is tasty enough for others to smell and find me. They put my white shoes then helped me to get up. It is so disgusting. I am dressed in white from head to toe. Even my bra and panties are white. This dress fits like a parody on me.

I walked slowly to the door where father and mother were waiting for me. Why am I also going? They usually don't take me to parties if I don't want to. Well I didn't have the age to attend one until this year but they would let me attend ours. I have no reason to go there so why am I even dressed up like this? Father didn't listen to what I had to say and told me to hurry up because he is waiting. The guard opened the door and made a deep bow as we walked past him. I really hate this. Why can't I just stay home and relax? I had an awful day at school. The new chemistry teacher is a woman and I hate her. Her sweet voice is only made up. Maybe she can fool the students but not me. Her smell was one of a horrible woman. The way she was trying to look cute made me roll my eyes over and over. Slowly, I am starting to hate school.

We stepped inside the car and stayed in silence. I love my parents more than anything but it is so hard to stay with them. I always need to have a perfect position and be careful to what I say. They don't like me fooling around and prefer to have me quiet most of the time. I cannot look bored or sleepy. I must always be perfect. This is making me tired.

"Juri," my father broke the silence. I looked away from the window. "Haruka-kun wanted you to attend this party but that does not mean that you have to be close to him. I'd prefer you as far as possible from him."

I crossed my fingers over my tights. "Why does Haruka-sama want me there?" What is Haruka thinking? We didn't speak since that day and I was hoping to not meet for a while. He is a very cunning person and I have my problems. Lots of nerves have built up in me.

"Because you are officially the pureblood princess. It is only natural to be present at all the parties."

"I understand." Yesterday father came home and told me this big news. I was not impressed since I didn't want the name like this. Haruka did everything while I was only… I did nothing to help out. Father said that he was the one who proposed but everyone was ok with it. My record is pretty good since last year I eliminated five level E and caught three vampire criminals. I always do things like this to make a name for myself and, of course, for becoming the princess. But I think that I still have a long way to go until I really deserve the name.

It has been only three hours since the sunset. On the streets are still many humans walking. They don't know the real fear. The government is not willing to accept us and told people to be careful to strange things. But it seems that it wasn't enough. Many don't believe that vampires exist and keep on laughing. Without knowing they temp us and this is how many become level E. Once a pure blood bites a person it is the end. Either one's blood becomes toxic and kills that person either they survive but become a vampire. It is not a real vampire but a beast that has fangs and survives with blood. They will never be able to come back to what they were once. It is indeed terrible.

The car stopped in front of the house. The driver opened the door for us. Mother and father where the first to step outside. Oto-sama gave me his hand for help. I stepped on the cemented footway. The night is a little bit chilly. In the air I can smell the scent of vampires. This is my first time to an outside party. I feel nervous. This is the first time I greet him with my parents next to me. I cannot just act as I usually do. Sigh… It will be very awkward. What should I say? Damn! I should have thought about it at home with a piece of paper in front of me. Ah, this will be very interesting.

We stepped in the backside garden. It is a very spacious place with lots of rose bushes and sakura trees. I somehow feel like I am at home. Father put one arm around mother's middle and one on my elbow. Haruka is right in front of us. What… What should I do?! Should I smile? It would be awkward to smile but if I don't I will be rude. I should have gone to many parties so that I know what to do now.

The people Haruka was speaking with left after we approached them. Haruka looked at us and smiled. Mother and I made a small bow while father shook hands with him. Now is the strange moment…

"I am glad that you came," Haruka said to father.

"Thank you for the invitation," mother bowed again. Despite trying to be police her voice was somehow cold and distant.

Haruka looked at me with his garnet eyes. I can only stare back because I have no idea what to say. It is so hot… Father is practically glaring at me. A drop of sweat rested on my head. What should I do? If I could hide my head in the ground it would be wonderful! I cannot smile at all. Argh! I…I… Ummm… "Thank you for always taking care of me Haruka-sama," I bowed. 'Taking care'? He isn't a babysitter! I never asked for him to take care of me. I am the one who gave my blood to save him! Why didn't my mouth just kept shut? I kept on looking down. That was something really strange.

"Not at all." He responded back. "Please enjoy yourselves." Father grabbed my elbow once again and pulled me away from there.

"Don't speak with him from now." Father said before taking mother to greet other people.

I frowned. What did he expect anyway? This stiff character is only made up for them to be happy. It is not like I am really myself. If I could be my usual self then I could say many things. Most of them rude but… Even my way of walking is strange. I am making a fool out of myself. I want to run away…

"Juri-sama." I stopped and looked at a very beautiful woman who was making a deep bow. Ah…I know her. She is a famous model. Her face is everywhere: posters, commercials. She is frequently a guest to a famous radio station. I never expected her to be a vampire. "It is an honor to meet the pureblood princess." Here it comes. She will say lies and other useless things. "Please let me kiss your hand." Please don't! How low can you step to make me remember your face? She grabbed my hand without permission and kissed it. My stomach knotted and rolled until she backed off. She is a really low person. My face remained emotionless. I crossed my fingers in front of my belly and walked away.

There is nothing to be said. Those kinds of people don't deserve my attention at all. My hand feels gross. If it were a male I could have bear it but she was a woman. Women mustn't do such things. This is the job of a man. If even women practice it now then the society is very sad.

I stopped as I felt something even more gross. This smell of cherry flowers is making my skin shiver with sickness. I looked at my right. Some feet away Hio Shizuka was standing against an osier with a coup of red wine in her hand. I looked up proudly. So she was invited. It would have been strange to not be here. What really bothers me is the relationship between Haruka and her. Are they friends or more maybe? It wouldn't be a surprise to know that he drunk her blood. Yes, my stomach would feel sick at the image of her putting her lips on his neck. I feel like hitting her. Why did she have to be born as such a beauty? Her long and purple hair is turning heads in her direction. It is impossible for her to walk somewhere and people not to notice her. She has an interesting shade of pink in her eyes, just like the color of cherry blossoms. Kuruizaki-hime… Wherever she is cherry blossom are appearing around her. She is the only vampire who can manipulate plants. She felt my insistent stares and looked at me. She is the only vampire, pureblood, at whom I look with so much hate. Shizuka seem to be amused by this. She really makes me sick.

Hump! I turned and walked away. Next to a table filled with food I saw Saya. She was having a great time with three other men. Her easy going character and good manners are making her very popular. She can speak freely because she always has something to say. I walked away. This time I won't destroy her fun. Probably one of those men will be her food. I am the only one who refuses blood. Sometimes, staying alone in my room, I start wondering why. I am a vampire so it is natural to crave for it. What makes me decline my thirst so much? Even I don't understand myself. When I was 11 father offered me his blood for the first time. It was exciting but when I tried to bite him I realized that I didn't feel the need to feed with his blood. My fangs didn't come out. That was the only time he did that. I told him that I refuse my parent's blood. Haruka was the first person who made me thirsty. It was such a shock for me back then. I looked ahead at the small bridge that was built over a pond. An osier was bent over it; branches were flowing above the bridge and the pond.

I rested my elbows on the woody fence of the bridge. Sigh… I hate parties. There is nobody to speak with and nothing interesting to do or see. Nobody is willing to speak sincerely with me so I don't bother listening.

"I am glad you came."

I regained my weight on my feet. "I heard that you really wanted me here. Initially I didn't plan on coming." I looked into his eyes. They seem very happy. Well, his face is saying everything. Haruka is wearing a dark suite. "The suite looks very good on you, Haruka-sama." My lips formed a small smile. This is the first one since sensei left.

"Thank you." He reached my cheek with his cold fingers. I looked up at him. When did he get so close to me? I can feel his breath brushing my forehead. "Don't be so stiff around me. It makes me sad."

"Father told me to speak as politely as possible. He prefers me not to speak with you though." I shouldn't be telling him this.

He stopped smiling at me. His eyes looked all over my face. "Juri can be the way she always is. You don't need to worry about such things. It doesn't matter who is watching; you can speak as freely as you want." Haruka…you are too kind.

"Thank you for accepting me the way I am." My cheek brushed his palm. It is cold but I like it.

"You still are not yourself." He grabbed my chin to look better at my face. "Your eyes have lost their light." I looked away. He already knows me this well. "Who made you sad?"

"I…I cannot tell you that." Nobody must know my secret. A vampire in love with a human is taboo. Even Haruka won't understand.

"Then, can I help you in any way?" I shook my head. Nobody can help me. My heart is fine but I still fell empty. "I see. It really makes me sad to see you like this."

"Don't be, baka."

He smiled. "You are returning to your true self." I feel embarrassed. "How is your body?"

"Don't say it like that. Others might misunderstand what you just asked. I've recovered." My cheeks got pink. "Haruka," I said looking deep into his eyes. This is it! I cannot keep it inside me anymore. He looked at me carefully. "What kind of relationship do you have with…" I am scared to know. Her name won't even leave my lips.

He brushed away a strand of hair from my face. "With whom?" he whispered.

I've lost my power already. My usual emotionless face is showing lust now. My lips are trembling. What will I do after I know? This is not my business. If he says that they have a relationship then I will be destroyed. It doesn't matter the level of relationship. His hands surely touched her. Her blood is probably flowing through his vines. "…H…" If he keeps on looking at me I will… I bit my lower lip and looked away. "It is not that important." No… I want to know but I just cannot say it. What if I lose him the way I lost sensei? Even if I like Haruka I am not in love with him. It should be fine if we stop speaking with each other but…I don't want that. Please help me know. I shut close my eyes.

"Say it. I will answer you sincerely because I don't want to break our friendship." He brushed his cheek over mine whispering that into my ear. I feel strange after he whispered the last sentence into my ear.

That is the real problem. If he says that he has something with her right now or they had in the past I will lose it. I hate her. Haruka is my most important friend although I many times deny him. Someone who I believe that can understand me just like Saya. The first male I've ever spoke with so much, so freely. "Hio…Shizuka…" My stomach knotted. I actually said that disgusting name out laud. Haruka remained with his lips next to my ear. I kept on looking up, at the osier. How long do I have to wait until he says it? I want to know everything about you. Even your past is important for me.

"Why do you want to know?" he asked on a low voice.

I licked nervously my lips. He is just too close to me. I cannot relax at all. Just like when he drunk my blood. "I don't know. I just want to know." I really don't know why I ask. Is it really because I hate her and I don't want him near her? But… Why don't I want him next to her? The only male who I want to keep close to me and away from danger is sensei. He is the man I love deeply. I am glad that he is far from me. Wherever he is it is safer for him. My heart accepted that. It doesn't ache anymore when I think about him but my mind still wants to see him.

"She is my…" His… "…brother's fiancée."

"I know this. I want to know what is between the two of you."

"I drank her blood once." I knew it! Her disgusting blood is flowing through his vines!

"When?" Don't! I don't need to know anymore. It is already over between us! _Between the two of you? You two have only a friendship relation._ I blinked. Ahh…that is right. We are only friends. It shouldn't bother me at all.

"Four years ago. Before I met you."

It is time to return to my real self. _This one isn't your real self?_ Shut up. "It doesn't really matter when. I find her disgusting and I cannot bear to look at her. It is a shame to know that the two of you have such a past together. I wanted to be your friend a little longer." My voice is cold just like my face.

He backed off to look at my face. There is nothing to be read on it. He cannot say what I think anymore. "So that was it. I was thinking of something else…" He reached my cheek with his fingers but I smacked it.

"Don't touch me so freely." I took some stapes away from him. You only have to stay away from me. I cannot believe that you did such a thing with that woman. But you lived for such a long life. I am sure that in your body flows blood from many women. I am not jealous as I am angry. I only lived for 17 years and never touched a man's neck. Sensei was the first person I ever kissed.

"You also did unforgivable things." My heart skipped a beat but I didn't let him see it. What does he know? Fear appeared on my face. Don't tell me. Please don't tell the he... read my mind… He…about sensei… "A human will never be able to spend an eternity with you." It was as if my heart was impaled.

"You looked into my heart…"

"I did not such thing. Your blood told me everything while I was drinking it." He touched his lips. The atmosphere is getting cold. Haruka has a bitter voice but what scares me the most is his face. That nice smile that he always shows is nowhere to be found. I see no light into his eyes. It remembers me of when we fought that pureblood last year. Haruka looked the same. "While drinking somebody's blood you either take a memory, feelings or a little bit of that person's power. I happened to take some of your feelings. That man's face appeared so clear inside my mind."

I must calm down. Like this I will only lose to him. "I can do whatever I want, Haruka-sama. If my heart wants a human then so be it." I am starting to look powerful in front of him. "If you do anything to him then I will be your opponent."

"I understand. You will fight me although your body still screams in pain?"

It is true that I sometimes feel pain but that is nothing new. Since four years ago I began to have heart problems. Because I don't drink real blood my body is slowly breaking down. When he drank so much of my blood I was almost finished. Even know I find breathing difficult but it is better than before. I consider myself as being healthy. "I will because I know you won't back off and just kill me." Like this I won't have to live in a world where sensei doesn't exist anymore. "But Haruka-sama, how much do you know about this thing?"

He kept on glaring at me with unforgiving eyes. I am not really scared but I do feel inferior. Haruka isn't the kind man I used to think he is. I really made him hate me now. "Don't put honorifics to my name. I told you that some minutes ago." He tried to reach my cheek again. I really wanted to take one step back but his eyes just won't let me move. It was my mistake to look into his eyes for so long. "That man dared to touch a pureblood so freely with his dirty lips." He slipped his little finger over my red lips. The wind is the only thing that can make my dress and hair move. I have no power to do that. "My eyes have been looking after you since I found out about him." I want to open my mouth to say something. "He is out of your life but you give me the feeling that you want to go after him. I cannot allow you to do that."

My lips finally parted to let me speak. "I don't. Because I love sensei I won't go near him." He frowned when he heard me say the word 'love'. It was as if I just hit him very hard.

"Then I will ask you blood."

"Don't! I have nothing to prove to you. It is my business what I do!" I was many times rude to him but never like now.

His eyes got red as he bent to my neck. Don't! He undid the ribbon. I closed my eyes when he pierced me. It hurts. Why are you doing this Haruka? You were supposed to be a kind man whom I can trust but you actually control me. This really changes things. I cannot think of you the same anymore. He swallowed my blood. I feel my body getting weak again. He knows that losing blood is not good for me but he stills does it. After one swallow he retreated from my neck. The holes are still there. They hurt.

"I am glad that you were not lying to me," he said showing again a kind face and eyes. I am speechless. "The thought of losing you is unbearable." He hugged me careful. Why is this happening tonight? His lips touched my wounded neck again. I began to pant. He is healing my wounds. Haaaa. It feels so good. Even my heart stopped aching.

"Just who are you, Haruka-sa…" No. "Haruka."

"I am a kind person but I hate people who lie. Loving a human is against the law. If people close to me step over the law it hurts to punish them. I had to punish you for loving and having intimate touches with a human."

"Drinking my blood is a punishment?" I asked amused.

"Normally no but for you it is. You have a weak body because you refuse to drink blood. It is painful for you to lose any. Even one drop causes you pain."

I grinned. "You like seeing people in pain, right?" Things are turning back to normal. As a vampire it is normal to have many faces. Haruka is always kind. That is his true face but the one in which he is cold and forceful is also part of him. He really is a person hard to read and understand.

"I never wanted to see you suffer." My body can move again. I clenched his jacket and leaned my head over his shoulder. Even after what happened Haruka is important for me.

"Don't let that woman get close to you."

"I know but I cannot be rude to her. She is still part of the family."

"She isn't and she will never be. Rido won't marry her."

"Juri…" he whispered into my ear again. "Although I healed you for now in the future your body will crack again. Drink my blood."

"Thank you but I will have to refuse. It is my business the way I treat my body."


	7. Chapter 7

"So he knows." Saya bit a pocky. "It was normal since he drank you blood."

"Yeah but…" The air was still cold after we calmed down. Although Haruka was right into my clasp I felt like he was far away. He didn't look into my eyes after that. I felt like I hurt him. It was so strange. His arms were so tight around my back but it was as if he wasn't really there. He was thinking of something else. "…he seemed hurt."

"Of course he was hurt. His precious girl was in other man's hands. Her lips touched another's lips before he even had a chance to."

"Saya, this isn't a romantic novel. The reason he was hurt has nothing to do with another male." I shook my head as I closed the magazine. She is thinking too much about this.

"You really are an idiot." I glared at her. "Himika sent me a letter saying that she will get married this year."

Why did she change the subject all of the sudden? After calling me an idiot it is even ruder to leave things like that. "I know. I also received one yesterday. It was a shock. I didn't know that she has a boyfriend."

She bit another pocky. "That is because she doesn't. Her father persuaded her to marry with the son of his distant cousin. It seems that her father and that boy's father are partners in something." I looked over the window. "I know what you think." I smiled a little. How can she read me when I have a poker face? "'Maybe my father also arranged something like that for me.' Don't worry about it. Since he didn't say it yet then there is no man."

I grabbed a strand of hair and began to play with it. The man with whom I will marry… I have nobody to marry with although I am almost 18 soon. Besides Haruka I don't know other males. There are no men which I can believe so I don't even try finding one. Maybe I should search for a pureblood around my age. Father won't let me choose a noble for sure. As long as there are free purebloods then I must choose one. "What about you?"

"I already declined two men. Currently I know nobody worth me." She says so easily things that look difficult. Usually I cannot say it like that. I need time to think about it, get used to the idea and then speak. If not I will lose my poker face.

"Maybe we should go to blind dates."

In one second she was next to me. Her eyes are sparkling. "That is right Juri. We are young so it is ok to fool around!" she clenched victorious her fist. I didn't mean it 'that' way. Saya is reading too much in what I said.

"I didn't mean it like that…"

"Let's see what men are worthy of us."

"Um…Saya?"

"We will make them pay for us, make crazy sex then leave!" She is not listening. Her mind is already far away from me.

I got up from my seat and walked away. She was so busy to speak about her intentions that she didn't even notice me walking away. The corridor is empty just like the day sensei left. It has been one week since then. I was sure that I will give up on school but in the end I just couldn't. In the past days I've been thinking about what happened between Haruka and me. He drank my blood for the second time. I forgot to ask if my blood is really that tasty. That night, at the party, people approached me and grinned at me like I was some kind of delicious food. It was so disgusting watching them. I left early because of that. Haruka seemed sad for some reason but then again I never understand that person. Until then he was always kind and when he found out about my feelings for sensei he became dull. It was difficult to look at him. His voice was harsh and the way he forced himself on me to drink my blood made me really angry. I think that things have changed between us.

Walking on the same corridor as I used to with sensei is not hurting me anymore. Maybe my feelings for sensei were never strong. I was myself from the first night. 'I love you' and 'take me with you' were said without real feelings. Maybe sensei knew it and that is why he kissed me. He was sure that I won't suffer that long after him. His smell is no longer here. Sensei walked ahead to a new future while I remained here, in the same place. But is there really a place for me to go to? Outside this building there is nobody waiting for me. I walked sheepishly to the school gate. In front of me is nothing waiting. No smile will be made only for me. I turned to the right and stopped. This body structure… With hesitation I looked up. "A smile only for me…" I whispered.

"I have come to pick you up."

"Haruka…" I am more shocked than surprised. Haruka really came to my school, during day. The sun is so bright yet he waited for me outside the car. My heart is beating with happiness. Thank you. I was thinking that nobody will ever be in front of me to give me a hand when I fall. "Are you an idiot?" Wrong! I didn't want to say that! "It is still day so why are you out of your bed!" Hump! I walked past him. "Don't show in front of my school without being invited. It is rude." Why only around this person I can really be myself? It is so hard to create a perfect Juri when he looks at me. I fail all the time. Why?

He grabbed my elbow and pulled me back. Is he nuts? Before I knew it he already pushed me inside and closed the door after he entered. I remained petrified on the seat. He took a position of a gentleman and stayed calm there. Why is this bastard always showing when I have a hard time? He only makes things even worse! It would have been better to know that there is actually nobody to help me in need. "This is called kidnapping, idiot! Let me out!" He reached the belt from my right. I closed my eyes. He is right above me. My heart beats so fast. What is he going to do with me?!

The car is driving at a safe speed. I stayed near the door looking skeptical from him to the driver. When Haruka does something I can never guess what will happen. He is calm and seems to not pay attention to me but I bet he thinks about something. "Where are you taking me?" I finally asked. He closed his eyes. So you won't answer me. How can he call himself a gentleman?

"A friend of mine opened a restaurant yesterday and I promised to go there. Because I don't want to stay and eat alone I invited you with me."

Invited?! "You did not such a thing! Without saying a word you pushed me in here."

He looked at me with his gentle eyes and smiled. "I am sorry. I forgot to ask." My mouth opened as I watched him. Is he really smiling at me? Can't he read the atmosphere? I am practically boiling here. "Do you want to come with me?"

"Like hell I do!" I shouted and looked fast at the window. I was too close so my nose and forehead hit it. Auch! "Hurts…" I whispered in pain. This is more than embarrassing. I should have stayed in class with Saya and listened to her imagination. It would have been safer for me.

The day is so bright… Summer is close. Soon the school will be over and for three months I will be able to live like a normal vampire. Actually this summer I want to do more than sleeping, reading and occasionally going to parties. I want to make a boyfriend. It doesn't matter who he is as long as I can spend time with him. We can hold hands, laugh and feed each other. I want to share a kiss with that person and eventually fall in love with him. I want to do all of these things with him. Himika is getting married probably this summer. I want to have a partner at her wedding. If not then I will find myself a man there. Anything but to do something about the emptiness in my heart.

The car stopped at a semaphore. My eyes got fixed on a couple walking while holding hands. Humans can so easily find a partner. They are all the same unlike us. From my point of view it is easier to date a human than a vampire. I've heard of such relationship before. Women have relationship with humans for a couple of years then disappear from their lives. I don't know what they win from this but at least they are happy. Aristocrats do such things with humans. Their hearts will never find real love but at least there is food right next to them. While the partner is sleeping it is easy to drink their blood. They can also control them. When they get bored they erase that man's memory of them and disappear. Purebloods like me cannot just do that. If we bit a human he will eventually become a level E.

"What are you thinking of?" Haruka asked.

I kept on looking on the window. "None of your business. Where is this restaurant?"

"We are here." I looked on his side. Finally I can get out of this small place.

We stepped inside the restaurant. There are so many humans eating. "Your friend is human?" I asked looking around at the fancy looking women and men. They are speaking so loud.

"No. During day it is open for humans and during night for both humans and vampires." Haruka explained gently.

I nodded. "It is a good way to become wealthy." Though I said that, his friend is probably a noble so he has to be pretty rich.

"Kind of." He stopped in front of a very nicely arranged table. The roses are fresh and the table cloth has a different color from the others. It is of a very nice red. Haruka pulled the chair and waited for me to sit.

"I can do it myself." I said coldly but still sat. He pushed the chair closer to the table then took off his long coat and put it on an empty chair before sitting. All the people from here are so well dressed. Even Haruka looks nice. "I look out of the place in my high school uniform." I covered my face with the palms.

"I wanted to go tonight but I remembered that you don't want others from your home to know that we have a close relationship. You didn't give me your phone number and I think that you would have rejected me. I had to take you like that." So that is why he isn't sleeping at such an hour. He really wanted to bring me here and couldn't find another way. "Should I send somebody to buy you a dress?"

"I don't care what others think. They are only mare humans. I was just saying that it is strange for a high scholar to be here." I grabbed the menu and looked in it. I am not particularly hungry so nothing seems appealing to me: chicken, fish… I really don't want to eat.

"Is there something you cannot eat?"

"Only lamb meat."

"I see. Then can I order for both of us?"

"Since you pay go ahead." I closed the menu and rested my back over the chair. This chair is really comfortable. I like it here but… my eyes examined Haruka. Is he fine? There are so many humans with pretty nice smells and outside is still very bright. For many vampires it is very difficult to stay surrounded by humans and not to say that the sun is burning their skin. He doesn't have burns and the sun doesn't seem to bother him in anyway.

"We will have meal B and red wine." He said to the waiter.

I looked annoyed at Haruka. "It would have been nice if you could have asked for some water."

"Don't tell me that you never drank wine before," he said amused.

"Of course I did. When mother is gone I consort father." I rested my chin on the palm.

"Then there is no problem in drinking one glass." He also put his chin on his palm. I really can never stay angry on this man. He made me shiver for some seconds at his party and even made me angry but now I am fine. I almost forgot about it. I wonder why.

"I really don't know what to think about you." I looked away.

"What is hard to understand?"

"You are so nice towards me. Even though I committed the sin of falling in love with a human and share a kiss with him. You kept it away from others and gave me such a light punishment. Though you were so scary I still stay this relaxed around you. It is almost terrifying…" Bangs covered my eyes. It is so strange that I stay this calm around this man after he drunk my blood until I passed out. He shown me so scary eyes and let me hear such a rough voice.

"That is because I cannot really hurt the hand that fed me. It has been too long since the last time I drank blood and I couldn't control myself. Because of that you began to have health problems." So he still feels bad about what happened back then.

"I've told you already to stop that. I have no regrets about it. Even if my body is weaker I am still happy that I could do something for you. Even if it is an insignificant thing I would do it. That is the only thing I can really do."

The waiter brought us the wine. We stayed in silence while he opened the bottle and poured us some wine. I am not lying when I say that I have no regrets. Haruka grabbed his glass of wine and waited for me to do the same. Somehow I feel nervous. I grabbed my glass and we toasted. This is the first time I drink with someone other than my father. My lips touched the red drink. I was never a fan of red wine. The taste is bitter.

"Until I was 13 my father kept me inside our house. Although I had a beautiful garden I was not allowed to play in it. There was really nothing for me to do other than readying, studding and playing with the maids. We live in a rough society so it was hard to make friends once I stepped outside." I looked at him. He seems to pity me. "What I want to say is that for 13 years I had nothing until I made two friends. For 16 years I've done nothing for anyone so I am happy that I could help you." I bit my lower lip. I feel so nervous… "When I did that I felt like: 'Ah, somebody needs me.' It felt so good." My cheeks are flushed. Haruka is the first person to need me. "That is why I always wanted to say thank you." It was hard to say it so I am glad that I finally did it.

"Don't thank me. You did many things for me although you don't realize it." I looked surprised at him. I did…many things for him? My heart is beating so fast. All my memories of the two of us remind me of how rude I was with you. "Don't say anything." I swallowed harshly. He made space on the table when the food came.

I grabbed my fork and knife and looked at the yummy starters: toast with mozzarella and mushrooms. I licked my lips as I carefully cut it. The smell is making my mouth wet. I filled my mouth with the interesting food. "This is too good," I said while chewing. If my father saw me with so much food in my mouth and speaking while eating he would go mad. The Kuran master is right in front of me and I show so bad manners. But Haruka told me to be myself.

"I am glad that you like it. Eat as much as you can." I nodded although I wasn't listening to him. My mind can only think of how delicious this food is. I've went to many restaurants with father or Saya but this is simply the best. I should meet the chef.

I put the fork and knife down and panted my belly. Ah…I am so happy. This is the first time I feel accomplished by only eating something. The waiter took my plate and put another one filled with food: chicken bust above fried potatoes and carrots with butter. Gulp! This is really the best day of my life! I took excited one bit of the meat. Oh God, I am so glad that Haruka took me by force. This food is so yummy. I filled my mouth once again without carrying what Haruka might think of this. It is extremely rude to eat like this in front of somebody, I know, but I cannot contain myself from it. "We have desert?" I asked excited.

"Of course."

My body is surrounded by hearts. I wander what is the desert. It has to be something phenomenal. I wiped my mouth with a tissue and put it in the plate. I just had to eat everything. My heart would have hurt very much if there were to remain food uneaten. I looked over the table at Haruka. He looks at me and seems to enjoy himself. "This is the first time you see a woman eating this much, right?" I tried to guess his mind. He shook his head. "'This woman is like a man', right?" He once again shook his head. A drop of sweat travelled my forehead. "She is just a child…" He smiled wildly and nodded. A nerve twitched on my forehead. "Sorry for being like a child," I growled. And here I was enjoying myself.

"Haruka, you came." A man came to our table. My mouth fell open when I saw his doll like face. His beautiful black hair is shining in the light like it is some kind of gem. Those eyes are like fresh grass. The food is nothing compared to him.

Haruka got up from his chair and shook hands with the man. I am only looking 'cause words just won't come out. This is the first time when I see a vampire that shines like this. No… Saya is the same. There is no black aura around them no matter how I look. Gulp! The man kept on smiling while talking with Haruka. "This is my partner, Juri…" I blinked as Haruka said my name. I also got up from my chair and made a small, silent bow.

The stranger smiled wider and also made a bow. "Nice to meet you. I am Ryu Ichijo." He reached up his hand. I parted my lips and looked at it. He wants to friendly shake hands with me? This is the first time a noble wants to shake hands without asking for anything. He doesn't seem the kind who does it for something. In my eyes he looks very pure.

With confidence I grabbed his hand. "The same." I forced a smile on my lips. It is really hard for me to smile like he does. I am envious of him, Saya or Haruka. They can freely show their emotions but I need so much power to even speak what I really think before strangers.

The waiter came with deserts. "Oh, I am sorry. I didn't realize that you were still eating. Please seat." He let go of my hand and pulled the chair for me to sit. I don't know why but I nodded. There was no need to do that but like an idiot it did. Ryu-san pushed my chair under the table and walked to sit on an empty one. The waiter put the desert in front of me and walked away. I looked over the table at Haruka.

"Haruka, do you hate sweet things?" I thought that he also wanted desert.

"I cannot eat anymore." He smiled at me then looked back at his friend. Haruka has a real friend. Why does he need me for? I looked at my tiramisu. It really looks yummy but I feel bad now. Unlike him I ate everything from my plate and now I am about to eat desert. For the first time I feel like a real child.

"I am sorry that my father gives you so many troubles. He doesn't know when to give up," Ryu-san apologized.

"Don't worry about it." Haruka smiled and took a sip of wine.

Father… I am sure that his mane is Ichijo. There is this Asato Ichijo that father spoke about once. I don't really remember but he was pissed by him. He did something that made father so angry that he almost smashed the house. If mother wasn't home to stop him I don't know what would have happened to our house and with me. I blinked and to my surprised I realized that I was insistently staring at Ryu-san. Ryu-san on the other hand felt very uncomfortable under my stare. Haruka was extremely pissed for some reason. I forced a smiled on my face. "I am sorry. When you said your name and then father I just happened to remember my father speaking about someone with the same family name. I didn't realize that I was staring at you." I looked in some other direction and took one sip of wine out of embarrassment.

Haruka and Ryu-san once again began to speak about politics and Senate so I only stood there, doing nothing. Since the tiramisu is right in front of me I can take one bite. Nobody will care anyway. Umm, the taste is phenomenal. The chef from here is a genius. After Ryu-san finish speaking with Haruka I will ask him. It is impossible to forget. Maybe I should come with Saya here. She also loves sweet things. Maybe we can… Ah. "Ryu-san, do you have a girlfriend?" I asked serious all of the sudden. He was still speaking with Haruka when I asked. For the first time since we met I actually took off my poker face without really wanting to.

He is shocked by my sudden question. We only met some minutes ago and I ask something like this. He looked at Haruka for a second before answering. He somehow looks small. "No…"

I smiled and nodded wildly. "Really?! Oh, I am so happy." I grabbed his hand with both of mine and pulled it to my chest. "Then do you mind if I come tomorrow as well?"

"No…Not at all." I release his hand and he was up on his feet in one second. I looked surprised at his sudden reaction. "Then I will excuse myself." He made a small bow and walked fast away.

"Did I say something to make him go away?" I asked looking at Haruka. My lips parted as I found something even more surprising. Haruka was looking at his wine with sad eyes. It feels like I am doing something bad without realizing it.

Haruka didn't respond. He only looked at his drink. My stomach knotted. Ryu-san also walked away after I opened my mouth and now Haruka is mad at me. Maybe I should always stay like a doll. I ate some more tiramisu. Out of the sudden it is very sweet. Sweet… I took with my spoon some tiramisu and reached Haruka's mouth. "Try it." I said. Sweet things make people happy in any situation. Haruka looked at me and with hesitation he opened his mouth. I leaned a little more to his mouth. He chewed it in silence. "Is it good?" He nodded in silence. We remained in silence. Why is it like this? "How old is Ryu-san?" The atmosphere got colder.

"103."

"I see." What a short answer. "Does he like young girls?" The liquid from my glass became ice. My eyes got small as I looked at a really annoyed Haruka. The glass became shards. My heart skipped a beat.

"Why do you need to know that?" he asked bitterly.

My face got blue. Now this is a scary Haruka that I don't want to face. What have I done to wake up that monster? He is getting annoyed with each second flies by. "I have this friend of mine who I think that would look nice next to him. As a lover a mean…" The air returned to normal. Haruka smiled brilliantly at me again. My face is still blue. What is going on here?

"You can try." His voice returned back to normal. "Should we go?" I nodded and in a second I was up. This has to end right now. Something is strange here and I really cannot say what. He always does things that I don't understand but today he just left me speechless. As I said and before, this man is making me do bad things.

We walked outside the restaurant. The sun is not as strong as when we entered and the wind is slowly blowing. It is a nice day to eat ice cream and stay on a bench. Maybe I should go home by foot. But before that I need to ask something. "Haruka." He stopped in front of the car and turned to face me. I remained some feet away from him. "Why did you bring me here? From what I can tell the owner is a very close friend of yours. You could have had dinner with him."

"You don't know?" he asked playfully. My lips parted as I walked closer to him.

"I don't know, please tell me."

"I really wanted to take you here so early because I happened to hear your father saying that you were born during the day. It is unusual, actually I have never heard of a vampire to be born while the sun is still bright." Ah, today is… He grabbed my hand and pulled it to his lips. "Happy birthday, Juri," he said and kissed it.

That is right… Today is my birthday. This is the first time I cannot remember when my birthday is. I always wait for it so eagerly because I know that I am one year older. Since long ago I wait to become independent and do whatever I want. Today that day came. According to the vampire law I am an adult and I am responsible for what I do. I smiled brightly at him. Although I never told you, you knew.

"Your family is hosting a party tonight but I cannot come. Since I cannot think of anything that you would like as a present I thought that I can at least take you out for lunch."

"Thank you. Actually I forgot it myself that today is my birthday." It is sad to know that I won't be seeing you tonight. He opened the door to his car. There will be many more days in which I can eat an ice cream and enjoy the breeze. Today I will stay with him as much as possible. Who knows when we will meet again?

I stepped inside and waited for Haruka to do the same. When I get home I need to inform myself about his birthday. "That is why you allowed me to drink red wine." Usually adults don't tolerate such things. Even if he is always nice that doesn't mean that I can do whatever I want. But now I am an adult so I can drink as much wine as I want. I looked at him from the corner of my eye. He was giving me an obvious smile. Sigh… This man is sure hard to understand. "Blue roses."

"Excuse me?"

"The best present in the world are blue roses." They are my special flowers.

"I see. You love flowers more than objects."

"No. I love only blue roses. You see I…" I looked at my trembling hands. "I love the sun light. My body doesn't suffer when I look at the sun. I can live with humans without craving for their blood and I don't feel the need to taste real blood. All of these make me a strange vampire, almost like a human. But my hands cannot touch flowers because they will fade away." Ever since I was young I had this problem. When my fingers touch them they die. It is sad how harsh life is with me. This is a punishment for being different. I really don't resemble a vampire no matter how one looks at me.

Haruka put his hand over mine. "I like the way you are." His words are patting my heart. Haruka, you are also a very different person. Although you sometimes lose your calm I can never think of you as being impatient.

"I don't need to hide what I am, right?" I smiled back at him.

"Never."

I don't know why but my heart beats very fast right now.


	8. Chapter 8

Saya was impressed by the restaurant. The atmosphere made her feel relaxed while walking among humans. In only two days since the last time I came here this place became crowded. I knew that she will like it here since there are no disgusting vampires. Since we began high school with human girls she kind of changed her mind about humans. Not all of them are mean. There are some whom we can trust. Although we would never tell them what we really are. Humans should never know about things they don't understand. They will only get scared and do bad things.

We sat at a table next to the window. I feel so happy to come back to the same place Haruka and I ate. This place is very nice no matter how many times I come. I took the menu and looked at the deserts. We came here only for that since it is already 10 PM and we have eaten at home. I told her at my birthday party how much I liked the food and the owner. She wasn't interested in the owner but I still insisted that she should meet him. Ryu-san was such a lovely host during the short time he stayed with us..

Saya bit her lower lip while looking at the pages. Her finger kept on playing with a curly strand of hair. A drop of sweat rested on my head. Does she even realize how insistent men – both vampires and humans – look at her? This little bitch is starting to annoy me.

"'This little bitch is starting to annoy me,' right?"

I looked back at my menu. She really annoys me. At least Haruka won't look at her. He doesn't seem the kind to do that. Aham… I know nothing about his personal life and I am not that interested. He can like her if he wants….

"What did you eat the last time?" she asked not that impressed by the menu.

"Tiramisu. It was just too delicious." She nodded then closed the menu. I wouldn't be surprised to hear her saying: 'this place is boring let's go'. Saya will always be Saya…

"Then I will have a cappuccino and tiramisu," Saya said simply to the waitress.

She is just too cold. This is why women hate her this much. She is aware of her beauty and uses it all the time. Her way of thinking that she is superior is just terrifying. I cleared my throat. "Then I will have a latte and pudding." The waitress took our menus and left. "Saya, it wouldn't kill you to speak nicer to her."

"She is an annoying human." Maybe it was my mistake to think that she has changed. "The owned actually hired a human."

"So? Who cares?" Even if they are human, that doesn't mean that they cannot do a good job. I would never think that way. The boy that served me two days ago was also a human and he seemed nice. But this is my personal opinion. I know that humans and vampires cannot live together.

"Ignore me."

"I want to ignore you but there is nobody else to speak with." I rested my elbows on the table and looked around us. The owner sure is a pacifist who believes that humans and vampires could be friends. Probably this was his idea of gathering them together and hopping that nothing bad will happen. Something to keep them close. "Ryu-san is not here?" I was hoping to introduce Saya to him.

"Look Juri, I am not interested," she rolled her eyes.

"I know but I still want you to meet him." I got up from my chair. "I will be back in a minute." I waved my hands and she sighed. Haha. Once I decide something I do according to the plan. She will never regret it. I bet she will even thank me.

Now I feel better walking among others. The first time I came here I was wearing my uniform but now I wear a blue dress without sleeves. It falls freely around my thighs. Now is an honor to walk in this restaurant. I looked all around the room for the doll face owner but he is nowhere to be found.

"Is Ryu-san here?" I asked one of the waitresses. She looked at me startled. Her eyes kept on looking all over me as she was blushing.

"The owner is in the kitchen. Right there," she pointed to a large door. I nodded and walked in the pointed direction.

I shyly opened the door and crept in my head. Waaah! This place is so spacious and smells so yummy. It is my first time in a restaurant kitchen. Here are so many chefs that work so hard to make their food taste and look delicious. Coyly I stepped inside, letting the door close behind me. Suddenly I feel embarrassed for walking freely around here. Isn't it kind of rude to just enter here? I am a guest and I don't even know Ryu-san that well. The first time he got scared for some reason and walked away. Something that I said made him feel really bad. I should apologize when I see him. The chefs looked questionable at me but since most of them are vampires they realized I am a pureblood and said nothing. Near another big door Ryu-san was drinking something red and speaking with another chef. I smiled and walked in his direction. "RYU-SAN!" I shouted as I waved my palm. As soon as I got near them I grabbed his arm and pushed myself to his chest. "Good evening."

He is startled. Somehow his face is turning blue. "Good… evening Juri -san."

"Ah, don't be like this," I hit his shoulder with my free palm. "Just call me Juri like Haruka does."

"Yeah… Haruka will really kill me this time."

"Haha. Haruka wouldn't do such a thing." I pressed my cheek on his chest.

He put his wine on the table and shook his head to the chef to leave. "You came to eat?"

"Only desert. Actually I wanted to apologize." I stepped back and made a deep bow. "The last time you walked away out of the sudden. It was probably because of something that I said." I hate making others hate me..

"No, no, don't apologize." He grabbed my shoulders. "Juri did nothing wrong back then. I just didn't want to interfere with you two anymore. I should be apologizing." He smiled back at me.

My cheeks got pink. As I expected: Ryu-san can be a friend. "I want to be friends with you. I really like Ryu-san so I…"

He raised his hand and cut me off. I looked surprised at him. "Juri, you look like a very sweet girl but I cannot do this. Even Haruka won't forgive me for stealing something that he wants very much. I am sorry as I friend of both of you I have to decline."

 _'_ _For stealing something that he wants very much.'_ I am something that Haruka wants that much? "You aren't stealing me. Haruka is a special friend of mine and I want to also be friends with you. You cannot accept me because I am barely 18?" I looked sadly away. What does that mean? Haruka wants me very much… It is strange because he already has me as his friend. I am his and I will never betray him. It was difficult but in the end I managed to say the right words to keep him close to me.

"Of course not. Age has nothing to do with this. I just don't want to make Haruka sad. For me he is an important friend whom I wish to protect very much." He put his fingers under my chin and pulled it so I can look into his eyes. "You are an important existence for him. Something that he never before had."

I looked at him with teary eyes. "Ryu-san, I really like you. Until now I only met people who wanted to get close to me for my blood. They never wanted to help me." He looks so much like Saya. "When I got to know Haruka a little better, I thought that he is a pitiful person. I am glad to know that he actually had a friend before me whom he could trust. I want to see Haruka smiling all the time." For me his smiles are like gems. They make me feel beautiful and rich. With my past and few friends I was happy to get close to him. Haruka was saying words meant only for me. He smiled only for me.

"I am also glad the he met you. But you sure act differently with him…"

"I came with a friend here," I said brushing off his statement. "She is very beautiful and has a good heart although she may look cold. I was hoping that you would like to meet her." I pocked his chest. It shouldn't be embarrassing yet I feel this ashamed. I practically dragged Saya here to meet him.

"Sure."

We walked outside the kitchen. My curiosity about the chef can wait a little longer. Ryu-san kept his hand on my shoulder the entire time. It is different from those times in which sensei was holding me. I feel relaxed. Maybe that is because I don't think about him in that way. I only want to be friends with him.

Saya was annoyed. It has been more than ten minutes since I left. I told her that I will be back fast but she even finished her tiramisu since I left. At least she liked it. I looked over my shoulder at Ryu-san. He was not thinking about the person I was taking him to. His eyes were all over the room. We stopped in front of the table. Saya was about to cut my head off until she saw the man behind me. Unfortunately he was not paying attention to her. He was only looking around the room.

Her mouth was wide open as she saw how perfectly structured he was. A beautiful man, with green eyes like hers. She was looking after such a man for so long but she never met one. All the men her father brought as her fiancées were no good for her. I knew all of this so I insisted that she should meet him. Although, she did say to stop trying it since I have no idea what a real man should be like. She licked her dry lips and stood up.

I looked over my shoulder at Ryu-san. He has no idea what impression he just made. I hit his belly with my elbow to make him look at her. "Ryu-san, this is my friend Saya."

He let go of my hand and smiled at her. "Nice to meet you. I am Ichijo Ryu." Both of them made a small bow.

"Since you have nothing to do just stay with us for a while. After I eat I have to be home so I will let Saya in your hands." I took a sit and looked at the delicious pudding. It looks so yummy that I think of eating it from one swallow. Ryu-san raised an eyebrow before sitting with us. He… I looked at him and at the way he was answering her questions. He isn't impressed at all. I thought that there was no man who wouldn't be impressed by her looks.

I ate very fast my dessert. It is a shame not to be able to really enjoy the taste but I really want to let them be alone. She is trying her best to smile and attract his attention but from time to time he would look at me. He was smiling and amusing himself with my way of eating. On the other part of the table Saya was burning out with jealousy. To think that this day would actually came… Until not too long I was the one clenching my teeth out of anger but I am glad that things have changed now.

"Well then, I will be leaving now." I grabbed my purse and stood up.

Ryu-san was in a second on his feet. He should have never bothered to help me. Once again he put his hand on my elbow. Saya's eye twitched. Gulp. Stop doing things that might kill me. I smiled nervously. "Don't you want me to take you home?" What about Saya? Isn't she also here?

"No. I have a car waiting for me outside." She is looking, she is looking. The room is almost turning into stone. "If you happen to meet Haruka any time soon say hello to him for me."

"I will." Somehow I find leaving very difficult but if I don't go now who knows what she will do. She is Medusa after all.

"Sorry for leaving like this Saya. See you." I waved my palm and made a last bow to Ryu-san. He smiled and waved his palm until I turned and walked to the exit.

Now, let's see what will happen between the two of them. From what I see he isn't interested in her. I could say that he has no interest in me aside from trying to take care of me in Haruka's place. In the kitchen he clearly said that we won't be more than friends but he still kept on touching my elbow or look at me.

Summer is already here. Time flies so fast since I got outside that black and big house. That was my world. I don't think too much about time. As a vampire it is useless to think over unpredictable things. I covered my nose. This smell is so bitter that it makes me sick. I walked past the car and restaurant. At this hour the streets are still crowded. Since the summer holiday started teenagers walk until late outside. They have no idea that the enemy is walking among them. Even I represent danger.

I liked my lips as I stepped on a very narrow alley. This place is so dirty that it makes me sick. How can people live in such conditions? They really don't care about such things? My heels seem to know where to go. I only need to reach my target. The smell is getting stronger with each step. "You have no idea how disgusting you are." I stopped in front of a level E. He was staying on the ground with a teen girl in his grip. He already drank too much blood from her. She has no way to recover. The level E let go of her and began to tremble.

"Please…" he covered his face with his palms. Please what? You disgusting thing that hurts others. It is our fault that you are like this but it is your fault for doing what you do. His body started to burn. He began to scream in pain. "Gah!" I could have killed you right away but that wouldn't have been interesting at all. Not even ashes remained.

I looked back at the child. Blood is still flowing out of her neck but she cannot be saved. Humans should never get close to us. Our eyes will control them until the day they die. "You have done nothing wrong and I pity your parents but I will have to make you disappear from this world." Nobody will ever find you. Please become ashes. Her body began to crack like a china doll. She feels no pain. Her soul is already trying to break free from the destroyed body. She became ashes. Wind dispersed it all around the place. It is not my fault that things turned out like this. I cannot allow humans to see those marks from her neck. They will know that vampires did it.

I walked back to the car. Although I am close to humans I don't feel the need to protect them. Sensei was the one and only human for whom I would have done anything. For him even now I would do anything.

"Your friend is getting married this year." Father put down his papers and motioned me to sit in front of him. As soon as I stepped inside the house the maid told me that father is waiting for me in his office. Somehow I knew that something big is about to happen. He rarely calls me in his office and most of the time it is to say something not too good. Since we have hardly met these days it has to be very important. I sat on the garnet chair. So this is the problem. He received an invitation from her father.

"Yes. She will probably do it this summer." In front of father I always feel like having a poker face. He is older than Haruka by many years and has more experience with people. Of course he knows how to read me. Every move I make he sees it and reads it.

"I see." He looked at me with a strong glare. I smiled kindly at him. He is thinking about something. "You have changed. No, you are showing your true face." I nodded and looked down. I am trying my best but it is difficult in front of him. Father always wants me to be perfect. I cannot be like that since there is no thing such as a perfect person. "I guess that I should announce your engagement as well." My feet got cold as I heard him.

"Engagement… With whom?" I practically don't want to know. I knew that father has many things prepared for me but this is just too much.

"With a pureblood, of course."

"I was hoping to choose my husband when the time comes." I don't even want to think about it. A stranger putting his hands all over me sounds disgusting. I bit my lower lip. For a reason I remember the day Haruka hold me in his hands. I was weak because of the loss of blood and he supported me kindly. Why do I remember such a moment?

"You are beautiful my child, but there are even more beautiful women. The man that was killed by Haruka-kun was supposed to be your future husband. Since things are like this I need to think carefully over things." I am shocked. That man…I cannot even remember his name. How did he look like? I knew nothing about it. That man didn't say a word back then so I assumed that we had no connections. I never expected such an answer. That traitor, that monster was supposed to touch my skin, drink my blood and sleep with me. I feel sick.

"Father, please, don't. I will find myself a husband. This is the only thing that I won't let you decide for me." I said promptly. This time I won't be like a doll. If father wants to do such things then I will have to fight him. Only this time I will live my life according to my laws. "There are still many things that I want to do before getting married. I want to have unsuccessful relationships and fights with boyfriends. We are vampires and live long lives. I cannot imagine getting married at the beginning of my life. I will have to refuse you."

"Your friend surely wanted the same things but she didn't go against her father." His eyes are cold like ice. My first time confronting him. Of course he is boiling right now.

"Father, please allow me to go against your words. I won't marry anyone you choose." I got up from my chair and looked back at my angry father. "I am rude right now but please try to understand and forgive me."

"Forgiveness? You deserve belted over that mouth of yours Juri."

I love father more than anything in the world. He did many good things for me although I was against them in the beginning. I said nothing and always waited for him to order me. In my room I would start crying my heart out but I never said anything against him. Father is the only one I want to listen until the end. But this time is different. This time I won't let him do what he wants with me. Now I know that an arranged marriage means many tears and a destroyed life. I've seen many vampire girls crying in the garden during some parties because of their marriages. They were having hard times with their husbands. "Then please spank me." So I can do whatever I want after.

"If you step outside the house for two weeks then I will!" he hit the desk with power. I heard it cracking. Forgive me… I bowed my head before turning to the door. It cannot be helped. I made father angry and I must suffer the consequences. Two weeks in the house is easier than anything else.

I closed the door behind me. Where is mother when I need her? She is gone whenever things go bad between me and father. Well, she was also gone most of my childhood so I cannot be surprised now that she is not here.

"Juri-sama, are you alright? I heard some strong noises from master's office." The maid came worried to me. She looked all over my face.

"I am fine Nana. Don't worry about me." I smiled kindly at her before leaving to my room. The corridor is so dull that I feel like darkness is eating me. _I am scared… Blackness won't let me free again…_ I know that. Soon I will reach my room and everything will be fine. I know that I am safe there. Maybe I could start writing things about myself.

I grabbed some papers and a pen from the table and walked to the bathroom. Since I have so much free time I can very well stay in the bathtub and write and think of nothing else. The paper and pen hit the floor. My hand reached the tub. The water began to fall making strong noises. It looks like… Tch! It looks like nothing! I stepped in front of the big mirror and looked at myself. _'You are beautiful my child, but there are even more beautiful women.'_ I know that, father. I never considered myself as being beautiful. My face is plain and my lips are not exactly beautiful. This hair is too long and it needs to be cut. It already reaches my knees. The dress rested on the floor revealing a not too appealing body. I am not exactly tall. Saya is so tall and she looks like a goddess. I wear cub B so I don't have breasts almost at all. My mother is a beauty and my father is also a gorgeous man. As their daughter I should look incredibly beautiful but I don't. My fingers slipped over my cheek, chin, between the breasts and over my belly. This really is a plain body.

I licked my lips before walking to the tube. Maybe I should really let father decide for me since I have no chances to get a man. Sensei is a human and he was never attracted to me. Between humans I was standing out but he never thought that way about me. Sensei treated me like a student until the last second. That kiss is something that I still want to protect. Another man's lips cannot touch mine yet. After these two weeks are over I will really find myself a boyfriend. I am 18 and I feel embarrassed for sharing only one kiss so far.

I put the pen on top of the paper. _"It was a summer night. The wind was hot. It was smelling like cherry trees and fresh blood. I saw a child. He wasn't older than 12 and it was unusual for somebody of his age to be there so I stopped. Children aren't allowed to walk on the streets at that period of time. As I walked closer to him I saw a man some feet away from him. I gave him no credit because he was not important at that_ _time. His brown..."_ I stopped and parted my lips. This is the night in which Haruka and I met for the very first time. I should have never stepped in front of that level E but it was good that I did. That night was the beginning for me and Haruka. It was a good night now that I think about it. Cherry flowers were everywhere and the atmosphere was romantic. I licked my lips. That night was the best night ever…

A knock at the door brought me back to reality. I was almost drooling thinking of that scene. "Yes?"

"Juri -sama, there is a letter for you." A letter? How come father didn't stop it? I am punished right now.

"Come in." The door opened and the maid put the letter over my story. "Thank you." She made a deep bow and left.

I grabbed the letter. It has no name on it. Sniff, sniff. "This smell is…" I opened it very fast to read the content. ' _I have received an invitation to a wedding that will be held on 24_ _th_ _of July. Since I know that the bride is your friend you will definitely be there to support her. Please be my partner on that day…_ ' My lips are dry. "K.H." The corners of my lips formed a smile. This is the first time seeing his hand writing. It is neat. I never expected to receive something like this. My first time attending a party with a partner. I tilted my head happily. "Very well. This time I accept it." I rose from the water. The paper and pen fell in the tub. My story is completely destroyed but it is fine. I already lived that perfect world, three years ago.

Without putting anything on my body I walked into the room. It is good to have the bathroom in my room. On the floor remained drips of water that fell from my hair and body. This letter will never be thrown away. I will keep it in my room, in a safe place. Should I say something back? Maybe he wants to know if I accept or not. I turned the paper. There is no address on it so where should I send it? I am punished so they won't let me send it anyway. This is the very first time someone writes to me. I am so happy that I can actually die.

"Juri-sama, you have received another one." Nana entered into the room with another letter with a blue cover. "The man that brought it here is waiting for your answer."

"Nana, is father still home?" I asked after taking it. He would never let something like this get to me. In his eyes when I am punished I must be kept away from the world. Nobody will know if I am still alive or not. This is his way.

"No madam. He left shortly after you got into your room. He said he will be late tonight."

"Thank you Nana. What would I do without you?"

She walked to the bathroom. I turned and opened the new letter. It is so exciting! ' _I want an answer today. K.H_.' I grinned. All of this is kind of strange. Nana put over my shoulders a robe. I grabbed a white paper and began to write on it my response. 'Don't try to act cocky with me, baka. What is wrong with you all of the sudden? You write me letters that have no address. We are not in a secret relationship or have strong feelings for each other so get yourself together. /(ㄒoㄒ)/' I licked my lips while smirking. Am I too bold? Let's try it again. 'Why do you sent me letters all of the sudden? It is kind of strange, baka. We are friends so I guess that it is ok to go there together. What do you want me to wear?' Ummm. Is it ok? The last sentence… is it weird? I put the pen over my lips. We are friends and he said that I only have to be myself but it feels strange. If I were his lover maybe it would have been right to ask that but like this is… My lower lip is getting red from all the biting. But it would be interesting to see his response. "Nana. You can give it to the man." I folded it nicely and gave it to her. She bowed and left.

I am starting to get nervous. Maybe I should have erased that sentence. Argh! I am the real baka! What if Haruka thinks I am nuts? For a girl like me to write something like that to him is unforgivable. I put on a shirt and a pair of shorts. Will I receive an answer or anything like that? A letter looks like something intimate. I don't want anyone to read it.

Minutes go by like hours. Maybe he is laughing his heart out at what I said. Damn! How am I supposed to look at him now? No. No. There is no reason for me to panic. From my home to the Senate or to his house is a long way to go so it is normal to take time. But maybe he got mad and decided to ask someone else. Someone like that woman… NO! If he does something like that I will smack him to death. He knows that I hate her and she is his brother's fiancée so he'd better stay away from her. Haruka is not the kind of man to hurt someone just like this. Yeah…Everything will be just fine.

I turned all over the bed until the morning came. Haruka never sent me a letter since then. I practically spent two weeks and a half in my room waiting for a response. I had nothing else to do but look on the window, read and try drawing things. I waited and waited for a simple letter to come for me. Because that little piece of paper contained words meant only for me.

Mother came home only the night before Himika's wedding. That day my punishment was already over so I didn't bother to tell her about it. It had no meaning for her to know.


	9. Chapter 9

In the end I accepted the fact that Haruka didn't want to send me a response. I really wanted to know what color of dress to wear but now I don't even know if he is still my partner. Since I have to go there anyway I will ask him about it. Maybe I read too much in what he said and he backed off surprised. It is not like I have feelings for him or anything but my chest still hurts. He is only a friend but I was so happy when he asked me to be his partner. It never crossed my mind that things will end up like this. I should have only said 'yes' and nothing more. My bad mouth is always making me lose things.

Nana arranged carefully the edge of the dress. The red material rested very nicely over my thighs. I feel nervous. It is my first time wearing a tight dress. In the beginning I had second thoughts about it but after I put it on, I liked it. I don't have breasts but it makes my middle look very thin. The color is somehow making me shine. Until now I preferred to wear white, blue or black when it came to dresses. I have no confidence in the way my body looks. Father also said that there are even more beautiful women out there so the competition is tight.

I sat on the chair and let Nana play a little with my hair. She carefully brushed it two times then looked at it from many angles. Before she began to dress me I told her to cut it. Her eyes are teary because of it. It cannot be helped. My hair is just too long and I want a change. Ever since I was little I had long hair and now I want something new. She is supposed to cut it until it rests above my shoulders. It is not that hard but since she is used with my long hair now is a problem for her. I smiled warmly at her. She looked at my reflection and nodded. There is no reason to be scared of it. My hair will grow very fast. Before she knows it, it will once again reach my knees. She took the scissors and with one fast movement the hair fell on the floor. Suddenly my head feels so light. It is something new. This girl from the mirror looks prettier. Her face is brighter.

Nana turned my chair to look better at my face. Her fingers raised my chin and she looked all over me. Some tears appeared in her eyes as she nodded. After all I look better with short hair than long. She caressed my cheeks. Nana has been like a mother for me. She helped me walk, speak and enjoy life although I was kept in the house. She taught me many things about the vampire society and what I represent in it. Nana made my life look important although I never knew what living your life really meant. I had her next to me and it was enough at that time. Now I need more than a mother's love. I want a man to love me and protect me from the hardships of life. Nana grabbed once again the scissors to make my bangs shorter. Even though I have no partner I want to be beautiful this night. I want people to see me not smell my delicious blood. Maybe I will make Haruka regret that he changed his mind. Nana nodded one more time before beginning to gather the hair from the floor. She is such a hard worker. When I go to school in the day she waits for me with food and asks me how my day was. I really love Nana.

I stood up from the chair and walked to my desk. This desk is important for two reasons: 1. I have a picture with Akira-sensei; 2. Letters from Haruka. These three things are as important as my own life. This is the first time I have something this important. I pulled the drawer revealing a gross book. My fingers brushed it carefully. There was no day in which I didn't look at them. My two most important men left me only this. I put the book on the desk and opened it at page 246. The first letter that Haruka sent me is right here. 'Please be my partner on that day. K.H.' I really wanted to but you didn't say a word since then. It is a shame. This was a chance for us to grow even closer but maybe it is better like this. You are closer to that woman than me. It destroys me when I think it over. Why did she have to give her disgusting blood to him? Haruka is my most important man right now. I don't want to think about them being together. From what I heard Rido has no intentions in marrying her and she hates him from the bottom of her heart. Which means that there could be something between them… Haruka… MY fangs grew out of the sudden. I put my fingers on my neck. My fangs want to badly to pierce that white and strong neck of his. I thirst after his blood. It is so wrong to want his blood but I cannot stop this anymore. I think more often about wanting to taste him. I want his blood to boil inside me. Ah… I closed the book and put it back in the drawer.

My feet entered into the yellow stilettoes. They are kind of high but I will try my best to not fall in front of others. Since I am not that tall I need heels. I rested my hand on the wall for support. It is harder than I thought. Feels like my feet are made out of stone and I cannot control them at all. How can models and actresses walk in these things? I made up my mind about wearing them but I need more than will to actually do it. Sigh…

Mother stopped in front of me and smiled. Her eyes are glistening. She is also amused by my trembling legs and way of hugging the wall. She reached me with her hand. I grabbed it and slowly walked away from the wall. With my mother's support it is easier to walk. She kept tight my hand and waited for each of my steps. I licked my lips with satisfaction when I finally stopped trembling and could walk properly.

Father was in front of the door arranging his jacket. He turned and saw me. For a second his eyes narrowed as he saw my short hair. If I think a little about it father is the reason I had my hair long. He said that women should differ from men in all ways.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Mother asked him. He turned and walked outside. "He just doesn't want to admit it." Mather panted my shoulder. ' _You are beautiful my child, but there are even more beautiful women.'_ I know that but today I feel more beautiful than ever. I see myself as a true beauty.

"I am the pureblood princess, right? I have to be beautiful," I said quietly. Mother is unusually nice. She hardly ever cares about me and never bothers to protect me. I know that she does not want to fight with father but she could at least come to me and speak with me from time to time…

We walked outside the house. My feet are getting used to the feeling of being above the earth. With very slow movements I climbed down the stairs. If I walk like this the party will be over by the time I get there. Father sighed and grabbed my middle. Mother made us space as he took me bridal style and put me inside the car. It felt unreal. Father never did something like this before. Not even when I was a baby. I am happy to be carried by father.

The car started moving. My legs are starting to tremble again. Soon I will meet up with Haruka and he might be there with another woman. He will enjoy the night together with her in front of me. Bangs covered my eyes as I clenched my fists over my knees. Haruka is my best friend so I should be happy for him but I just cannot do that. Why? He is such a great guy. He…Haruka deserves the best woman in the world. I should support him yet I pray so that he is alone. Why am I like this? _Best friends support each other in such moments._ I know that but it is frustrating! He was right next to me three weeks ago and now he is next to another woman. _Why do you care? You will still be friends._ But what if we won't?! What will I do if he were to push me away? That letter is the beginning of our end. I should have never asked anything. _Wrong. You are scared that he was playing with you and you feel for it._ Yeah… I am scared that it was a game from the beginning. _You are a child._ I know… _You don't have what to speak about._ It is true. I only bad mouth him and he smiles back. He rarely spoke. _Friends are not affected about other women._ But I am because Haruka is an important friend I don't want to lose. _What does it have to do with other women?_ I don't know. But my chest hurts when I think about him holding another woman. I bit my lower lip. _It is a sin to betray a friend._ I know. _Wouldn't it have been better to be kept in the house forever? You would have never known what betrayal_ _or happiness is. Just like a little doll._ Yes. It would have been great. I am scared of facing reality. I don't want to get hurt.

"Juri, we need to get out of the car," mother put her warm hand on my bare shoulder. I was feeling as if I was brought back from darkness. Mum was looking surprised at me. It was as if they spoke with me the whole time but I didn't hear them. Did they? Did I lose something important?

"Yeah…" I nodded and slowly stepped down. It doesn't feel strange anymore. I can walk on my heels now. Why? I am so discouraged yet I walk so freely. After I climb these stairs my real nightmare will wait for me.

My heart is about to burst out. It beats so fast and irregular. It feels like it will stop after I enter inside the restaurant. I need to calm down. _What if he is with another woman?_ Even so, I need to calm down. Everyone can hear my loud heart. My hair is short now. If he is with another woman and he happens to see me then maybe he won't recognize me. _You think so?_ No, but there is nothing else better to think of. This is the only way I can protect myself. I licked my lips before stepping inside the palace like restaurant.

The place is filled with vampires. They drink and have a great time while speaking about politics. Some teenagers are dancing while others are flirting. Everyone seems to be happy doing whatever they want. It is like they don't care that this is a wedding party. The bride and groom should be the center of attraction but everyone makes use of this occasion to meet and chatter.

While mother and father walked to Himika's parents I went to her. She is the one who needs to be congratulated. Her long and golden dress looks stunning on her. Himika is indeed a beautiful woman. No matter how I look at her she is perfect. Her black hair is nicely caught in a ponytail.

"You are a real beauty." I said approaching her.

Her eyes got big as she saw me. It has been a while since the last time we met so she is kind of surprised to see me. "Juri…" She stepped in front of me putting her palm over my cheek. "Where have you been? I tried calling you but everyone from your house said that you are currently away." Her voice is trembling.

"Sorry for making you worry. I wasn't gone anywhere. Unlike you I refused to marry a stranger so I was punished for that."

"Did he hit you?" her voice got higher.

"Baka. Of course he didn't. I was obliged to stay in my room." She smiled. I really made her worry. "Congratulations. You are a married woman now."

She blushed. "Yeah… Have you met Hitoshi?" She looked at her husband. He was staying a little behind, watching us. His amber eyes are calm. "Come here and meet my best friend." She said flapping her hand.

He came to us and made a deep bow. "It is a pleasure to meet you, pureblood princess Juri-sama."

"Don't treat her like some kind of celebrity," she shouted jealous. I giggled. It was unexpected what he did just now. This is the first time someone actually calls me by that name. I don't know if I should be happy or not. "She is only Juri."

I forced a smile. "Yeah, don't worry about such things. Calling me by my name is the best."

"I am sorry then. I am Hitoshi Kain. It is a pleasure." He reached me with his right arm. I looked at it for a second then we shook hands. Now I feel a lot better. His voice is low but kind. Himika sure found herself a cool husband. Well, her father did. He does not seem to be a bad man and the aura around him tells me that he is peaceful.

"Himika, Hitoshi. Both names begin the same. Maybe it was destiny?" I looked at her. She once again blushed and looked away.

"You cut your hair. It is so short," she changed the subject.

Hitoshi and I parted our hands. I travelled my fingers through the hair. "That is because I wanted a change. Do I look bad now?"

"No you are…"

"Juri!" In one second Saya was hugging me with power. I stopped breathing out of shock. "I was so worried. When I couldn't reach you no matter what I did I realized that your father was mean to you. Are you ok? He cut you hair as punishment?" she kept on asking. A drip of sweat rested on my face. For a worried person she sure can say a lot of things.

"Baka, I cut it myself."

"I have so many things to tell you. Where should I start from?" she asked impatient. Once again a drip of sweat rested on my face. So that was the problem. She had nobody to torment while I was locked in my room. Since Himika was busy with the wedding no wander that she is exploding now.

"Don't kill me."

"Juri, we have guests so…" I nodded to Himika. She grabbed her husband's elbow and walked to my parents. They look good together.

"Saya, try breathing. Nobody will take me away." She nodded and put herself back on her feet. I was about to fall when she jumped like that. I am still trying to get used to my new shoes. "So? Did anyone die while I was gone?"

"Not really. I glued myself to Ryu but he doesn't seem to be interested in me. Oh, and two or three times we ate together with Haruka-sama." My heart skipped a beat. Haruka… "You said that I am beautiful but he doesn't give a damn about me. No matter what I do he just…"

"Is he here?" I don't want to face Haruka right now.

"Yes. I stayed with Ryu until some second ago." I smiled mischievously. I am not interested in him right now. The thing that I want to know is if Haruka is here or not. "Juri…what should I do? This is the very first time I have such a hard time with a man."

I looked at her sad eyes. For some reasons she looks very small right now. Saya was always superior to me in many things. She was a girl that only had to smile to get things. Ryu-san is a difficult person when it comes to girls. At least this is what I can tell from what I hear from her. I rested my hands over her shoulders. Saya never suffered in love. Men are crazy about her yet Ryu-san just won't give in. I will have to speak with him. "Saya. Everything will be great. Just wait a little. He isn't the kind of man to fall for looks, which is good. If he keeps it like this then he needs more proof , like truth and fidelity."

"How do I show such things?" She looks at me with hope in her eyes.

"Right now I have no idea." I looked around. I cannot see Haruka. "Is he here?" I kept on looking away. I really want to see him. I don't have to speak with him or anything. It is enough to only see him.

"Yes. He is here," she nodded wildly. My stomach knotted. So there is a big chance to meet up with him.

"What should I do?" I looked back at her.

"What do you mean? Just say hello and have a great time at his place after the party," she ironized me. When it comes to me she has no idea but when it is about her she must be helped. Who knows what will happen if I don't. I walked away. "Hey, Juri. What about me?"

My feet are moving in only one direction: to the table where drinks are served. For some reasons I feel like he will be there. Vampires grinned at me and made deep bows as I was walking past them.

Father told me to stay away from Haruka but I still want to be close to him. The only thing I don't want to lose is our friendship. As I was expecting Haruka was in front of the table. I stopped. That woman is also there. For some reasons she is looking down and he is holding her hand. I am getting sick. Long ago I told him to stay away from her but it seems that it is impossible. What exactly is that woman for him? She is Rido's fiancée so why bothering with her? Haruka, I really don't understand you. Is she the reason for changing his mind?

Haruka sensed me and looked into my direction. I kept a straight face. The only thing I can really see is him holding her hand. Why is he holding it so gentle, as if she is some kind of weak flower that must be protected. I took one step back and turned on my heels. This is it. I've seen enough of this. If Haruka wants her that badly then I will have to let him be. Anyway, there is nothing that I can say. He loves her for sure. Haruka even drank her blood. They have an important bond that cannot be cut this easily.

"Ara, Juri," Ryu-san flapped his hand at me. He has so much energy. Right now he looks so bright.

"I have to say that I am in a really bad mood so don't make me any angrier. Saya is an important friend of mine so you better not make her cry. But I guess it would be an honor to have your balls crashed by a pureblood." I looked coldly at him before walking past him. This is the only thing I can say right now. Haruka made me so angry that I cannot even control my vocabulary. I said something more than vulgar right now.

I walked outside, on the balcony. The wind is blowing, shaking my short hair. Damn! _Do you want to cry?_ Of course I do! Haruka never held my hand like that. We held hands and hugged once, but it didn't feel gentle at all. Not to say that on one of the occasions I was about to die… _You are just a friend._ Oh, shut up! You are so annoying. I rested my elbows on the edge of the balcony. Only seeing his face would have been so great. Why did I have to also see her and him holding her? That woman is destroying my life! I hate her! She is nothing but a bitch and enjoys the way things are. "But I am…" just a friend… I closed my eyes. I don't want to be more than a friend. I have no right to get angry over him having another…

"It has been a while."

I opened my puffy eyes. "Shut up. Don't speak with me." Why did he come after me? I was suffering enough without speaking with him. I must not look into his eyes. He always controls me when I do.

"How have you been?" he rested his back against the balcony.

"Are you deaf?" Go away… I hate myself for how I feel right now. There is something wrong with me. Maybe I should see a doctor. In a way, I am aware that he did nothing wrong and that he is free to speak with whomever he wants but I… I simply don't want him near the woman who keeps me in her shadow…

"You cut your hair," he reached some strands.

My heart skipped a beat. Haruka is casually touching my hair. I frowned and slapped his hand away. "Don't!" I threatened. You make me feel awful so look away. Please stop staring at me with your kind eyes.

"It looks good but I prefer the version with long hair." My eyes got big. What is he saying? I looked in the opposite direction. Haruka is a very persistent person. The way he never gives up annoys me. My feet are getting weak again. "I was hoping that you would wear white." The wind seems stronger than before. In a twinkle of an eye I looked at him. My lips are parted out of surprise. "The letter…didn't it reach you?"

'The letter?' What letter is he speaking about? He smiled back at me. Why is he always smiling? He reached his pocket and took out a blue rose that looks the same with the one from his chest. He stepped closer to me and caught it on my dress. I could only look at him with my lips parted in surprise. Realization begins to hit me. Haruka is the kind of man that speaks few words. We hardly speak when we are together because he isn't the kind of person to have long conversations. Ah, now I remember just how much I really know about him. Haruka isn't the kind to do pranks or hurt someone's feelings. He protected me so many times and smiled gently at me. All the bad things always run away when he is around. Next to him is the safest place. I was so mean to him some seconds ago. Looking away is the best thing I can do. If I open my mouth now I will once again say rude things.

"You already accepted to be my partner so look only at me this night. No other man is allowed to get near you."

"Idiot. This is a party. People socialize here." I am happy. Haruka is the man I always thought he is. I don't know what happened to the letter but maybe Nana didn't want to give it to me….

"That rose makes you mine for the night so don't dance with other men." He is so calm while saying embarrassing things. Haruka is an adult so it is normal to not think too much about his words but I do. Haruka is the first man to look at me for what I am not for what I have. He smiles and says words meant only for me. He made me feel special. Sensei never returned my feelings so I was disappointed. If a human doesn't fall for me then a vampire won't even look at me. But Haruka is looking at what I am.

"Only this night though. There won't be another night like this." Father told me to stay away from him. I am getting the feeling that he knows things that I should not know… "You understand that I am not like others, right? I am not beautiful and have a normal body. Nobody will approach me in that way."

"I like you just the way you are. But let your hair grow again." My cheeks flushed.

This atmosphere is strange. It is as if we are lovers or something like that. No! This is so wrong! It will be terrible if people were to misunderstand! "I thought that you like me the way I am. From now on I will have only short hair so get used to it." Hump! I had to destroy that lovely air. It was making my skin shiver. Haruka reached me with his palm.

"Can I hold your middle? Or at least hold hands?" his voice is like always: calm, mature. I am like a child that changes all the time. Now I am nice and sweet and two second later I am cold and mean. I looked at his hand. That is the hand that held that woman. I don't want to be the same as her.

"Because it is a special night you can hold my middle." He looks so happy. My words made him so bright. Why? I said nothing special. I was simply jealous of that woman… Without hesitation he grabbed my hips. My lips got dry. "Hey, that isn't the middle, you know?" I growled. It is too much for me. The night is still young and we can progress slowly. Grabbing me by such an intimate place is making me stiff. I am not used to be touched like this. Haruka is a man with experience but I am only a child that learns how to walk on high heels.

He didn't even look at me. Haruka looked ahead with a bright smile on his face. My face is getting blue. For a vampire he sure looks like a rainbow. He took one step ahead pushing me after him. "Walk slowly or I will break my neck. I am still testing my shoes." I like the way it feels to be lead. There is no way for me to make a mistake like this. I can support my body on his and if anything happens he will hold me tight. This is the feeling of having a partner. No…this is a feeling of being stick close to Haruka. Although his hands are cold and make me shiver I still like it. But what makes me happy is the fact that Haruka remembers that I like blue roses. He bought mine artificial so it won't die. I really am happy.

People looked at us as we walked past them. It is unusual to see us this close together. Haruka doesn't seem to mind the attention but I am starting to lose balance. He is used to being watched after so many years but I am not. People usually look at my neck and crave for blood but now they see more than that. They watch me walking. Haruka's grip got tighter around my hip. I looked at him then at the people watching us. On their faces is written 'she is his meal'. It is not like I am hurt by such things. I've gotten used to it a long time ago but I am not his meal. We are friends.

"How nice. One second ago you were so scary Juri-chan," Ryu smiled.

"I was telling the truth. Saya is important to me so be careful about what you do." I kept my cold temper. Ryu-san should know as well as everyone that although lately I smile and seem kind I am pretty rough. I don't remember a time when I ran away from a fight. "That is all I can say because it depends only on the two of you. Reject her kindly at least."

"Although you were gone for so long you sure know a lot," he giggled. Ryu-san doesn't know when to be serious and when to be playful. He is an interesting man.

It feels like the whole society is looking at my back. This can mean only one thing: father saw us and he is more than angry. After all he told me I am still playing with fire. Somehow I anticipate a new punishment. Since I told him that we have no relationship he should be more than angry to see the contrary. Ah…it will hurt this time. I swallowed harshly.

"That is right Juri-chan. Dance with me," he reached me with his opened palm.

"I promised Haruka that I won't," I responded simply. It is so embarrassing to say such things. I feel like I am his property or something like that. What should I do? I just said something strange.

"With Ryu is fine." Haruka let go of my hip. I feel abandoned by him. My hip is getting cold, lonely. His body feels far away now. I looked at him before Ryu-san grabbed my hand and pulled me after him. It feels as if I am taken away from him.

"Don't get close to that woman, Haruka." I shouted and some people began to giggle. Not all vampires are bad, I know that. Many really respect us and want to protect us. They wish for a world where humans and vampires can live together. I want the same thing and I will do anything. As long as there is hope things can actually work.

Ryu-san stepped closer to me and put his palm over my lower back. Saya is boiling somewhere near us. Gulp. "It is my first time…"

"Hm?" he looked at me closer. I don't feel stiff when he does such things. Also, the fact that he put his hand on my lower back is fine. If Haruka were to do that I would have probably died. Why does it feel so different? Both of them are males but only one can make my skin shiver; only one can fill my head with thoughts about him.

"…dancing. I've never danced before," my voice is like a whisper. I feel so embarrassed about this. I've attended many parties but I've never danced before. Nobody has ever invited me. Not even father.

"So you are a virgin," he smirked.

"What?!" my heart almost stopped.

"At dancing I mean." He released my hand and grabbed my chin. "Don't worry. I will be gentle."

"Stop sexual harassing me… I know how to dance but I never did it at a party."

"Ah, so this is your first time in public. I am honored."

"I've already asked you to stop doing this!" If I wasn't feeling embarrassed I would have smacked him. This is the worst moment of my life. Ryu-san is a total pervert. "Can't I just call you Ryu?" I asked as we began to dance. The feeling is so strange. Although I wear heels he is still taller than me and supports me very well. Unlike Haruka, Ryu-san has really warm hands. But the irony is that I feel much hotter when Haruka touches me.

"No, but you can call me honey," he said playful. I looked at him normally. He is a real bastard but I will pretend that I didn't understand what he meant. From time to time it is good to play around with men. Saya was right when she said it. I am at the age when I also want to do many things with men but I never had a chance. This is one chance.

We kept on dancing. I like the way my hair moves in the air. The way my body is pressed against him for better balance, making things so easy. Ryu-san is a great dancer. I find it a pleasure. Now I understand why Himika says that dancing is so much fun. I forget about everything and concentrate only on hearing the music. Still, I need to ask something. I wanted to do it long ago but I never had a chance to. If I ask Haruka I feel like this time he wouldn't answer me sincerely. He said he drank her blood but is that all? Is there still something that I don't know? "Say honey. What kind of relationship does Haruka have with his brother's fiancée?" I looked deep into his eyes. If he looks away then he will lie.

His cheeks kind of changed colors for one second. He didn't expect to hear me calling him honey. "Nothing…" he looked away for a second. I pretended that I slipped and stepped over his foot. "AH!"

"One more lie and I told you: your balls are mine, honey," I roared.

"Juri-chan, I won't answer such a question. It is not my place to do that. If you really want to know you have to ask Haruka. I am sorry." The music stopped. "Shall we go back to him?"

"So, there is something big, huh?" I smiled. From the very beginning I knew that something was between those two but I just couldn't say what. He said that he drank her blood but what if there was more than that? Ryu smiled and pushed me away from ring. "It is fine."

"I am really sorry Juri-chan. But I cannot betray his trust."

As we walked back to Haruka I noticed my father looking long at me. He doesn't seem angry but he surely isn't pleased. Ryu seems to be so pure. He will never betray his best friend. Not even if another pureblood asks and threatens. But after this I really want to know what happened between those two. _Even if you will regret after?_ Yes. I will find out but not tonight. I want to enjoy my friend's wedding party.

"Listen, listen, Haruka. This was her first time dancing. Aren't I lucky?" Ryu is more than excited about it. Like always Haruka only smiled back. "Then I will go and find another partner." He released my middle and flapped his hand before leaving while singing.

"You two had a little fight there."

"Not really. We are fine." Will he invite Saya to dance with him? There are too many people and I lost him. Why do I have the feeling that he is a playboy? Somehow, things are kind of strange. The air is kind of sad here. "Say Haruka: is your brother here?"

"Onii-sama didn't want to attend."

"So that woman is alone." Rido has no intentions in marrying her. I know that for sure. She doesn't want to do it either so there will be no wedding.

"Why do you hate her that much?"

I frowned. "Why do you protect her?" I looked coldly at him. "When you answer me that, I will do the same." He kept on smiling. "Since I know that you will never answer me then I won't either." Staring at him I noticed that his eyes were seeing through me. He clearly was not paying attention to our discussion. The aura around him has somehow changed. He was like this when we first met some years ago. He tries to keep me close but he also tries to keep the distance between us. "I…" his eyes are examining my neck, "…don't mind. You can have my blood." From my neck he looked at my face as if he saw me for the first time that night. "But not here. I don't want people to see us like this."

"Are you fine with this?" he asked with lust hoping I won't change my answer. He is so hungry that his voice is trembling. This is the first time he is this obvious about his thirst.

"For you it is." Haruka, I don't know if you realize but you just licked your lips.

He put his hand on my hip and we began to climb down the stairs to the garden. I am not scared. Although I might not make it back to the part I know that he will make sure I get back home safely. By the way he pushes me he seems to be eager to drink my blood. I looked over my shoulder. Did father see us leaving the balcony? I know he does not like the idea of me being with Haruka. I am sure that he knows what we are about to do as he knows that this is not the first time. But I do not understand why father won't say anything. He must have something he wants to say but he won't take me away from Haruka… It feels like although he wants me away from him he cannot step between us. Haruka's hands seem colder than before. Where are we going? I feel like I am being kidnaped. He knows exactly where to go as if this is not the first time he does this.

Beyond the parking lot and behind some thuja was a lonely bench waiting for someone to notice it. I looked around. There is nobody to see us here. I took the initiative and sat comfortable on it, looking up at him. He kept on looking back at me. His eyes are neither sad nor worried. He is very serious. He waits for a sign. "I didn't change my mind." Although the road was long I feel the same. I want this person to drink my blood. He sat right next to me. His hip is touching mine. My heart almost stopped when he grabbed my left thigh and pulled it over his legs. This position is a little… His hands slipped over my back and he leaned over me. I think that I am going crazy. This is just too much. His hair is brushing my cheek. He put his left leg over my right one. "Hey…" Stop this! I feel like we are about to do something else. His smooth tongue travelled over my neck. "Ah…" My skin is shivering with anticipation. I bit my lip. His rough fangs touched my neck. "Just be gentle." He stopped for a second and nodded. His fangs slowly pierced my neck. With low movements he is going deeper and deeper inside my skin. It hurts a little but I can take this pain. Suddenly the position doesn't matter anymore. My mind is going crazy as he is gently sucking my blood. He breathes heavily. He swallowed loudly my blood. "The…ah…pureblood you killed two years ago… remember him, right?" He didn't respond. He probably does. "Father said that he was my fiancée…" It is so hard to breath. The way he sucks is making me want to do strange noises. His left arm grabbed my back tighter while the other travelled over my left thigh. It is not enough that he is practically over me but now he is even touching me there… I closed my eyes. Haruka is doing too much already. If father sees me like this my life will be over. "Too much…" Everything is too much. He swallowed. I can feel his fangs coming out. This time he has control over the situation. He took his hand from my thigh to wipe the blood that was flowing over his chin. After licking it he also licked the blood from around my neck. I feel weak. His head feel over my shoulder while his hand returned to my lonely thigh. I can feel his breath warming up my chest.

"Drink my blood," he whispered almost begging me.

"I don't need yours." I will be fine if I just rest a little.

"Then whose blood do you want?"

"Lately I have been craving for your blood but I refuse to drink it." It is not a lie. The day my father punished me I began to feel strange in the bathroom. My eyes were looking at the water that was filling in the tub. I was thinking that it looks like blood. I wanted it to be Haruka's blood.

"Why?"

"Because I do." One day I will for sure drink your blood but until then we will remain like this.

"Juri…"

"Don't try to change my mind," I said promptly.

"From now on can I…drink your blood when I'm thirsty?"

I can feel his heart beating fast. Or maybe that is my heart. "It might not be a good idea..." If I keep on losing blood every week I will eventually die. My body can give and never receive but not for too long.

"Then I won't." He rubbed his cheek over my shoulder. It feels good.

"You can have another's blood." It kind of pains me to say this but I cannot restrain him. It is normal to crave for blood.

"Yes but it won't satisfy me. No matter how much I drink it will never be enough."

"Is my blood that tasty?"

"Yes but taste has nothing to do with it. Since you are special to me only your blood will be enough."

I looked at the sky. There are so many stars witnessing this scene. "Say Haruka, how many people's blood did you drink since you had mine?" I want, need to know. Please tell me.

"Since I met you I never touched another person."

I smiled. "Liar. But I will take it this time." I really want to believe you.


	10. Chapter 10

Hitomi looked at his daughter from above his newspaper. His stare is harsh but at the same time he also seems a little bit worried. He doesn't know what to do with his daughter. She clearly doesn't understand her situation and on top of that she did what he told her not to do. Her mother is also looking at her from time to time. She pretends to look over the table for food but her eyes always watch her. She feels like an argument will arise but she doesn't know what to do. Juri is very hormonal and her reactions are hard to predict. At times like this she regrets not spending more time with her daughter. Both of them seem to want to tell Juri something but neither of them dares to say a word. Juri know that they want to talk about yesterday but she would rather not hear it. She did what she felt that moment. Everything seemed right! Why should she feel guilty? She did nothing wrong. Haruka is a friend and she wants to help as much as possible. She knows that this is not good for her health but she cannot keep stay away from him.

"Juri…" her mother started but could not find the proper words to continue. She doesn't want to be the one to start the fight.

"I am fine," Juri sighed putting down the fork. She knows that nothing can stop the fight she will have with her parents.

Hitomi folded the newspaper and threw it on an empty chair. "You are fine?" he repeated unsure whether or not she understands her situation. "I told you not to get near that man."

"I do not understand. Why is father like this? Haruka is a good man and I really believed that you like him but…"

"When I tell you to stay away from him I am not trying to tell you that he is too good for you. On the contrary!" he shouted hitting the table with his palms. "This man is killing you and you have nothing against it."

He is not killing me, she thought annoyed. "He is a friend…" I whispered.

"That family is pure evil," her mother said almost crying.

She abruptly got up bumping down her chair. "Since when do you care about me?" she asked her annoyed. "You were never there for me and now, out of the sudden you pretend to care?"

"Juri," her father threatened.

No! That is the truth. "You were never a mother to me… You… Where were you when I was sick this winter? Where were you when father punished me? Where were you when I was growing up?!" she shouted. While motioning she hit the glass with apple juice. Everything became reddish around arround. "Father too! Have you ever truly loved me?" she sobbed. How can she possibly drink other's blood when her own blood seems to reject her? She…don't understand anymore… do they even care about them? Her family was always different. They always wanted to control her. They kept her like a doll and now, now that she finally knows how it's like to go to school and have friends, she cannot accept that anymore.

"You are one ungrateful daughter," father reprimanded her.

"Hitomi… Juri is at an age when she questions things. We have to be understanding..." her mother got up and walked slowly to her. "Come on Juri, apologize to your father…please…" Her mother seemed desperate to keep her quiet. She watched her getting closer if she were some dangerous animal. She cannot believe what is happening. Her mother acts as if she didn't say a word to her, as if…it does not matter as long as her father is pleased.

"I…don't understand it anymore…" she took a step back, away from her. She always knew that mother is willing to sacrifice a lot for her father but she doesn't understand why…

"Now be a good girl Juri. Father raised you all these years expecting nothing but respect."

"Do all parents say this to their children? Is this even normal?" she said slapping her hand away. "Do not touch me…please…" she looked down completely lost. Why is she even crying? Her family was never a normal one. Her mother was always away and cared little about her while father was severe most of the time.

"Juri," father's voice echoed through the room, "go to your room and calm down," he said on an understanding voice. She looked at him with puffy eyes. Is she being punished or did he actually understand her? "Nana will bring you some tea."

"And after that?"

"Do whatever you want." He grabbed his newspaper and got up. "I will be leaving. When I get home I don't want to face this type of atmosphere again. And Juri, all parents expect respect."

She watched her father leaving the room. This might be the first argument to end in such a peaceful way. This is also the first time her father does not threaten her.

"You have no idea how great your father is. You are lucky to have him."

"Don't say this to me as if I do not love him."

"If you love him then don't upset him. You have no idea how much he did for you."

"Neither do you. You were never home anyway."

Mother didn't say a word. She looked at me for some seconds before sighing and leaving the room in a hurry. So now she is the bad guy? She feels like the victim of her family. They are always acting as if she were some stranger!

"Come on Juri-sama. A hot bath will do you good," Nana said reaching her from behind.

"No…I am going out."

She patted Nana before leaving the room. She needs some time alone… She needs time to understand what she is supposed to do. If only someone could tell her what to do. She wishes she could go to her beloved sensei and ask him to hug her. Was sensei even real? Why did sensei have to leave? The times sensei was here were the best. She misses him every day. He seemed the only one who had feelings. Juri always thought that humans care more about those around them. And she likes this. Why do vampires have to be so cold and phony? Her teacher was honest… She touched her lips. That kiss… That was the only thing that felt real. All her life is a lie. She lies to her friends from school, knowing very well they cannot accept a vampire as a friend. She lies to her teachers and she lies to Haruka and Saya. But that kiss…that was special. That felt like once in a life time experience. She will never feel so alive again.

Leaving the house, she walked aimlessly. She could not see a thing around her. Her eyes did not see the present but the past: past arguments, past moments and people she used to know. When sensei was there she had no arguments with her family and nothing bothered her. She could accept the way her mother and father were and walk ahead because only sensei had the powers to reach her heart. But now he is gone and all the bad things keep happening to her. How should she face her problems when she is not even used to having problems? Out of the sudden she has to face things for which she was never prepared. Nobody told her that one day everything she knew will crumble. She wonders when did she gathered the courage to face her family so straight forward. She really doesn't recognize herself. She used to be so different until that night… When she first met Haruka her blood started boiling. She never thought that she would actually hit somebody with her shoe. So maybe she needs both of them in her life if she wants to feel alive. She lacks balance. She wants her father to properly recognize her. He does not understand her at all and it feels like he does not even want to. But she also does not understand herself, so maybe there is nothing to be understood about her. She wants sensei gone and safe but at the same time she wants him there, next to her. She needs to see him again. She hated Haruka from the start but she was attracted to him and all her feelings became a mess. Now she does not understand anything anymore. She wants them away from her but she wants them there… She wants him to have her blood but she knows that she will die if this continues. If only somebody could tell her… What is going on with her? What does she feel? She suddenly feels so many things and everything is alien to her. She never knew that the world was so complex.

"Juri?" a voice called her from behind. She stopped and wiped her tears before turning and facing Haruka. He was shadowed by a big, black umbrella.

"I am not in the mood," she said seeing his serious face. She really cannot fight anymore right now. All she need is just some time by myself.

"My time is running out so do you mind coming with me?" he insisted approaching her and gently grabbing her elbow. He studied her face carefully. He did not miss a lone tear rushing down her face. He wiped it with his thumb. He hates having to tell her something that might make her cry even more. "I am sorry but I have something to tell you."

"How did you know where I was?" Or better said… "Why do you always show up when my father leaves?"

He smiled gently. "Please come with me…"

She nodded and walked after him. She really is in no mood to fight him. She has many questions but he is always avoiding her questions. His hand slipped down hers and he grabbed her fingers tenderly. She is not entirely stupid. She always gets the feeling that Haruka and her father try to avoid each other as much as possible. They both have something to do with her but neither of them bothers the other. More tears left her eyes as she looked down. "I know that you are in a hurry but can't this wait?"

"Get inside the car," he said and opened the door. She looked all over his face. What the hell was going on today? She needed to be left alone and here she is being pushed around by him.

She did as he said and stepped inside the car. The driver bowed his head as low as he could. She only nodded and made space for Haruka to enter. The atmosphere is so strange. He closed the door and made a sign to the driver. The driver nodded and car started moving. "So?" she asked wanting to finish it as soon as possible.

He looked at her with his poker face. "Why do you call Ryu 'honey'?" Her heart skipped a beat. This isn't what she was expecting. She licked her lips and leaned on her back.

"For no reason…" Her eyes looked only ahead. "Did something happen?" She changed the question.

"Do you like the beach?" he asked ignoring her words.

She looked annoyed at him. When she was about to open her mouth he looked back at her. His eyes are begging her to say nothing. "Who doesn't like the beach?" He didn't respond. Haruka only looked outside the window as if trying to avoid any conversation inside the car. "Are we going to the beach?" she insisted. He didn't respond once again. Why would Haruka want to go to the beach? The sun is still up and the beach has no shady places at this hour. Today everybody seems to have business. Even her father woke up quite early and left before twilight. He never does this.

But nothing matters anymore. Everybody can do whatever they want. Nobody wants to tell anything important and telling the truth she is kind of sick of everything. She cannot even have time for herself to calm down and get better. Everybody thinks their business is more important. What about what she feels? Can't she have some quiet time and solve her problems? Everybody brings her more problems to be solved! She glanced at Haruka for a second before looking ahead. She wants to get out of the car and walk away. She wants him to leave her alone and… She could not miss the driver's insistent stares in the rearview mirror. When he noticed she was looking at him he pretended to fix the angle of the mirror. Is he watching on them? Really, why is everybody so strange? She caught the driver looking again at them.

Juri looked at Haruka. Was he not noticing that his driver is a jerk? Haruka did not look back at her. He seems lost in his own thoughts. The driver looker at them again and Juri almost lost it. When she opened her mouth to say something but the car suddenly stopped. She looked outside the window and saw the sand and the ocean. She opened alone the door and stepped outside before Haruka could say anything. A nice wind refreshed her as she left the car behind and walked to the sand.

She has always dreamt about the beach. Juri had an idea about what the beach should be like: children running all over the place and teenagers playing volleyball while adults are drinking beer and talking about how great the weather is. She wanted to come at least once with her friends and have fun but she knew that even she couldn't take such a bright sun without getting dizzy. Especially since lately her body is extremely weak and she constantly feels tired. She knows that her father might be right: Haruka is slowly killing her. She couldn't admit because she hates telling her father how right he is. 'Yes, you are right father', she thought as she took off her shoes. 'Yes, Haruka is hurting me!' she screamed inside her head. So what? She has only one life and she is not going to waste it. She is getting closer to death with each passing night. At least she should die for someone than simply stay and wait for her last moment. 'Yeah, I can feel death closer and closer.' An adult would manage this but she is a child who almost never had real blood. Food alone is not giving her enough energy. Everything she is doing is hurting her but she likes living like this.

Haruka stepped in front of her and reached her with his hand. She stared at his hand before he took the initiative to grab hers. They crossed their fingers and slowly walked to the ocean. Juri tilted her head over her shoulder to check if the driver was stilling watching them. He was carefully watching them from the car.

They walked in silence on the crowded beach. Juri got some strands of hair behind her ear and looked at the beautiful sea. She wants to feel it with her feet. She wants to jump out of her clothes and swim naked. She wants to feel something that makes her feel alive. But they stopped and Juri could only enjoy the sight. Haruka is looking at the sea. His face is serious. Even his eyes are no longer glowing. She is sure that he said: ' _My time is running out._ _'_ It is still day so what business could he possibly have? She licked her lips and released his hand. What the hell. Since she is here she is going to enjoy the moment. She walked slowly to the sea. Juri smiled alone as the water reached above her ankles. This is the first time she feels the ocean. She wants even more now to throw her clothes away and swim. She abruptly turned to Haruka. Some drops of water feel over her cheeks and blouse. "Happy birthday, Haruka!" she shouted. The sea is making strong noises but she knows that he heard her. He smiled and motioned her to come back to him. She ran to him enjoying the moment. She feels like a child again: no worries and no pain. She is so happy that she can be there with him. Her first time at the sea and she is with her friend. What more could she want? She stopped right in front of him and grabbed the hand that was reaching her. Haruka looked at her with his beautiful garnet eyes. His eyes are glowing again. That is good enough to make her problems seem small.

"How did you know?" he asked.

"I know many things…" Actually she knew because she heard someone saying at Himika's wedding that he was not celebrating his birthday this year.

"Give me a kiss," he said.

Her cheeks got pink. "W-what?"

"As a gift. I don't need anything else but a kiss."

She never expected him to ask for such a present. She covered her mouth with the back of her hand and looked at him unsure whether he is making fun or her or not. "This is embarrassing..." she said of a hoarse voice. He nodded and pulled her closer. He really wants a kiss from this girl. She is hard to understand and she never fails to surprise him but he enjoys every moment he has next to her. She could never bore him. He finds this child the most attracting woman he has ever met. She will kiss him. She has to! He will feel beyond disappointed if she were to turn him down. Although hesitant she got on her tips and rested her palms on his shoulders. They looked at each other: hope is reflected in his eyes. He bent and she gently touched his jaw. Her heart is beating fast. "You are strange…" she whispered worried.

"Things are going on in the Senate right now... I am being watched."

"Yeah… I've noticed."

"The Senate is corrupt and vampires openly attack people. Of course this angered hunters and the good relationship we had is falling apart. Yesterday some nobles were killed by hunters and everybody wants to start a war."

"What about you? What are you going to do?" If it is him then maybe he can stop them. She trusts Haruka. He looked at her with a serious face. 'Say something', she thought. 'Anything!' He is a Kuran so he can change things, right? "Haruka?"

"Together with my brother and father we decided to leave the Senate."

Her eyes got big. "There is no such thing. They will consider it betrayal." She looked down. What will happen with him after this? They won't just let things the way they are. Those bastards will do something low. She knows they will. The Senate is filled with disgusting vampires.

"Your father will keep on supporting the Senate. He said that he wins nothing from a good relationship with humans." She was surprised but she kind of expected that. Her father is not the kind of man to actually do things which might affect his plans. Maybe he knows that things will be fine. Maybe Haruka should have waited a while before making such a decision.

"What will happen after you leave?" she asked looking back at him.

"Nothing. But… We cannot meat anymore. I'm sure you understand why." Her heart is crushed. They won't meet again? But she didn't want them to be over. She wants to be friends with Haruka. What her father does has nothing to do with her. But this decision hurt Haruka just as much. Of course he wants to be with her but he will put her in danger and he cannot allow something like that to happen. He has to take care of her in his own way.

"Why?" she desperately grabbed his jacket.

"This is the last time."

So it will end just like it began: out of the sudden. She wanted to be together with Haruka for the rest of her life. He was one of the few people who seemed to understand her. Thanks to him she forgot so easily her feelings for sensei. He was the man who made her realize that being a vampire can be a good thing. "Just like this?" she asked on a trembling voice. Her forehead rested on his chest.

"Um."

She cannot let her tears fall in front of him. This is the last time so she wants to smile. She wants to remember this day. She never thought that her heart could hurt so much. She feels like the ground is crushing beneath her. Everything is falling apart: her relationship with her parents, her friendship with Haruka and her own existence. She fears death and she doesn't want to die by herself. She wants friends around her. She wants her life to be a happy one. But she has to let go because he already released her. She has to free him from their relationship. "Thank you for being my friend. It was a short period of time but it was fun." 'Let's meet again', she thought. 'I want to see you soon.'

"Same here. It was fun meeting you. The first person to kick me with a shoe." They giggled.

"The first person I ever kicked with a shoe. You are the first person to taste my blood." She is so glad that it was him.

"It was the best blood ever." His hands rested on her shoulders. "Juri, I really don't want it to end but there is nothing else to do." He slowly pushed her away.

"I know. Haruka, I know…" She doesn't what this to end either! She wants to be close to him…

"Should I take you home?"

She never thought that she will ever hate the beach. It was a perfect place to have fun. Now it is only a place that she will avoid for the rest of her life. This is where Haruka and she said good bye. She could only nod. If she were to say something she is afraid that she might cry. Haruka grabbed her middle and escorted her to the car. Even if this is the last time she wants to smile.

"Why were you crying?" he asked not looking at her face. He is well aware that she might cry again. His Juri is not as strong as she wants to be.

"I…I had a bad feeling today…" she lied. Telling the truth wouldn't change a thing.


	11. Chapter 11

"Juri… Try to calm down a little."

As soon as Juri got home she practically dragged herself to her room. Her chest was hurting and her view was blurry. She felt like she had something in both eyes and could not properly see no matter how much she rubbed her eyes. She couldn't even breathe properly and that made her chest hurt even more. She was really lucky nobody saw her in that state. Who knows what would have happened. She doesn't want them to create a commotion or worry about her. They might call her mother and she is in no mood to see her mother. If she were to die even her mother would be sad. After closing herself inside her room and crushed over the bed as if she were dying. She asked Saya to come and keep her company until she felt better. Usually her pain would go away with some blood pills but now it feels as if she is about to die. She might really die today. Her body is heavy, like a rock. The body that once used to be her feels like it belongs to someone else now. She can barely move a finger!

"Juri…" Saya's voice is trembling. She has no idea what to do. What if her friend really dies in her grip? "Forgive me for not being able to help you. I also heard yesterday from father about the Kuran family's intentions of leaving the Senate. I wanted to tell you today but I didn't have time. I am sorry."

"It does not matter…" Is this what death feel like? "It hurts…." It hurts so much that she cannot even cry. That would put a lot of pressure on her eyes and she fears that they might explode in her head.

"Drink my blood Juri! It will make you feel better!" She took off her scarf and leaned over Juri's body. Although her neck is appealing she cannot do this to her friend. She shook her head. "Please…" She can't! If she gives in now she might kill her with her thirst. She has to get a grip of herself and man up. She chose this path! "You will die!" she cried.

"I…won't die…baka…" She will make it. She always does. "Give me some pills…" She will eat them and hopefully they will make her feel better. Saya rushed to her purse and took out her pills. "What should I do?" Juri asks Saya as takes the pills.

"Do you…love him?" she asked unsure whether or not it was the time to talk about such things.

Juri looked surprised at her. 'Love him'? Haruka is her most important friend and she doesn't want to lose him. Since long ago she thought of a future where he is next to her. She wanted him to be her support in their society. She swallowed the synthetic tasting blood. The taste in unbearable! Was it always this bad…this insufficient? "Of course I do... He is my best male friend."

Saya looked coldly at her. "Then give up and find another one! Ryu can be your new best male friend. He is kind, funny - unlike Haruka-sama - and understanding. Life is long so you can find 100 such friends." Juri looked shocked at her. 100 friends like Haruka…? Wrong! Haruka is the only one who really understands her. She doesn't believe that there would ever be another man to smile at her like that. Next to him she felt so safe.

"But I want Haruka…" Juri looked down as she admitted her desires. Tears are falling over to the pillow. Haruka is her best friend and she doesn't want it to end like this. He is the first adult who allowed her to speak and act freely around him. Those are feelings she never knew before him. She feels this attraction towards him and she has no idea why but she feels like it is worth fighting for him.

"You cannot have him now. Get yourself together Juri. Haruka-sama made you like this..."

"That is not…"

"But it is! He knew you are weak and losing blood could kill you and yet… look at you now!" she shouted.

"I…won't….die!" Juri said grabbing her hand and pulling her down on the bed. Haruka was so serious and had so much control over his feelings when he told her everything. It was as if he didn't care at all. But in reality he tried his best to protect her feelings. "I'm going…" she said trying to get up.

"What? Where?" Saya grabbed her shoulders and helped her get on her rear.

Juri took a deep breath before turning to face the floor. This body still belongs to her. As long as it can move she is going to make use of it and see Haruka again. She took more pills from Saya's bottle and swallowed them with tears in her eyes. Her throat is dry and it hurts but she needs to take many pills and restore some of get strength. She has to! She can worry about her condition later but now she has to move towards her future. If… Let's say he leaves the town she will never see him again. She lost her beloved sensei and she is not ready to lose him too. "After sensei I…"

"He is not sensei. If you don't love Haruka-sama then why bother doing things for him? Things that…" she looked embarrassed down, "we do only for our loved ones…"

"Because I feel a connection. I just can't let him go… My blood boils after him." Who knows, maybe they do have a bond she do not know about. Maybe they met when she was little and made a promise or maybe she is so desperate that she is dying that she clings to the strongest thing she has next to her. She does not know and not everything is meant to be known. She will listen to her heart and if she is wrong then she is at the age when everything seems like a sign. But she has to try in case it really is a sign. Today she had that fight with her family and she thinks that they will be fine even without her. She is not ungrateful. No, but she is simple minded and she cannot let that lonely man face this world alone. It is not fair for a good man like him to fight all alone. "We have to make a difference!" She said and touched the ground with her feet. All the good things started from a sacrifice. She is willing to sacrifice this body of her and her dreams to support a stronger man who can change this world. She knows, Haruka can change this world for better.

This body…although it feels alien it listens to her. She can live with this chest ache as long as she can move forward. Saya just looked at her. Part of her wanted to help Juri move but she knew better. "Please stay in bed…" she begged. She does not want to lose Juri like this. She always knew that although she is a pureblood Juri is fragile and she needs protection. Who will take care of her if she is not around her anymore? That man? That horrible man who is responsible for her situation? She would rather die than give Juri to him but…Juri goes to him by herself and she cannot stop her friend.

Juri's feet took her to the closet. She can do this. She can move! From behind it she took out a bag which she threw on the floor. Even an empty bag feels heavy but she will do this. Fine, if Saya does not want to help her then she will do it on her own. She got on her knees and unzipped it. Saya is only looking at her trying not to slap her friend. She cannot say a word. She is powerless in front of Juri. Juri opened the closet and began to throw in the bag shirts, trousers and dresses. From a case she took out socks, panties and bras. She took everything she could grab at her level. She found a new pair of house slippers and a scarf. This should be enough for now.

"Hey, Juri, what on earth are you doing?" she asked approaching her friend. She grabbed her bag and pulled it away from her.

"I am leaving," she answered and looked around the room. She grabbed the phone adapter and threw them inside the bag after which taking it from her hands. "Saya, I have no time left. Please help me leave the house," she looked at her with hope in her eyes. If she isn't going to help then she cannot do this. "Haruka might leave the town. I cannot allow something like this so I will go with him." She zipped the bag and got up. From her desk she took out the picture with sensei and the two letters from Haruka. She put them in her shoulder bag and looked back to Saya. She is angry. Her eyes are so cold. "Please!" Juri begged. She doesn't want a dull death. She cannot die in a bed, crying her eyes out. This princess will die doing something for someone. She will sacrifice herself for this man.

"My driver waits outside." Saya said and grabbed her bag. She walked to the window and opened it. Juri was lost seeing her friend about to throw her bag outside. Is she trying to stop her?! "We cannot leave if someone sees your luggage, right?" Juri nodded unsure of what she thinks. She smiled and called her driver to get out of the car and catch the bag. Juri put the small bag on her shoulder.

"I will pay you back, I promise." Juri approached and hugged her friend from behind. What will she do without her?

"It is fine. Now jump."

"Jump?" she looked at her with small eyes. "You mean over the window?" The distance is big for someone who drags a leg.

"For God's sake, you won't hurt yourself. We are vampires, baka!" she pocked her forehead.

"But…I feel dizzy and about to throw up…" She is too agitated for her own good. And she is already as hurt as any human being. She can no longer call herself a vampire.

"You want to go to Haruka-sama, right?" she asked and Juri nodded. "Then jump…" she said ready to cry again. "I will be right next to you."

She can do this. She sat on the window frame and looked down. Her feet are trembling. This is the second floor… She hardly believes that she will be fine. She has never done this before. The driver was petrified seeing them there. He didn't know what the bag was for and who he should catch when they jump. Juri has difficulty breathing and cannot guarantee that her feet will listen to her and she will land safely. Saya saw her friend lacks the courage to jump so she pushed her. Juri's heart almost stopped as she saw herself getting near the ground. She bit her lower lip to keep all sounds inside and closed her eyes. If she crushes onto the ground she will die but if she cannot get to Haruka she is just as dead so… The driver opened his arms and caught Juri on time. She was so shocked by the distance that she forgot to even try landing. "Thank you," she said to the driver. He bowed his head in response. Saya landed safely next to them. She grabbed her elbow.

"We have to hurry. Somebody might see us," she almost threw Juri over her shoulder to get her inside the car as soon as possible. Her condition is getting worse and worse: she cannot feel her right leg at all. The driver put Juri's bag in the trunk and took his seat in front of the wheel. Juri looked at him unsure of what to do with the man after he takes her to the destination. Saya leaned over her to whisper into her ear.

"Don't worry. I will erase his memory of today." She giggled and backed off. "Where are we going?"

"Do you know the big and old church next to the Niwa Park?"

"The one built two thousand years ago?"

"Yeah. There is a small street behind it. His house is somewhere there."

"Heard that?" she asked the driver. He nodded. "Then go as fast as you can." Saya looked back at Juri. "I really don't understand why going through all this trouble."

"I don't want to stay away from him." Juri kept on looking at her knees. She has no courage to look at her.

"But you don't love him in a romantic way." Juri nodded. "Then why? You didn't think of leaving the house after sensei left. You loved sensei."

"I don't know. I just don't want to lose him." Haruka did so many things for her while she did nothing. She never thought that a day like this will ever come. When she woke up this morning she thought that it will be the perfect day but everything went wrong. She had plans but the world had other plans with her.

"It is fine. But I don't want to never see you."

"Me neither. I believe that we will meet again." Juri looked at her. "I will have to hide from my parents but I will be fine." Saya looked sad at Juri. "I know I am one foot in the grave but I cannot die without doing anything…" He didn't want to stay even one more minute with her after they left the beach. He only sent her home. She is scared that he will do the same thing now. She is scared that he won't take her with him. He might tell her to go back home, to her parents and she fears she won't be able to change his mind.

"We are almost there." Saya grabbed tight her hand.

Her chest hurts. What will she do if he doesn't let her come with him? She doesn't want to go back to that place. She loves her family but she also feels detached from them. "If he doesn't accept me then I will have to find another place." She will never step inside that house again.

"We can speak with Ryu and…" her voice is so strange. Soon she will start crying her heart out. "We are here." Juri looked outside the window.

There is a car parked in front of the house and some people outside. The driver stopped the car in front of the gate. She opened fast the door and jumped to the trunk. She still cannot feel her leg. Saya came from behind. She grabbed her shoulders and looked into her eyes. She is already crying. Who knows what will happen to her friend from now on? This might be the last time she sees Juri.

"Don't forget me. Call me every day, it doesn't matter the hour. Make sure to eat and stay healthy. When it will be possible I will come and visit you. Don't forget me," they hugged. Her body is trembling. "And don't…don't die Juri."

"I won't." At least, not yet, she thought. "Don't worry about me." She kissed her cheek and took her luggage. They waved hands one more time before Juri walked away dragging one leg.

Her heart is beating so fast. She entered the property and kept on looking at the car. Haruka is there speaking with his personal. She knew it, he is leaving! She started jumping. Her bag keeps hitting the ground as she cannot lift it properly and it slows her down. _'Please don't leave without me. Ever since I met you so many things have happened. You took care of mewhen I first went to the Senate and level Eattacked me. You were the one who followed me inside the woods when I was trying to find the person responsible for what happened then. If you hadn'tcome I would have probably hurt myself. I was so sure that I can take care of things. Maybe I could, who knows? Because Haruka was there from the beginning I had no reasons to try hard. I really don't know… Haruka was the first man to drink my blood. I was so happy back then. Even today I have no regrets. Sure, I am jealous ofthat woman for being close to him for so many years but he said that she is not important to him. I want to trust him. I am sorry father,but I still think that with Haruka is better than at home. I believe that next to him is safer for me. Haruka understands things better than youdo. It is a shame that we couldn't say good bye.'_ Juri kept on remembering things from her past. Because she has hopes she can keep her speed.

"After one mouth you can come to my new place," Haruka said to his personal.

She put my luggage down, right behind him and cleared her throat. "What about me? Can I come today?" she asked smiling. When he turns he has to see a happy Juri. She has to convince him from the first second that she wants to go with him.

He tilted his head over the shoulder and looked at Juri. His is completely surprised to see Juri standing right behind him. Especially after he convinced himself that he has to keep her out of any danger. She smiled back at him. He took one step back and turned to face her. His eyes looked for a second at her bag then closed his eyes and expired hardly. "You don't know what you are doing. Go home."

"It is true. I have no idea about what I will do in the future but one thing is sure: if you are not with me, there will be no future for me." She is dying anyway.

"Juri, this isn't a game. Stop playing around," he said on a harsh voice.

"Um. I know this. But I will prove to you that I understand and that I am ready to face consequences." She jumped past her bag and next to him. She looked up at the tall man. There are things she doesn't want to do but she is desperate to be with him. If convincing him means breaking her principles a little then she will do it without hesitation. She hot on her tips and folded her arms around his shoulders for support. Her fangs grew anticipating her intentions. After she pierces him they will always be together. She licked her lips. Since she was small she decided that she will never drink someone's blood. She felt like her blood did not want to acknowledge her and that made her hate blood. And she got used to this life... She is constantly hungry and her parents ignored her decisions believing that she will give in to her hunger and become a true vampire. She is who she is because of her family. Slowly, she pierced his neck and moments after blood invaded her mouth. The liquid is sweet although she expected it to be salty and taste like iron. This is the taste of something that she refused for so many years having no idea that the taste can be so amazing.

'Was I always this strong?' she asked herself feeling her body becoming hers again. Her heart is no longer aching as painful as it did the past nights. She took a second gulp before retreating herself while she still has her sanity. She might go insane after his blood but she has to be stronger than her lust. But damn, that was amazing! She wants much more. If only she could push him down and drink more! She almost dug her fingers inside his back trying to restrain herself. Juri released him and wiped the blood from her chin with her thumb, licked it afterwards. "So, do you believe me now?" she asked full of confidence.

"You understand what coming with me means?" She nodded wildly.

"If I cannot be with you in the future then there is no meaning for me to hope for a happy one. Plus…don't you want me with you? Do you want to never see me again?"

He looked at her as if fighting his desires. Of course he wants her with him but he also wants her to be safe. There is a reason why he did not ask her from the beginning to come with him. This girl means more than his life to him. "Put her bag in the trunk." Haruka grabbed her cold hand.. "You already accepted but I say that again: you have no idea what you are doing. You will never be able to leave my sight. Juri, you will never have a man other than me in your life." She looked at him with questioning eyes but she decided to keep quiet. She cannot risk not being taken by Haruka.

"I never regret my decisions." She clenched tight his fingers. If they are together everything will be just fine.

She stepped inside the black car and made herself comfortable. Haruka remained outside to tell his people about the following days. "I feel a lot better." Juri touched her chest. Well, she is not as new but taking into account that she is dying she feels better.

The door opened and Haruka stepped inside. "Put your seat bell." Juri nodded and did as he said. "You look incredibly happy."

"I am. This is so exciting!" She never walked outside that town. She feels happy to see new places and finally experience life. But she is happy to be with Haruka. "So, where are we going?"

"It is not a great place. It is hidden deep inside the woods. It is a lonely place where nobody walks." Haruka cleared his throat seeing Juri disappointed out of the sudden. She really wanted to see new places. My father built that house for us but he and Rido will remain here." Juri shrugged her shoulders and looked at him. He said that his father and brother remain here so why is he leaving this place? It is not like he is hunted. As a pureblood even if other vampires cannot accept his decisions they have to respect them. "How did you run away from your father?"

"He is a person who always keeps a close eye on me. Father punished me not too long ago although I am an adult. I said nothing to them before leaving. I didn't even write a note. Saya was there and helped me with my luggage by throwing it outside the window. We also jumped from there and left as fast as possible." She still has no regrets. Even if she might never see her parents again it is fine. She looked at Haruka. He was glancing at her from time to time. He wanted to say something but he didn't find the courage to do so. "I will never run away from you." Juri red Haruka very well and that surprised him a little. He never expected this little girl to pay that much attention to him.

"Why me?" he asked. Part of him wanted to know but the other part feared that she might hurt him with some unreasonable statement.

"Because it has to be you. Don't ask why because I have no idea. Both my heart and head tell me to follow you wherever you go." Juri looked at Haruka ready to ask him something but he felt that what was coming would start a fight so he changed the subject fast.

"You will have to hide from your families," he said cutting her preventing her from speaking. "You might have to stay inside the house but don't take it as house arrest."

"I will be fine," she said gloomy. Haruka is not a fair person but she always knew this. She always knew that he had a good way of controlling her.

"If you understand my real intentions then it is fine. I don't want you to think that I keep you away from society for some crazy reason." Haruka looked at her but she kept on staring outside the window. "My brother and father might come during this month. I want you to meet them." She nodded absent minded. "Juri…"

"Haruka," she abruptly cut him off. "Have we ever met before that night in the park?" Juri always felt her attachment as unnatural but she never questioned Haruka. She was sure that there was something wrong with her and not with him but now that she thinks a little it is strange. She has changed too much since she met him. She even left her home with no regrets. Haruka kept quiet. "Then tell me about that woman!"

He once again cleared his throat. He clenched the wheel harder as if trying not to sink in despair. He cleared his throat again and licked his lips. "We slept together a couple of time." He moistened his lips again. Juri sighed knowing very well that he will tell her that. "I told you because you really insist on this matter. You are already mine so I am not taking you home," he kept on muttering.

"I already knew that. It is not that hard to guess, you know?" This was the first thing to cross her mind. She cannot do anything about his past. She was not even born when he met that woman for the first time. But she is hurt thinking that they had that kind of past.

"What about you?" She blinked and looked at him surprised. "You are clearly not fine. You can barely walk and your presence is low. I did not even notice you were behind me."

"I am fine."

"That little blood won't help you for long. Now that you know the taste you will eventually lose control once pain returns."

"I will be fine," she cut him off annoyed. Why do people live under the impression that she does not understand her situation? She knows what death is. She knows that at this rate she will get sicker and maybe lose control. But what can she do? She does not want to have blood and live an eternal life of suffering. Everything is falling apart around her. Even she is falling apart. People like her transform human children in beasts. People like her destroy humanity's peace. And…people like her destroy me… father…

He looked at her as if wanting to stop the car and give her a piece of his mind. "Juri, I am not letting you die."

"That is not for you to decide!" Stop it. It is not his fault. He lived his life the way he wanted and she cannot say anything about it. Once she dies he will need another friend and that woman will take her place. "I am coming with you but I hope you do understand that I will not always listen to you." _I can't!_ "You will have to respect my decision."

"We are here," Haruka announced after two hours of road trip. They hardly spoke after that. She was in a bad mood… so was he. He called her stubborn before ignoring her the rest of the road. She was pleased because at least they did not have to speak about her dying and everything else. _'If I die…I…won't die….Will I? Even if I do… I do not see a way back…'_

Haruka stopped the car in front of the entrance and took off his seat belt. Juri stepped outside and looked up at the house that was intimidating her with its height. This is their house… She walked backwards to see better the house. It is a big, old house. She wonders when his father built that house. There are few windows but they're huge. They are covered with dust and spider web. A drip of sweat rested on her forehead. The house is kind of hair-raising: it is mostly covered with spider web and creeper. Besides this, everything else is fine. There is a round balcony with a door made from glass. Since the windows are dirty it is hard to see inside but she can imagine that the inside must be dusty as well. The house is in a good shape. On top of it rests a crow which makes strange sounds and Juri does not like its presence there. "What kind of insects live here?" She asked with a blue face. These webs are covering almost the whole house. She can bet that there are some monstrous spiders.

"Pretty much like everywhere. Don't worry." He grabbed her middle and pulled her closer to him. "Do you think that you can live here?" She nodded hoping she really can manage it.


	12. Chapter 12

Haruka could not help but feel happy all the time. True, he has a lot of work and the house is big but watching Juri freak out over everything makes him enjoy the night. He had no idea that a person like Juri can easily be scared by spiders or crickets. He lived under the impression that she was much stronger and she could handle anything on her own. He keeps on forgetting that Juri is a child and that she actually did not live the way he did. She was kept inside the house most of her childhood so he cannot really blame her for being so silly. In a way, she is discovering the world next to him and this makes him feel proud. He somehow feels sorry for her: she was alone for so long that she can easily adapt to loneliness and lack of company. Nobody should accept such a life and yet Juri chose it again just to be with him. In a way he feels like Juri has strength she is unaware of. _'She gave up her happiness for someone like me…'_ He thought feeling like he is deceiving her. Haruka wanted her to stay with her family but he was hopping she would be reckless and follow a man she does not love but could fall in love with if she knew him better. He stopped brooming and looked at her. She was desperately trying to push a cricket outside the window with her broom. He smiled thinking that she is beyond cute. In the beginning he thought that she was mean and spoiled but after learning more about her he could not help but pity her. His Juri had a though life and here he is: secluding her from her few friends and civilization.

Haruka did not love Juri from the beginning. At first he thought that she was arrogant and he could not accept the idea of being hit with a shoe. He thought it was funny but God knew what else she could throw at him. But he became intrigued. That child had no fear and tried her best to fight although she was inexperienced. When he had her blood he became aware of her strong feelings for a human being. He never thought that a proud woman like her actually loved another being and was willing to give everything away. That made him want all that love to himself. He finally found a vampire respecting humans the way he did. Now he gets angry thinking how her heart was stolen by a human being but thanks to that he found her. He has nothing with that man but he cannot accept that his Juri thinks about another man.

"A human…" She thought that a human was better than him… She clearly did not know him back then but how could she fall for a human and not with him. Haruka shook his head. No, he cannot think about the past. She no longer loves that man…or at least he thinks she doesn't. The problem with Juri is that she clearly feels something for him but she says that she doesn't love him. He feels lost and insecure. What would she do if he were to touch her? Would she hate him? Would she try to run away from him? He smiled to himself. She might try but she cannot escape him easily. There it is: he is involuntarily trying to control her. He feels like a criminal. Haruka does not want to corrupt her but to love her. Why must she be so hard to understand?

"Juri," he called seeing her still fighting with that cricket. "How about you go and check the meal? I don't want it to burn," he carefully said trying not to give her the impression that she is of no help. Even if she really wasn't doing much. She looked at him for some seconds and that made his stomach knot. She understood him too well.

"I am nervous," she admitted and put the broom down. "Your father is coming and we only have some chicken and mushrooms." He smiled seeing her worried. Boy he loves this girl! Why can't she be more sincere with her feelings?

"He will appreciate it. This is the first time we cook after all."

"Right…" she walked away leaving him restless. Is she mad? Is she nervous? Is she fine?! Now that he sees her all the time he feels more worried than when she was away from him. He sighed and sat on the coach. He needs a break…

Juri walked inside the kitchen and checked the meal. She imagined how things should be done so she had no idea how it will eventually turn out like. Her meal is pure fiction so she can only hope for it to turn out decent. She leaned over the table and looked down embarrassed. She has no idea how to face Haruka. They slept together because of a certain incident and she cannot help but think that Haruka might misunderstand. She did not want to sleep with him but she was scared and she simply went to his room without thinking. He might think that she had some indecent thoughts and this is killing her. She would never do anything to him. "…or with him…" she blushed again. What is she going to do?!

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _On the first day, after he gave up trying to make her sleep with him and shown_ _her_ _another room,_ _she_ _fell in bed ready to sleep._ _She_ _was ready to forget about everything and relax_ _her_ _stiff body._ _She_ _was too lazy to take a shower so_ _she_ _simply brushed_ _her_ _teeth and_ _jumped inside_ _her_ _pajama._ _She calls them pajamas but it was only a long shirt. Her_ _head leaned over the pillow. It was like_ _she_ _was standing on a cloud._ _She did nothing all day but she felt tired and old. She felt old and she was far from that!_ _The room was quiet. It seemed like the perfect place to sleep. But at some point t_ _he pillow seemed to_ _be_ _mov_ _ing_ _so_ _she_ _opened_ _her_ _eyes._ _She froze in that position, desperately trying to hear or sense something. But there was clearly nobody in her room. Well, nobody alive. She gulped and moved the pillow a little._ _It was such a huge mistake._ _She_ _would have been happier ignoring the th_ _ing_ _. But no,_ _she_ _had to see the problem. From under_ _her_ _pillow, a lizard_ _with_ _black with yellow_ _dots had_ _shown up. In the beginning_ _she_ _was calm cause_ _her_ _view was blurry a_ _s she_ _was really tired._ _When she_ _realize_ _d that_ _the monster_ _was real, it was_ _already touching the tip of_ _her_ _nose_ _with its tongue_ _._ _She remained calm._ _She really wanted it to be a dream but the tongue was cold and wet_ _._ _On top of that, v_ _ampires don't have dreams so it was strange._

 _"GYAH!"_ _she_ _screamed_ _her_ _heart out before rolling to the ground._ _Her_ _head hit with power the floor,_ _completely waking her up_ _._ _She_ _rolled like a ball to the door and in one second_ _she_ _was crying after Haruka on the hall way. "HARUKA! HARUKA!" He didn't even have time to react. In_ _one_ _second_ _she_ _was already bu_ _r_ _sting inside his room, sweating and panting._ _He was standing naked in the middle of the room, drinking some water from a bottle._ _His body was still wet and he had a towel covering him from hips and knees._ _Juri did not see Haruka and she simply jumped inside his bed and underneath the blanket._ _Once again he didn't have time to even say_ _her_ _name or be surprised by_ _her_ _intrusion_ _._

 _"Since this is the first time in this house it is fine to sleep together. But ONLY this day!" she told him. He kept on looking at_ _her_ _until he realized that it was pointless and even troublesome to ask._ _She_ _curled_ _under_ _the blanked but_ _got_ _her_ _head out to see him. She wanted to make sure he agrees having her there, sleeping with him. He was still in the middle of the room_ _looking at her. He was feeling lost_ _. Juri looked at Haruka from his face to his feet._ _His hair was wet and curly_ _._ _Her_ _cheeks_ _got_ _pink_ _when she realized that he was naked_ _. His chest was wet and although he has no muscles she cannot help but stare at his pink nipples, flat belly and at the towel. Why did it have to be a long towe_ _l, she asked herself disappointed._ _The way drips of water fall from his hair and on his face_ _and_ _chest_ _is_ _making_ _her feel_ _strange. Something_ _was definitely_ _building up in_ _side_ _of her_ _._ _She_ _bit_ _her_ _lips and kep_ _t_ _on starring at the towel._ _Hear breath became heavy and hot at his sight. She_ _feels ashamed but she cannot help but stare at him._ _. How can she look at him like that after invading his privacy? That was not the time to sexually harass him_ _._ _Although, she really hoped the towel would fall down and allow her to see more. She had never seen a naked man before and now seemed the right moment to see one._

 _"What did you find in your room?" he asked. His voice seem_ _ed_ _very close._ _She_ _blinked and turned her head to the sides to see Haruka siting on the bed. He_ _was_ _with his back at_ _her._ _She g_ _ulp_ _ed seeing his body so close_ _. His back_ _wa_ _s wet and Juri felt the urge to reach it and touch it._ _She had no idea why he suddenly felt so attractive._ _She_ _never felt like th_ _at_ _before. It must_ _have_ _be_ _en_ _because he_ _wa_ _s a man_ _…_ _a naked one…_ _. Juri got some strands of hair behind her ear and swallowed harshly._

 _"It was…" She suddenly felt embarrassed and stupid for reacting like that, "it was nothing…" she quietly answered him question._

 _"After screaming like that there has to be something," he said amused. Haruka liked the reaction he caused her and he wanted more. He wanted to see her longing for him just the way he does.._

 _"It was nothing!" she insisted and threw the blanket aside. How can she tell him she was scared of a stupid lizard? This is a new world for her and she does not know how to cope with it. Juri slowly walked to the bed. Her cheeks were pink and she she could not help but regret not being able to look at him a little bit longer._

 _"I am sorry so come back…"_ _She_ _opened the door_ _to leave when h_ _e stopped_ _it_ _with his palm. Haruka leaned closer to her and whispered into her ear. "I am sorry." Drops of water fell from his hair over her shoulder. He wants her there, inside his bed. How can he miss the change of sleeping with her? Juri is the only woman he cannot make his no matter how much he tries. Haruka grabbed_ _her_ _palm and_ _slowly_ _closed the door._ _He did not want to make her feel trapped but he never managed to affect her like that before. Her_ _heart skipped a beat._ _He sensed her nervousness and thought that maybe he has a chance with her. The idea made even his heart beat fast. He feels like a virgin again. Where was this woman all his life? She slowly turned and he got her hand to his mouth. He looked into her eyes while kissing her_ _fingers. Juri looked at him with lips parted in surprise._ _He knew that she was like a trapped bunny but he couldn't restrain himself. He admitted a long time ago that he wants her. He goes crazy after her blood and her body is making him scream for her. He somehow managed to restrain himself from doing more than he already did that night at the party. Her skin was smooth and he felt like it was the right moment to do it but she is not the type of woman to do such things. She cannot be touched like that without making her feel guilty or dirty._

 _Haruka licked one of her fingers making her blush. Juri felt so ashamed that she_ _jerked_ _her_ _hand away from his grip._ _. She felt like he was raping her and she had to do something. His stare seemed dangerous and she couldn't help but feel like he wanted something from her, more than she could give_ _. Like that night in the park: he was touching her like she was his and although she liked it she did not want it to lead to other things. She was not raised like that._

 _"Don't_ _be like this_ _…"_ _she said looking embarrassed at her feet._

 _"Like what?" he asked taking a step closer to her. He knows he has some effect on her but he doesn't know if it is a good or a bad thing. He really cannot read Juri. She wants to be with him but she says it is not love but friendship. She is affected by his touch but she won't say the reason, making him believe that she is simply feeling insecure or scared by the situation._

 _"You know…" Juri leaned over the door. Haruka also leaned closer._

 _"I don't," he whispered next to her rear._

 _"…Making fun of me…"_

 _"I'm sorry," he said raising her chin and looking into her eyes. She is clearly disturbed and everything is his fault but…he likes the taste of teasing her. Who knows when will he be able to do this again? "Forgive me," he muttered not feeling sorry at all. Before she could beg him not to fool with her anymore she was already in his arms. He was carrying her to his bed, like a princess. Juri gulped embarrassed at the thought that she might do something really bad. She panicked the moment he laid her down. She watched him getting on top of her, hands keeping him above her body._

 _"Don't…" she begged. She doesn't understand him at all._

 _His chest hurts seeing her frightened underneath him. He wants her so much that he would risk having her hate him forever if he could have her that day. "_ _Don't what?"_

 _Juri bit her lower lip embarrassed. „Don't do this..." She can feel his erection pressing over her right thigh. She wants him to touch her just like that night in the park. Juri reacher his chest with her fingers. She wants to tocu him too._

 _"I hope you have a good sleep," he said kissing her forehead and getting away from her. She remained there, looking at the ceiling. She was relieved and disappointed at the same time. Juri was not frightened by what Haruka was doing. She was scared because she could not understand her feelings. She doesn't love Haruka as a man. She is sure of this but she cannot help but hope for a little more. She wanted him to continue but she feared what he might think. Maybe he was testing her. She wanted him but she couldn't understand his intentions. She doesn't want to destroy their relationship._

 _End of flashback_

* * *

After the meal was properly cooked, or so she thought it was, she walked to her room and took a shower. She has to properly clean herself as tonight they have important guests. She can worry about what happened today but she cannot change what she did. If he thinks that she is indecent then…well, he is damn right. She thought about doing things with him but she didn't so he cannot really accuse her of anything. And she is sure that he did not read her mind. If he did he would've… NO! She shook her head. Friends do not do this! Juri got on her knees and focused on her phone.

"Should I wear something tight?" she asked looking to the closet. She doesn't have many clothes... She only grabbed a few things and it seems she missed the really important ones.

"You are meeting his father and brother so wear something decent!" Saya screamed through the phone. She is on speaker trying to help Juri choose something to wear.

She frowned. She says decent but it is kind of difficult. The clothes that she has are not that decent and not even good for the event… A drip of sweat rested on her forehead. "I have a dress that reaches my knees. The material is of a pale pink….You know it?"

"Yeah but…it is has a deep cleavage…" Well yeah but she has no other dresses. This is the last option. This is the only dress she took from her closet.. "It is not like I have breasts so I will wear this one."

"It is true... Are you nervous?"

"Are you kidding me? Of course I am! They are high class people who don't even come to parties."

"The only parties where I saw Haruka-sama was on the one held by him this year and at Himika's wedding." That is why they never met before that incident. "Juri, should I send you some clothes?"

"You cannot come here …"

"I know but Haruka-sama will definitely meet up with Ryu one of these days. They are best friends so it is normal. I will go today and buy you some clothes and give them to Ryu. Ok?" her voice sounded playful. That little bitch is using her to get closer to Ryu.

"You told Ryu that I run away from home?" she asked annoyed. Nobody was supposed to know where she is!

"I did not such thing. He knows from Haruka-sama."

A knock on the door made her cover her bust with the dress. "Juri, they are here," Haruka said and walked away.

She nodded and pulled the dress over her head. She closed the phone and walked to the mirror. Nothing is out and the dress stays well on her middle. She grabbed a scarf and put it around her shoulders. That should cover her cleavage well enough. She looks as decent as she can with the clothes she has.

She feels nervous. No matter the situation she is a runaway child. Haruka's father might be angry with his son for allowing her to run away from her family. He might also try to convince her of go back home. She is in no position to quarrel with the king of all vampires. Or is he? Since they left the Senate they might also abdicate. They might no longer have a king to decide over those people from the Senate. And then what will happen? Will there really be a war? What is going to happen with her?

She touched her face with her fingers. Juri lacks the confidence to meet someone who is so proud of what he is. She is the vampire who neglects her instincts and refuses to be like everyone else. She is aware that her presence is low and that she is a disgrace for all purebloods but this is who she is. She is different. She is unique. She has what many lack: humanity. Juri slid her fingers through her hair. Tonight her chest started hurting again. Haruka probably knows that she is slowly running out of time but he has yet to come up with a plan and she fears that he might destroy all her principles. He might try to convince her to change but she likes who and what she is. Saya told her once: _'It is a shame and a waste that someone like you was born a pureblood. How many would give everything to have your powers and status. Even I would...'_ She doesn't know! Nobody knows the pain of being a pureblood! Nobody knows how frightening it is the idea of living an eternity hating what you are: an unwanted child who could never be human. She wanted to be human, just like her classmates. She watched them enjoying sunny days, going on dates with their lovers, doing all the fun things and having the possibility to travel. She will never have any of those. She will never travel… She was most likely watched from her first day as a student. Juri would give anything to have freedom… But she chose Haruka and everything will remain only a dream. She is not dumb. She knows he is hiding things from her and she knows he not going to let her do whatever she wants.

She shook her head. Now is not the time to worry about that. She cannot keep everyone waiting. She has to be brave and meet those people who came all the way here. If they try to change her mind and force her to go back home she has to be strong and oppose. There is nothing waiting for her at home. Death comes with her no matter where she goes. She stepped with confidence to the stairs. Nobody should be allowed to decide for her. She now knows that being the pureblood princess means nothing: she has no authority. Juri looked to the double door separating her from the guests. Once she reaches that door nobody knows what will happen. Vampires cannot be trusted. Just because they are Haruka's family that doesn't mean that they are good people.

"What are you doing?" Haruka saw her staring at the door and got worried. He knows she is not in a good shape. He climbed up the stairs and reached her hand. "Let's go."

"I want to stay in my room," she whispered. "It is impossible for me to meet your family. I don't know what to do…"

"Nobody will eat you. I will be right next to you the entire time." He put his hand over her shoulder. "Come on. They are waiting for us."

She closed her eyes and nodded. It is rude to make someone wait but she is really nervous. What should she do? She attended a couple of parties but none of the people present there were worth worrying over. Haruka grabbed her middle to make sure she doesn't run anywhere. She clenched her hands in front of her belly. Should she bow before or after greeting them? Should she first introduce herself? No, she will do the first thing she can think of in that moment. Haruka opened the door and they stepped inside the living room. Two men are sitting on the sofa with their backs at them.

"Good evening." She made a deep bow. Once again she can feel her heart beating very fast. This is harder than she feared it would be. "I am Juri. It is a pleasure." 'Please say something', she thought. She kept on bowing. Haruka grabbed her shoulders and raised her up. The two men are already up and looking at her. Her cheeks are getting pink. Did they also say something and she didn't hear?

"I see. So she is the woman that disappeared without a trace," said the man with mismatching eyes. She is a pureblood. It is normal for people to panic if one disappears without a trace but she did not expect for people outside her family to look for her.

"So you are the famous pureblood princess," Haruka's father said approaching them. The hair on her back is rising. This man has a strong presence. "Haruka, make space for her to breathe." His father motion him to let go of her waist and step aside.

"No, I am fine," she said. The man was only one step away from her and that was causing her breathing difficulty! The way he looks at her is making her skin shiver. She looked back at him and for a moment her heart hurt. It was a different kind of pain: she felt nostalgic for a reason. The man reminds her of somebody she knows very well. This is the first time they meet but she feels like he is an old acquaintance. The man kept on looking at her as if she were some rare jewel. He seems to see in her more than just a child her son took with him. She cannot help herself but be attracted to him. She feels the need to put distance between them but at the same time to be close to him and get to know him better. Juri did what she always does when she is at a party: she put on an emotionless poker face and pretend to be unimpressed by him. This is what her father taught her to do.

"Juri?" Haruka clenched harder my middle. She blinked and looked at him. "Are you fine?"

"No…" She looked back at the man. "It may sound rude but do I know you?" He smiled kindly at her.

"I don't know. Do you?" She slowly shook her head. No, this is her first time seeing him but it feel like they have a connection. He is kind. Just like Haruka said. She feels no threaten from him. She feels about this man the way she feels about Haruka: she cannot stop being curious about him.

"Juri, bring the food," said Haruka hoping to break the trance. She nodded and walked to the kitchen. This saved her. She can finally breathe the way she is supposed to. She rested her fingers on her neck. Saya said not to be stiff but she cannot be herself. Not after she saw his father. She somehow had the feeling that she was looking at the male version of herself. It is so strange. They never met before and their families have no connections yet she feels like they do. It feels like she is supposed to know him and something is attracting her to him.

She opened the door and walked inside the kitchen. Argh… Her heart is beating so fast. This attraction is so strange. She sat on a chair in front of the window and looked outside. Did she make a bad decision when she left home? Her father is looking all over the world to find her. But probably not because he misses her, but because she went against him. Or maybe he is worried sick about her and she is hurting him. Still, her father never said that he loves her or anything close to that. She cannot even remember a day in which he hugged her. All she knows is that she loves him very much no matter what he does. People are not perfect. Maybe one day he will understand what she did.

Sigh... She got up and walked to the oven from where she took out the food. It looks nicely done but she has not tasted it yet. She hopes they won't get a stomach pain or food poisoning. She tried her best to make it delicious but this is her first time cooking. She walked down the hallway with the food. The worst part already passed so she can try staying calm around them. _What about his father?_ His father has nothing to do with her. She will try her best for him to accept her as his daughter. If he doesn't then it is still fine. She is here for Haruka not for his father. _You really believe that?_ Of course she does. Haruka took her with him because he trusts her as a friend. He has problems to solve with the Senate not with his family. They are there supporting each other.

She stepped inside the room. The three men are sitting at the table, drinking gin and talking. They are speaking about what was going on in the Senate. It seems that people are trying to bring them back. If Haruka decides to go back then she will have to go home. She doesn't want to go home.

She put the meal in the center of the table. "It is my first time cooking so please don't expect it to be high class. If the food is bad we have fresh fruit in the fridge…" She said and sat right next to Haruka. Probably too near him. Their elbows could hit at any moment.

"It smells good," Haruka tried to make her feel more relaxed.

"Leaving the smell aside, the taste is important," his brother grabbed a fork and barbarically pierced a piece of chicken.

This man has no name at all? She pulled Haruka's sleeve. He looked away from the meat. "What should I call him?" I whispered.

"Oh. Onii-sama you didn't introduce yourself yet." Her heart skipped a beat. He could have told her the name. She glared at him but he only smiled back.

Before he had time to put the food in his mouth he stopped and put it on the plate. The man looked at her a little. She wouldn't call him a beauty but it is true that he has some charm. Still, he gives her a bad feeling. "Rido," he simply said.

She clenched my fists over her thighs. "Rido…sama…" It would be better to call him onii-sama? Haruka does that but they are brothers. It would be rude to speak freely with him. It is true that she is not a person to worry about such things but right now she is surrounded only by strong vampires and nobody to help her.

"Go ahead and call me Rido." Haruka put his hand over hers and clenched it. She looked at him for a second them back to the two men. Haruka's father tested the food.

"It is the first time, right?" he asked eyeing her. She nodded wildly. "It is good."

"Yeah, it is fine," Rido approved.

Really? She looked at Haruka. Somehow she is even more nervous. It is important for her to have his approval. Her heart is beating so fast. He tasted the meat and began to chew. Saliva is getting caught in her throat. It is getting hard to breathe… "Very good," he nodded. She smiled widely. As long as Haruka likes it she doesn't care anymore.

"You are not eating?" his father asked.

"No. I am not that hungry."

The room is quiet. She can only hear the fork hitting the plate and the pouring rain from outside. Her eyes searched the surroundings from outside. The trees are whipped with power by the strong wind. No life is moving outside. It is just like Haruka said: lonely.

Her hand never parted from Haruka's but she eventually released it. He was having difficulty eating with only one hand.

"I heard that your father wasn't exactly understanding with you," the Kuran leader said.

Her eyes narrowed at his sudden comment. She didn't expect him to talk about her father. "No…" What is the point of bringing that up? She already made up her mind and her father has nothing to say… not until he catches her at least. "…he was the best. He kept me safe for 18 years. I must look ungrateful for walking away like this. This is why I will accept any punishment from him if he were to find me." She will take it all.

"He might do that. He is angry after all." He talks as if he knows very well the way her father treats her. Nobody can possibly know that unless they have lived in that house.

"He will be gentle," she said trying to spare her father from a bad reputation.

"Will he? If I remember correctly he punished you once for bringing a stray cat inside your house," he said grabbing his gin. What is this? She expected the man to make her feel bad for leaving her family but he is actually giving her reasons to be happy about her decision. Juri kept on staring at the man. He looked back at her. But more importantly, how does he know about the stray cat? Nobody should know about that. Even she forgot about it. She was barely eight back then.

"He was worried about me."

"Because the cat might bite?" he insisted.

"Because vampires can possess animals," she said exasperated. She knows that they might try to get her using such ways. The man kept quiet. They looked at each other for a while before Juri decided she has to leave the room. "I will bring some oranges." He looked at his gin and nodded. That man is making her feel uncomfortable.

After cleaning the table and bringing the oranges she was able to sit on the couch and take a break. That man makes her feel tired. Or maybe she thinks his attack was personal. She left the men speak about politics and she sat by herself on the couch, peeling a fresh orange. Her leg is getting numb again. She woke that night with chest pain but now the pain is extending. Even her eyes feel tired and lack light. She feels dull and worthless. What will she do if tomorrow she wakes up blind? She will only pull Haruka down. She came with him to help him but she might only worry him.

Rido put his drink on the coffee table and sat next to her. "So, how is life here?" he asked amused.

"The place still needs to be cleaned so Haruka and I managed to do only this room and our bedrooms. Dust is everywhere and it is hard to get rid of all of it." He looks nice and all but she remembers the night she found Haruka hurt under the cherry tree. She cannot let him fool her. He might seem nice but a really nice guy would never hurt his own brother.

"You and Haruka, ha?" he grabbed his glass and looked at it. "He has a nasty past with my fiancé." She knew it! He will get revenge on her after all. "I don't really mind since we don't share feelings or anything like that." For a second she thought that he might rape her or something.

"I am sorry. She is still your fiancé."

"Only decided by others." He looked at her with his mismatching eyes. They suit him well. "Let's be friends. This is the first time I meet a person like you."

"Don't mention it…" Why is he so nice to her? Juri really cannot trust this man.

"Since you will be alone soon I will come visit you."

"Rido, we are heading home," Haruka's father said before she had the chance to respond. She doesn't exactly want the man to come when she is alone. He nearly killed Haruka.

Haruka and Juri walked the two gentlemen to the door. The three men shook hands. Rido was the first to walk outside. Haruka went after him to say something. Their father remained in the house looking at her. She still feels like they know each other. It is such a strange feeling. "Call me father from now on." She looked surprised at him. "Welcome to the family Juri."

Something is fishy there… She can believe that Haruka is a nice vampire but she really cannot say the same thing about his father. He doesn't look like Haruka… He hurt her speaking rudely about her real father. "Thank you very much…o…o-oto-sama!" He smiled warmly at her before waving his hand while walking out.

"Oh, and another thing," he said and abruptly turned to face her. "We have only one body so we should treasure it. Don't be naïve Juri, nobody will appreciate you for living a life like this." She watched him for a few seconds before he entered inside his car. She cannot trust these people… They are way too nice and a family of vampires only with nice members does not exist yet. On top of that he just made fun of her.

"Should we go to bed?" Haruka asked while closing the door. She blinked and looked at the smiling man. He stopped in front of her waiting for her response.

"Yeah…" she nodded.


	13. Chapter 13

As soon as the maids came the house was miraculously changed. They somehow managed to get rid of all the spider web and the spiders and crickets were forced to move outside. The house became lively with all the people moving around. Even Juri was feeling a lot better to hear sounds, even if those were sounds of plates being put one over another. She somehow managed to accept that Haruka has to leave a lot and solve problems he refuses to let her now. This was not that bad as she was constantly nagged by him telling her how weak she became. She already knows that! It is she who cannot get out of bed or rise from a chair without getting tired. It is she who sleeps more and more and cannot wake up. It is she who gave up meat because she has no power to chew. And it is she who started losing threatening amounts of hair. She is slowly falling apart like she has some illness.

She does not feel lonely having everyone inside the house and she constantly receives visits from Rido and his father. She hates both men but she is willing to speak with them as they are Haruka's family. She cannot just shut them out and act like they are worthless beings.. Rido never said anything about her situation but Yuusei, their father, constantly reminded her that she will not win anything if she acts that way. She knows that but people telling her that she will eventually give in deserve to be proven wrong. She wants to show them that with will she can do anything. After all, she left home just because she wanted to and nothing could stop her.

Yuusei came last week with some documents for Haruka. Since Haruka was not home he had to wait for him for two hours. During that time he enjoyed some cheesecake and coffee with Juri. And she noticed that he was really enjoying being with her, speaking with her, seeing her. His eyes resemble Haruka's when he is really happy. But she also noticed a constant sadness whenever she would suddenly cough or feel dizzy. He seemed to notice every change she had and somehow forced himself not to touch her. "There is nothing I can do to change your way?" he finally asked sensing Haruka approaching the house. He put his cup down and got up.

Juri felt happy for a second. Not every day the king of all vampires is worried about someone like her. She knows that the number of purebloods is going down and that is most likely why he is so worried. "No." When the moment comes she will give everything she has to Haruka and then, she will happily die. Anything helping Haruka is worth dying for.

After that meeting Juri's condition worsened. She finally reached the stage where she really can't get out of bed. No matter how many tablets she takes she cannot regain her strength. Her desire for blood is driving her crazy. Juri crashed over her pillow and looked outside the window: it is a peaceful summer night. She can hear an owl nearby. The summer night sky is wonderful: many constellations can be seen and Juri is enjoying calling them out. She knows a lot about stars from her mother. That is the only thing she taught her when she was smaller and she made sure to remember each and every word her mother said. If only she could live that moment again: sitting in her mother's lap in their garden and speaking about stars. She would give anything to have her mother even now, holding her hand and telling her that she will make it.

Juri glanced down at her own wrist. She can feel her fangs poking her lips in desire. If only her own blood would be enough…If only she could survive by herself and ignore the existence of other people. Her body is not the only thing growing weaker; her heart is getting milder, melancholic. Her nose caught the scent of blood. Juri blinked surprised by the sudden drive she has to jump out of bed and jump over the wounded person. She hugged herself and bit her lip in despair. "NO!" she screamed trying to restrain herself. "PLEASE!" she tossed inside her bed like a crazy person. She started panting. "I need…NO! I don't! But I want!" she started crying by herself. Juri fell over her pillow and looked at the ceiling. She is soaked wet with sweat. "Fuck this…"

A sudden knock at the door brought her back to sanity. Juri arranged her hair with her fingers and properly sat on her rear. "Enter," she said.

Rido walked inside her room leaving the door open. "I've brought you cherries." He closed the door with his foot and looked around the room. "You two sleep together?" He walked to her bed and sat next to her.

"Something like that. Haruka insisted." He said that she needs to be watched. "But since he is most of the time busy it's like I sleep by myself." Her heart beats fast. She noticed his pale neck. _'_ _It would feel great if I could bite_ _him._ _I want to drink this person's blood._ _'_ She moved closer to him. _'_ _His blood is so…_ _'_ Juri almost reached the man's shoulder when she blinked and changed her direction to the cherries. "Haruka is home," she said relieved. The house is filled with the sweet smell of his presence. Juri almost forgot that seconds ago wanted Rido's blood. She would much rather have Haruka's. Even only a drop would please her. Rido searched her expression. He noticed her cheeks are a little pink and her eyes are shiny. For a second he thought that she will throw him down and drink his blood but he was disappointed to see that she still has some control.

"You sure love this guy a lot…" he scratched the top of his head.

"I love Haruka as a brother."

"I have business with him so I am going." His hand reached the back of her neck. She opened her mouth in surprised as he pulled her closer to him. From the corner of her eyes she saw him approaching her as she fell towards him. His lips touched her cheek in a long kiss. He backed off and looked at her to see if she had a reaction. His hand caressed her neck before getting up. "Bye," he said before closing the door. Juri remained still. She felt a little embarrassed. The only person she kissed was her sensei… "His lips touched the corn of mine…" She bit her lower lip. "He made it clear that he wanted my blood just as much as I wanted his…" Juri caressed her neck remembering his hot touch. "He had no business with Haruka…He wanted me…" She hated the man but she wants his blood! The sweet scent of blood.

Juri threw the cherries down as she lost control again. If only she could drink some blood. "Please…Give me…" she started crying again. She will do anything to feel better. Juri jumped out of her bed and stumped to the door. Her eyes got reddish and the moment Haruka opened the door she jumped him down. He was so surprised and before he could react his back already hit the floor. Juri dug her hands inside his flesh and licked her lips. "Please…" she begged him. She needs him to stop her before she does something regretful. She started patting in despair.

"You don't need to beg me Juri. You are doing this to yourself." He wiped her face from her sweaty face.

Juri's tears crushed over his face. "I hate you," she said leaning closer with her. Her fangs feel heavy. She falls to his neck. "You won't tell me anything important!" Before she could bit him she dug her fangs into her wrist. The impact was violent and drops of blood fell over Haruka's face. Her action was so surprising that he petrified, staring at her with big eyes. Juri got up and walked inside the room, closing the door behind her and leaning over it. She drank some of her blood before hiding her hand under the blanket. She slipped down the door until she sat her rear. "Why won't you tell me the truth?" she whispered on a crying voice. The very fact that he avoids answering her questions tells her that they did meet some time before. There is a connection between them but he won't tell her the truth.

"Saya sent you some things," he informed her. Juri shook her head throwing her tears over the floor. He is still avoiding her question.

"You are despicable. You do not deserve anything from me!" she shouted hiding her face. She leaned her head over her knees.

"You can blame me all you want Juri but everything is your paranoia. You fill your head with unrealistic ideas." Haruka touched the door with his hand. He knows she is there, crying her heart out. It was a mistake to take Juri with him. Now she is always there, picking up things she believes to be true. And he knows she is smart. He knows that sooner or later she will have all the answers she wants. They might not come from him but she will dig up the past and take the answers she needs. Ever since he met her he knew that if he gets closer to her she will find out the truth he really wishes to keep hidden. But he could not keep his distance from her. The world wanted them together and she kept on appearing before him. He thought he was running away from her but in reality he was going towards her. The moment he had her blood all his will was lost and he couldn't care less if she were to find out the truth. Her life was not exactly in balance and some more truth wouldn't change anything. But now, seeing her breaking apart he feels guilty. He cannot do anything because she will no listen.

"But…you can have my blood whenever you want…" his whispered, resting his forehead over the door.

* * *

 _Three months later_

Haruka is a liar and Juri knows this very well but tonight he kept his promise. He allowed Saya and Himika to visit her with the condition she stops acting like a rebel adolescent. In the beginning she felt insulted but after a while she realized she needs the company of the people she loves. She accepted to be more reasonable if he can bring her friends as soon as possible. She loves Haruka but she feels like he does not respect her the way he used to. He seems to be panicking all the time. Ever since that night…Juri closed her eyes remembering that awful night which panicked Haruka to the point he almost forced his blood down her throat. But she remained strong and told him that he has no power upon her.

The door opened and her two friends quietly entered inside the room, trying not to disturb the ill princess. They tiptoed towards Juri, scared they might find her dead. But Juri was simply lying on her back, inside her bed, resting her always tired eyes. She did not hear them enter but she sensed Haruka watching her so she opened her eyes, relieving her friends. They felt like a rock was lifted from their hearts. Juri looked right through them, to the man who was next to the door. He was staring at her small figure. Haruka was also relieved to see Juri opening her eyes. He had a small smile on his face when he closed the door and left the three girls alone.

"Juri…" Himika whispered seeing in what state her friend was. She grabbed Juri's hand as gently as she could. She felt like Juri could break in her grip.

"I shouldn't have left you come here," Saya said annoyed by her foolishness. "You are dying Juri…"

"I was dying then as well," Juri reminded her friend with a small smile on her face. She got on her rear with the help of her hands. Himika immediately arrange the pillow for Juri to lean on it. Juri thanked her friend with a smile and rested on her back. "Thank you…." She whispered to Himika. "Please…sit," she motioned them patting the bed. "If you need anything I can…"

"We are fine," Himika said sitting on the bed. "We are worried about you Juri…" She looked over her friend's body. "Please take care of yourself…"

Juri smiled to her friend. "I am. I eat healthy," Juri joked but only she could get her joke. Of course she eats healthy: she can only eat smashed vegetables and fruit juice.

"The Senate is a mess. Two pureblood vampires disappeared out of the sudden and nobody can find them," Saya said knowing very well she is also guilty for the situation. Juri did not say a word. She has no strength to talk anyway. She knows Saya is feeling guilty and she hates that she is the reason for her misery. Juri wishes she could hug her friend and tell her everything would be fine, even if it would be only a lie.

"The house is very well watched," Himika said feeling worried and relieved at the same time. She noticed men hiding inside the forest and men walking through the house as if anything could present a danger.

"They are Haruka's men." Juri looked outside the opened window. She is aware that someone outside is watching them not missing a word they are saying. She doesn't mind as she has nothing to hide but she would like a little bit of privacy.

Saya looked around the room before deciding to open a random closet. "So you share the room with Haruka-sama," she said pulling out one of his shirts.

"In theory…" In the beginning they were sleeping together but since her condition got worse, Haruka stopped sleeping with her. He does stay with her in bed until she falls asleep and he still keeps his clothes in the same room as her but he spends most of his time inside his office or living room. "I am so glad you two came…" Juri looked at both of them, excited to have her friends next to her. "I…am dying," at those words her friends looked at her with serious faces, "so I wanted to see you guys one more time before that."

"That is not going to happen!" Himika raised her voice. She could not restrain her tears anymore. "Haruka-sama won't let that happen!"

"You know he won't Juri, so how about giving up this attitude?" Saya finished Himika's sentence.

Juri clenched her fists under the blanket. Why does everyone want to destroy her? All she wants is a nice reunion but her friends are making things difficult. "This is what I want. I always wanted to be human!" Juri shouted as loud as she could but her voice was hoarse and she could not raise it much. Juri lost control over her emotions and she started crying. Yes, she wanted to be as close as she could to a human being. She knows how much harm people like her do to humans. All those level E because of beings like her… "I told Haruka that we also have hearts but I…" Juri slowly shook her head, "I killed human beings…I killed them for a stupid reason… People like me make level E and…" Juri started sobbing remembering all her fights from her past. She killed level E as if she were doing them a favor but in reality she was just killing them for her foolish dream: to become the pureblood princess. Well that did not change a thing, did it? She felt the same even after they named her princess. She was the same heartless woman she had always been, killing people to surpass a woman she hated. And what for? That woman was so much better than her. Juri bit her lower lip annoyed. "She was better than me and I always hated her," she admitted to her friends. "She was peaceful while I was violent… She never hurt anybody…" Her tears are trying to wash away her shame but they are doing a poor job. She got her title of princess by killing people who were victims. She never thought of saving anyone but herself.

Ever since her condition worsened Juri had a lot of time to think about her past decisions and she realized, without wanting to, that she was a stupid brat. Shizuka never hurt anyone. She never showed off her powers. She was nice and everyone liked her and that annoyed Juri the most. She had a difficult life and she wanted to be just like Shizuka… She wanted to be admired but her personality was nothing to look up to. By the time Haruka made her a living being with emotions she was already too obsessed to even notice that the disgusting vampire was her and not Shizuka. She is a hypocrite: she wanted to be like a human but she was acting like a beast. But that has nothing to do with her refusal to have blood. Her own blood seems to reject her…how can she have blood and live an eternal life under her father's control? "Haruka is so nice…I want to give this blood of mine to him. He can make the difference I cannot make…"

"You are a wonderful person Juri. You are nice and…"

"Himika," Saya cut her off. The girl looked at Saya surprised. "If she wants the truth then do not lie to her." Juri watched surprised her friend saying something like that. Saya sat next to Juri and looked into her eyes. "Some years ago we went to a party and the host offered some human children to his guests. You killed the noble the moment you saw him alone and pretended you did not know a thing. Nobody suspected you but I knew because I was watching you. You are not exactly nice…not with your kind at least." Juri gapped at her friend's story. She completely forgot about that incident. It was the first party she had ever attended and she lost control seeing those vampires sucking blood from those poor children. "You spare humans although you know they are no better than us. They make wars and kill each other but you only see vampires as beasts." Saya's fangs grew out. Her friend is stupid enough to believe that her death will change anything and that pisses her off. In the end, Juri just wants to save herself but she pretends to want to do something good.

"Saya!" Himika grabbed her shoulder and turned Saya to face her. "Do not upset her when she is in such a condition!"

"I know this," Juri quietly admitted. "But what could I do? Those children did not deserve that…" Nobody deserves to be the meal of somebody else. Maybe then she started changing…wishing she were different. But all this time she was walking towards destruction. She was becoming what she did not want to become. Haruka saved her… No….sensei was the first man to save her.

"You could have been like everybody else. Why are you so different?!" Saya nearly slapped Juri but the door forcefully opened and Haruka grabbed her hand. Everything happened so fast that nobody could even react. Juri was going to accept the slap as she knew she deserves it.

Haruka clenched violently the hand that was about to hit his beloved. His eyes are bloody red and he can hardly restrain himself from breaking the girl to pieces. Everyone was shocked by Haruka's sudden appearance inside the room. Haruka clenched harder the hand, making Saya flinch in pain.

"Don't hurt her," Juri panted exhausted. "We are always like this…" Juri tried to reach Haruka but her view got blurry and she failed to touch him. "Haruka…"

"Do not exhaust her," Haruka threatened showing Saya his fangs. He released her hand and walked to the door. "Do not force yourself Juri…."

Saya grabbed her wrist and looked down. She is beyond annoyed by the situation in which her friend is. How did it get to this? Juri was never very healthy but she was able to walk and speak properly. She knows it is not his fault but he can force some blood down Juri's throat and save her! Look at her pitiful existence! Haruka closed the door and left the girls alone.

"I will get better Saya," Juri promised with a small smile on her face.

"At least do not lie…" Saya begged with tears in her eyes. "We all know that you will not give up this foolish idea of yours."

Juri looked at her best friend feeling sorry for the pain she is causing her. She knows that Yuusei is right and that nobody will build a statue for her and she knows that nobody will appreciate a pureblood dying such a foolish death. But Juri also knows that her father ignored her situation knowing very well she will die. So maybe he hopes she dies. But this has nothing to do with her father. And this has nothing to do with Haruka and everyone else. She will make the difference! She will be the first vampires to refuse blood until death. She will be the first vampire to have never bitten a human. And she will be the first vampire to give everything for another vampire. "It is not foolish Saya. I have nothing else to live for."

"Juri…" Himika interrupted. "You could at least live for the man who took you with him because you wanted a peaceful world." Juri gapped surprised at Himika. "I do not think he took you with him so you can die on him or to have your blood and get stronger." Himika hoped she could make Juri realize that Haruka does not need her blood to be a strong vampire and Juri understands her very well. She understands so well that the scar from her chest starts to pulse painfully. Juri swallowed harshly her pain and tears and kept a poker face. She does not want to make Himika realize just how strong her words are.

"I know." She knows Haruka will never have her blood while she is so close to death. Since she left home, Haruka never dared to drink her blood. She felt sad and empty but what could she do?

After her friends left, Haruka could not restrain himself from paying Juri a visit. It was almost five in the morning and Juri was beyond exhausted. She could barely stay awake but Haruka's presence kept her alert. Haruka walked inside the room and leaned over the wall next to the door. He crossed his hands over his chest and looked at Juri with cold eyes. It is quite clear to him that Juri is a foolish girl and that she has to be obliged to accept blood but the problem is that he cannot lose her. If she senses something she might leave, even in her condition and that will put her in danger. He wants her safe and he wants her as close as possible to him. After all, Juri is his beloved family. But there is another problem: he is extremely thirsty. He cannot bite her and he cannot bite anyone else because, well, Juri will not like it. Or at least, this is what he wants to believe.

"Don't just stand there," she said bothered by his cold attitude. Haruka kept quiet and simply stared at her. Juri got angry and jumped on her rear as if she suddenly got her powers back. This surprised Haruka enough to make him gap at her. "I know, ok? I am a stupid girl who thinks she makes a difference. So what? I lived all my life like this! I do not know another way to live my life!" Juri shouted with the voice of a healthy young woman. "Do you guys really expect me to suddenly start drinking blood as if it is normal?!" she started panting. How can they believe that she will suddenly get the will to have blood when she refused it her entire life? So she is dumb. So what? She is certainly not the first stupid woman and most likely not the last one.

Haruka simply stared at her. He understands her point but he also want her to understand that he cannot lose her. "If you cannot live for your sake at least live for my sake," he said desperately trying to convince her. Still, his voice remained calm and quiet. He cannot lose his temper and anger her any more than he already did. She will eventually turn away from him.

Juri exhaled tired from all the crap everyone is throwing at her. "So I cannot live my life the way I want it. I have one life and it has to be to your liking," she concluded and rested her head over the pillow.

"Juri…" Haruka slowly walked to her. His hands fell around his tights the moments he started walking. "You are selfish, but that is nothing new. It runs in your family. Like mother…" Haruka sat on the edge of the bed and rested his hands at each side of her head, slowly leaning over her. "…like daughter." He stared into her eyes. The idea that Juri takes so much after her mother is bothering him a lot. Juri was surprised to hear him talking about her mother, a woman he should not know very well. "You can live the way you want it as long as you do not bother other people." His fangs grew in annoyance and his eyes became murderously red. His patience is slowly running out. "And you are bothering me a lot!" He pronounced those words with extreme clarity. His voice was low as if he was restraining himself from hurting her. "I am running out of patience," he threatened getting his head closer to her, their noses almost touching.

"You…you are not scaring me…" she muttered completely scared. "You knew my ideas…this is what I am…"

Haruka got up, his eyes becoming garnet again and his fangs hiding. "We'll see." That was all he said before walking to the door.

"W-what is that supposed to mean?" Haruka did not answer her. He quietly left the room without even looking her way. Juri remained quiet and for a long period of time she stared at that door, wishing she could get up and run to him and ask him what he wants to do with her. But she cannot run and she does not dare to continue the conversation with Haruka. She cannot argue with him, not since the skin between her breasts cracked. That came as a shock for both of them. She never thought that her skin will crack open before she would die. And when Haruka dared to argue with her and oblige her to have his blood, her anger opened another wound on her belly. The wounds are not painful but she can feel her skin pulsing. She is scared but she cannot drink blood. She can't…


	14. Chapter 14

Juri rested her palm over the frozen wood. She was forced by circumstances to go outside and face a few men send by her father. Haruka left yesterday and has not returned since and now she has the duty to take care of the mansion. Of course, Haruka did not leave her in charge. She is a dying woman who should not step outside her bed but Juri wanted to make sure that nobody will fight and nobody will die while she can still move. She asked a maid to help her walk to the front door and bare foot she stepped outside. The wind was strong and the snow was heavy but she decided to stop acting weak and do what she thinks is worth dying for. Juri walked to the nearest wooden pole to the front door. She stepped over the freezing snow and ice making her skin shiver. The is making her feel alive again. Juri exhaled at the pleasure brought by her surroundings.

"Juri-sama," the four men put their right hands over their hearts and bowed in respect. "We are happy to see you are fine," the man said.

Juri was not impressed but she admitted she was happy to see that her family did not forget her. She looked around and noticed that Haruka's men were ready to attack if the men were to get any closer to the porch. "Tell father not to worry," she asked on a weak voice.

The man bowed his head. "Of course we will. But I believe we should bring you home as proof that you are doing well."

Juri snorted amused by his words. Doing well? She is one foot in grave and quite soon the other one will follow. She is not doing great at all. She felt human, weak and fragile. She is freezing and her nostrils are almost glued together. Normally she should not be bothered by this weather. "Go home," she tried to order but her voice was too weak to even be heard.

"Your family is really worried about…" Before the man could finish his sentence he was changed to dust. The other vampires also disappeared before her eyes. Their dust was blown away by the wind. Juri was surprised by the sudden event. She slowly looked around until she found the man responsible for those men's deaths. She felt angry. She went all the way to speak with them and now this man is killing them.

"What are you doing?" she asked. She intended to sound angry but she was suddenly left with not powers.

"I am sure Haruka told you not to bother with people sent by your father. You know they are not here to talk," Rido said amused as he approached her. He walked with his hands inside his pockets. "How about I take you back to your room?" Rido travelled his hand over her back and rested it on her middle. Juri felt a shiver going down her spide as the man was touching her. They turned to the door and slowly walked inside the house.

Juri felt annoyed by the man. She could never truly stand him and although he was aware that she did not like him he kept on appearing. He seems to be with her more often than Haruka and even though she often gives the impression that she does not want his company he keeps on coming back. Even Haruka's presence is annoying her and she feels thankful for not having him around too often.. She fears he might do something uncalled for and force her to have his blood. Her feelings have never changed but Haruka told her that he will not have her blood no matter what. She feels hurt but it does not matter because she cannot change now.

* * *

Haruka closed his file and expired exhausted. He sure had a rough week and things are not getting any better. His Juri is falling apart and he still has no idea of how to save her. Haruka expired again and leaned over his back in his chair. His father always told him that he is too soft and that he should take the matter in his hands and save the poor girl. The problem is that he is always gone, speaking with people and making agreements, leaving her all alone. He wants to be there, next to her, and change her mind but he does not have time to do that. Often, he feels like he has to punish her for constalty disobeying him and he always ends up telling her hursh words. Of course he does not want to hurt her but she is not listening and he has no idea how much time she has left. In a way, he always knew that he will have to force Juri to take his blood and live but he hopes she would change. But Juri is not the type of girl to change so easily. Exactly when he thought that he brought her feelings to surface she changed back to what she used to be. Juri resembles her mother a lot and although she might not want to admit it she is exactly like her.

Haruka has knows her mother all of his life and she was always cold and distant. He could never form a bond with her and it was clear she had no intentions in being friends with him or his family. Haruka constaly wondered what is keeping that woman away from showing some feelings but he never found out. Juri is just like her mother, if not worse as her father is not exatly that nice either. Haruka knows that her mother was not there for her and that her father was strict and that he used her for many purposes, although Juri might not be aware of it. He doubts that man loves Juri but he knows that he at least gave her the freedom to study where she wants. _Would a father really hate his daughter that much?_ he wondered bothered by the way Juri was treated. He constaly feared she would bring shame on him so he ordered her to be quiet and obey him like a doll.

Haruka sighed again, feeling tired by everything. Today, he was supposed to have a meeting with the head of the vampire hunter association but he did not show and now Haruka has no business at all. They decided to meet in a restaurant, only the two of them, and come with a deal. But something had happened and he sent someone to inform Haruka that he will not show up. Haruka was mad but he has to admit that he did not think that it would be easy. He hoped he could make a deal and somehow lead all the vampires from shadow. Everyone will end up following him and listening to him rather than those from the Senate. After all, the Kurans have always been considered the true leaders.

"…ruka…" Haruka blinked. He had the impression that someone was calling him. He looked around. The restaurant was almost empty since it was nearly 9 o'clock and nobody present there knew him. He felt a chill going down his spine, as a sign of bad feeling. "…Haruka…" This time he was capable of hearing is name clearly and he could tell right away whose voice that was. He could hear Juri's trembling voice calling for him, begging him to come and save her. Haruka wasted no time a left the restaurant, leaving some money on the table.

* * *

"..stop…" Juri begged with her eyes full of tears. She trusted this man would not do anything to her but here they are, lying on her bed, his body over her body, touching her breasts and tights like she belongs to him and sucking her blood and life out of her. "Haruka…" She whispered his name over and over again but he did not come for her. Juri hit his back with her fists, as of that could stop him. Rido grabbed one of her nipples between her fingers and started playing with it but Juri could not care less. She feel her body slowly giving in to the lack of blood. "Bastard…"

Rido released her neck and chuckled amused by her words. She is a weak girl who has no idea how to survive in their world but her presence makes him go crazy. She is so tasty, so beautiful. He ripped open her blouse and stared at her small breasts. He liked his lips, lusting to get one of her nipples inside his mouth. He would've liked someone with bigger breasts but she will have to do for tonight. Rido also noticed the cracks from her body, pulsing and growing bigger and bigger with each passing minute. The crack from between her breasts extended over her neck and to her cheek. He trailed over it with his finger. "As I expected your blood is the best. Ah! Only you can stop my thirst," Rido licked his bloody lips. "The best part was hearing you whisper Haruka's name." He laughed seeing the young woman growing angry. Rido got on his kneed between her legs and travelled his index, dirty with her blood, over her body. He reached the other crack, spreading all over her belly and to her back. "Since you are dying, I think I will have all that delicious blood of yours," he informed her after a fast decision. It would be a pity to let her die and waste some of the best blood he ever had. His hand slid inside her panties, making Juri gap in shock. She was already too weak to even moan. Her view was blurry and she is losing blood as her wounds do not heal. She cannot feel much but she knows that he is humiliating her, dirtying her and doing whatever he pleases with her. She did not want to die like that. She wanted her death to be peaceful and next to a man she liked and trusted.

Rido smirked watching her reaction. If she is dying, he can at least give her an orgasm since his brother was incapable of properly taking care of her. He slowly started massaging her clitoris with his index. She tried to close her tights but he kept them open with one hand. Before Juri could pass out from the loss of blood she felt Rido sliding two fingers inside her and brutally moving them in and out. ' _I hate this life',_ she thought before passing out.

Rido got bored when he saw her passing out. Here he was trying to please her and she leaves him alone. Rido took out his hand from her panties and was getting ready to get the last drops of blood when the door broke open and Haruka busted inside. His forehead was sweaty from all the running. He could not feel Juri at all inside the house and that nearly stopped his heart. Haruka glared at his older brother . He was over his precious girl, touching her naked body and trying to kill her. "Please step aside, brother," Haruka said, fangs growing out of his mouth.

"This woman is nearly dead, give up on her," he said shaking his head at the sides. "But if you want, you can have her blood."

Haruka grew angrier. He grabbed his brother by the collar and threw him over his back, to the door. "Get out!" he ordered. Haruka slowly touched Juri's pale face. He felt his heart breaking apart in pain and despair. "Juri…" he whispered getting his face closer to her. Although she lost too much blood she is still breathing.. Haruka wasted no time and cut his wrist to give Juri blood. His blood fell between her parted lips and down her tongue. Rido snorted before leaving the room. His little brother is foolish enough to believe that Juri will change her mind about what she wants. Haruka hopped Juri will be driven mad and she will properly feed with his blood but it did not happen. He had to cut himself a couple of times to keep the wound open. Juri had no reaction at all. He is aware that she is not getting enough blood but there is nothing he can do about her.

* * *

Juri caughed before opening her redish eyes. Her body is sweaty and her mind is a complete desaster. Images of people she doesn't know and of situations she has never lived are surfacing. Juri partially closed her eyes as the image of Shizuka appeared in her mind. Although Juri passed out before Haruka gave her his blood she knows that the body hugged by that woman belongs to Haruka. She knows because she can see his reflection in her eyes. In the end, Haruka did something uncalled for. Juri gritted her teeth annoyed. She can remember everything Rido did to her last night. A tear fell on the pillow as Juri slowly got on her rear, with her feet on the floor. She looked at her feet as another image appeared in her mind. Juri had a small smile on her face seeing that this time it was a memory of her on the beach. At least Haruka never forget about their moments together. Juri licked her lower lip tasting Haruka's blood. "Tasty…" she whispered as she got up and slowly walked to the door. She is quite sensitive to the smell of blood now that she cannot control her hunger anymore.

Juri opened the door and stepped on the dull corridor. She looked up and down the corridor, unsure the direction she should pick. Her nose caught a sweet scent of blood so Juri went straight, in the direction of the smell.

Juri stopped at the entrance of a room and her eyes caught a maid slowly folding some clothes in front of a closet. Juri looked at her for a while, thinking if she should restrain herself or go for the woman. Her nails dug in the wood as she tried to restrain her instincts. Juri looked over her shoulder then decided that there was no reason for her to refuse blood at that point. Bare foot, she walked soundless to the woman who felt no danger. Juri reached her from behind and pulled the woman in her grip. The maid had no time to scream as Juri pulled her down, on her lap, and bit her neck from behind. The maid looked at Juri from the corner of her eyes. Her frightened eyes met Juri's reddish ones. She was so frightened that she could not even struggle to break free. The woman can feel blood slipping down her should and chest. Juri feels no pity for the woman she is slowly killing her. _Why should I care?_ She asked herself. _They have humiliated me. They have raped me._ The maid rolled her eyes back before limping in Juri's grip. Juri kept on sucking the maid's blood until her body turned into ashes.

The girl threw the clothes aside and turned to walk outside the room when her eyes spotted another maid, trembling at the entrance of the room. Juri smiled, feeling lucky for finding another meal so fast. She reached out her hand and motioned the maid, with her index, to approach her. The woman wanted to run away but she could not defy the silent command. Juri's red eyes are commanding her to come closer and give herself away. The woman dragged her feet in Juri's direction, crying and begging Juri to spare her. Juri pointed to the ground and the woman fell on her knees. "Please…" the woman begged when Juri broke her collar. With a smiling face, Juri bent double and pierced the woman's skin with her fangs. Juri covered the woman's mouth to keep her quiet so she can enjoy her meal. _She never thought blood is this good. She never though killing someone would make her feel nothing._ But Juri guessed there were signs since a long time ago. She saw herself as an innocent woman when she was killing level E for a "noble" reason. Juri lived most of her life blaming Shizuka for things she never did. _I was the evil one but no one told me._ Her mother was too busy to live her life while her father saw her as a normal vampire. God knows, maybe from a vampire's point of view Juri is normal but Haruka… He saw her evilness from the very beginning. Maybe he felt pity for her so he tried to show her the right path. Or maybe he was mesmerized by her foolishness. Or maybe, just maybe, Haruka had no idea how sick she really is.

Juri left behind another pile of dust before leaving the room. She had so much blood and yet she wants much more and she does not mind killing anyone for it. How could she live so long with no blood at all? She feels cursed. She cannot die and she has to live everyday from now on with the humiliation Rido made her feel. Juri chucked to herself when seeing one of Haruka's guards, who was about to climb down the stairs. These people spied on her and treated her like a threat but now, now she really is a threat. Juri grabbed the man's shoulders and forced him to sit on the staircases. The man looked over his shoulder. "Juri….sama," he whispered. _At some point, this man thought he was better than me, stronger than me._ Juri dug her nails inside his flesh and gritted her teeth. How can a man like him think he is better than her?

"There is a saying: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Juri looked at the silent man. "I did not die so…I will get stronger from now," she said before having his blood and killing him in the process. There are few things which matter for Juri now. Since she did not die she will have to be stronger than anyone and get her revenge. Because in the end, Juri will always have to stand on her own. Everyone will try to destroy what she holds dear. Haruka changed her and because she allowed that to happen she was fooled.

The man's clothes fell down the stairs. Juri got up and turned to face Haruka. He was alerted by the smell of blood and he was just leaving his office. They stared at each other for a while. Haruka thought Juri will go mad after blood but he believed she will fight that urge and find him. He did not want to believe that Juri will let the urge lead her to killing people. He saw Juri drinking that guard's blood but he expected her to stop on time. Haruka hoped he will never see Juri kill another living being. He knows Juri feels no remorse when killing someone and he knows she might be a psychopath given her difficult life but he saw her becoming cheerful. He wanted Juri to forever be like a child and never have to worry about anything.

"How do you feel?" he asked her.

Juri licked her bloody lips and walked toward Haruka. "Let me guess…you allowed Rido to walk away," she snorted aware he did not hurt his brother. "You never protect me Haruka." Those words hurt him but he took everything because she was right. He did not have the guts to fight his brother although he hurt Juri. "You told me that I will never have to worry, that you will take care of me, but you…" Juri swallowed harshly as she folded her hands around his shoulders and got on her tiptoes. "You see, I know you are too kind for the strength you have." Juri gently kissed Haruka's parted lips. He remained motionless, speechless, as Juri kissed him. "You know, the image of you and Shizuka is quite fresh in my hand." Juri remained with her face close to him. "Just the way you saw the image between me and sensei…" She gently kissed him again. "Can you hear me?" she asked and he slowly nodded. "Good. Haruka I…I might… like you." Haruka blinked but he kept silent. She ignored the feeling for quite some time and she refused to admit it because she knows Haruka is hiding something from her. She wants to remain in his mind as a friend and not as a lover. "I am so sorry," she whispered before biting him.

Juri started liking Haruka shortly after he had her blood at Himika's wedding. Haruka was so kind and loving and his punishments were light. He never wanted her to remain with her family, she was aware that he needed her. Yes, she knows Haruka is hiding something from her but she suspected that since the beginning. He can be kind but even Haruka would not allow a child to make a fool out of him. She could read he was annoyed by her attitude but she could also tell that he wanted to accept her the way she was. Haruka told her that he wanted a friend but did he really needed one? She always thought that someone like him could find an honest friend but she was curious: why did he want her? She got carried away and changed to a foolish girl, someone her father despised. If Haruka hadn't changed her she would have never fought her father. But she did and she must praise him for that. But it is fine because he gave her the strength she was always missing.

"Juri," he begged, touching her shoulder. He feels his powers leaving him. Juri is drinking too much if his blood. His eyelids feel heavy.

He will make it, she thought as she kept on drinking his blood. He always does. "Juri…" he barely managed to whisper again. Juri drunk his blood until he fainted. His body fell heavily to the ground, pulling Juri after him. Juri got on her knees and wiped the blood away from her chin. "You are nice Haruka… I could drink all your blood like this…" Juri wiped his bangs away from his face. His face is so peaceful, she thought. Juri traveled her finger over his cheek and chin. "I would like to stay with you but I am still hungry," she told him before dearly kissing him. Juri bit his lower lip before getting up.

Juri walked outside the house, in the freezing weather. This time it felt different, this time she was not bothered by the low temperatures or by the wind. The snow is melting underneath her feet as she walks away. Haruka's guards did not dare to approach her as she walked away from the house. They remained motionless as the young princess disappeared in the snow. Later that night, they heard a nearby village nearly burned down completely and they knew the princess was there.

When the morning came, Juri was sitting in the middle of the fire with a dead woman's body on her lap. She was looking at the sky, eyes wet, and wondering how she ended up like that. She was cold but peaceful. She never tried to kill a human before. What would her sensei say about her? "Why am I even crying?" Indeed, is there a point in crying when she decided herself that she will have some human blood? What would Haruka say? He is fighting to create a peaceful world for humans and vampires and she just destroyed everything. "I would've given anything…" A drop of blood fell from her cheek and mixing with her tears, "….for a peaceful world…"


	15. Chapter 15

Haruka opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times. His view is blurry and his head hurts like someone tried to cut it open. Haruka looked to the window but the strong light made his view blurry. He closed his eyes immediately, blinded by the bright light, and covered his eyes with his arm. "Damn," he murmured not feeling Juri's presence inside the house. He has no idea for how long he was out but one thing is certain: Juri is gone and it is still day light. Haruka threw aside the blanket and stepped on the cold floor with the intention to walk to the window. He covered his eyes with his palm as he walked to the curtain and covered the window. Haruka leaned over the wall and slipped to the ground. He propped his elbow on his right knee, resting his head over the wall and looking in the direction of the door. Haruka has never felt the need to punish Juri for being unreasonable but waking up in the middle of the day and nearly blinded by the sun was efficient in annoying him. He can accept her throwing something at him, yelling at him or ignoring him but he cannot accept her disobeying him. He knows Juri often gave him the feeling that he is in control but there are things which he expects her to respect if she does not want him to get angry. Right now Haruka is so angry that he could give her a painful lesson which she would never forget only to feel satisfaction.

"Tsk!" Haruka gritted his teeth in annoyance. He knew Juri will lose control but he left her alone and expected her to remain inside the house no matter what. For Haruka, Juri is the sun which he can directly look at without burning his eyes. She should not be capable of killing anyone but he remembers the times when she was cold like ice and he could not gain her trust. When he met her for the first time she was still capable of showing feelings but the second time he met her she was far from the girl he met for the first time. She could kill a level E without flinching and she no longer cared if it were children or adults. That man, her so called father, sealed her feelings away for his own benefit. Now that she is hungry and she no longer gives a damn about where she takes blood, she is a real threat to humans. "All that work…." And all of it was for nothing.

"When I put my hands on her…" …he will make sure she does never touch another human for as long as she lives.

Haruka closed his eyes and fell asleep until the sun was down. He did not exactly rest as the position was not comfortable and the floor was cold but he slept there as he was too lazy to move back to the bed. He never before felt lazy to do something but he has no energy to move around and he cannot get blood for now. Haruka woke up when he felt a stranger walking inside his house. He felt alerted but after realizing who the person walking down his hall to the living room really is, he relaxed and rested his eyes for a few more minutes. Haruka got up and dragged his feet to the closet, mind blank and no mood to meet anyone. He changed into something presentable and went to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. He used to be so organized and so neat but now his clothes are all over the floor, he is too lazy to shave his short beard or to arrange his collar. Haruka traveled a hand through his hair and looked in the mirror one more time before going to meet his uninvited guest.

On his way to the living room Haruka saw a maid who was cleaning the windows. "For how long was I sleeping?" he asked her.

The woman flinched and bowed her head embarrassed she did not sense her master approaching her. "For almost two weeks," she told him.

Haruka nodded and climbed down the stairs. Juri must have drunk his blood even after he passed out. He felt angry again but decided to look peaceful for the sake of his guest. "Bring in my breakfast," he told another maid before walking inside the living room and closing the door behind him. Isaya Shoto was sitting in the armchair facing the sofa. He was holding a cup of tea on a small plate, legs crossed and back rested in the armchair. He glanced at Haruka right after the man sat on the sofa across from him. Haruka also rested his back and crossed his legs, relaxing in front of his guest. "I hope my tea is to your liking," he said smiling to his guest. Haruka crossed his fingers over his knee. He did not invite Isaya and he does not like having people inside his house without his consent but Isaya is not the type to pay visits without a reason.

"I like the welcoming feeling I got when I stepped inside," Isaya chuckled. He put the plate with the cup on the table and made himself comfortable.

"I did not think people will come looking for me here," he admitted.

"Well, I thought the two of us should talk a little." Isaya got serious out of the sudden.

The maid came in and brought a plate with sandwiches for the two men. Haruka is quite hungry but the sudden mood change is putting a pressure on him. Isaya is the man who often sleeps and hardly ever leaves his home as he is not interested in politics or socialization. After his wife died he was no longer interested in having anything to with anyone, not even friends. Haruka was a child when he met the man for the first time and he liked the peaceful feeling he had around him but he always felt tense as he could not read the man. "What exactly should we talk about?"

"Juri," he said and he had Haruka's full attention in a second. Isaya chuckled amused at the young man for getting so serious all of a sudden. "She is in my house now."

Haruka frowned for a second but relaxed his facial muscles to pretend nothing is wrong. He leaned to take a sandwich trying to prove Isaya that Juri being away is not a problem. He feels relieved that she is safe and that she is not hurting anyone but he also feels worried because she is in the hands of a stranger. "Is she fine?"

"She is doing great. She likes taking long walks in the garden and she enjoys watching movies at the cinema."

"I see you are taking really good care of her," Haruka said jealous that Juri is enjoying the company of another man.

"I found her in the middle of a fire. She was sitting there, looking at the sky with tears in her eyes. She was covered in blood…human blood," Isaya noticed the change in Haruka. The room suddenly got cold and Isaya could tell that Haruka is a little hurt and angry. _That little girl managed to upset the calmest person he knows_ , Isaya thought. "I took her out of there and to my castle."

"Has she been good since then?"

"She is a very interesting character," Isaya said mesmerized by the young lady. "I've never met someone so radiant in my life." Isaya is trying to annoy Haruka and he does a pretty good job. He knows that the man, or boy as he sees him, is strongly attached to Juri. She told him that Haruka will be angry if she does not go home as he dislikes having her away from him but he insisted she should remain there. "She regrets what she did."

After finishing his sandwich, Haruka got up and took a step towards the door. "Well then Isaya-san, should we go to your home? I am sure Juri wants to come back home."

Isaya motioned Haruka to sit. "I still have things I want to tell you," Isaya said. Haruka looked at the sofa then back at his guest. He does not want to wait another second before going for Juri. He also feels bothered by Isaya's tone and way of telling him to be obedient and listen. Haruka decided to stand up and wait for the man to tell him everything he wants to tell him. "Sit," Isaya said on an imperious voice. Haruka sulked and sat, legs open and elbows resting over his knees. Haruka looked away, embarrassed for not being able to ignore Isaya's commands. "I know what you are doing and I do not like it." Haruka remained with a poker face and waited to see what the man has to say next. "Juri is nobody's property. You and your father have no right to constrain her."

Haruka smiled and relaxed on the sofa. He rested his arm over the back of the sofa and rested one foot over the tight of the other, so that he was partially turned away from Isaya. "I am sure that this is not your business but if you must know: Juri came here because she wanted to."

"Juri came here because she was naïve and had no idea what she was getting into. What did you tell her?" Isaya grabbed his cup of tea and stared at his reflection inside the cup. "Did you tell her you love her? Or did you tell her that you cannot live without her?" Isaya drunk the whole cup of cold tea and looked at Haruka. "My guess is that you made her believe that she is free to choose, am I right?"

Haruka chuckled amused. "There is no need to think that much. Juri came because she saw me as her friend."

"And are you" he made a pause, "her friend?"

"You do not know her. She might look innocent to you but she Juri is not someone I can control."

Isaya nodded understanding Haruka very well. Juri is at his place right now but the only reason she does not go home is because she found a freedom she lost some time ago. She told him that she nearly died because she refused blood all her life and that her body started breaking apart after she left home but she also told him that Haruka was constantly watching her. She told him that she forgot people can be free. "If Juri wants to come home with you then it is fine but if she doesn't, I will not allow you to take her by force. She is special," he told Haruka giving him a cold look.

"Isaya," Haruka started, fangs growing out of his mouth as he felt threatened by the older vampire, "Juri is mine. Touch her and I…"

Isaya raised a hand to stop Haruka from speaking. "Here is the problem. Juri does not belong to anyone. As I told you, she will make the decision and if she wants to leave I cannot stop her."

Haruka got up, fists clenched and eyes red. "If you touch her I will kill you."

"How violent of you," Isaya chuckled and also got up. "I will not do that."

* * *

Juri closed the book she has been reading in the last week and exhaled. She hasn't read in a very long time and although she had a lot of free time she never felt relaxed enough to read. Juri put the book on the low coffee table and relaxed over the mountain of pillows put together in form of a couch. She feels so good in Isaya's house. Nobody is watching her and Isaya gave her the freedom to go wherever she wants and when she wants. After killing those people she thought that someone will haunt her, catch her and lock her inside an isolated room. Isaya took her in, gave her clean clothes and listened to her story after which he told her not to worry about anything. _"We are not that different from humans,"_ he told her, " _and it is normal to make mistakes. Your actions might have caught the hunters' attention but if you never hurt anyone again you will be fine."_ Juri smiled remembering the morning Isaya took her in. Juri traveled a hand over her stomach and stopped above her heart. She is worried about Haruka since she left him nearly dead two weeks ago. Since he did not find her yet it means that he is still sleeping or he is too weak to move but her only hope is that he is still alive.

"I have changed again…" Juri wants to be with Haruka but she fears that he does not respect her desires. He is the man who always wants to be in control so she gave him the impression that she was listening to him but in reality she did not care. She wanted to live a peaceful life eve if that meant having Haruka control some things.

Juri stretched her hands in the air, pleased with the life she managed to get. She will never live this kind of alive again so she has to profit as much as she can. There is no time to think about Haruka because soon he will come for her. She certainly does not want to leave because only Isaya seems to really care about what she has to say but she promised Haruka she will be with him. Isaya understood her and he thought it was beautiful that she refused blood because she wanted to make a difference and that should be enough for her.

At the sound of the front door opening, Juri jumped on her feet and made sure her dress is neat. She arranged her bangs and walked to the door excited to meet Isaya and have their breakfast. There are many things she does not accept about what she did but if she did not die then when she was weak, she will not die any time soon so she has to enjoy her life. She is what she was born to be and she has to accept it. Her hand froze on the door knob. Her pupils dilated and her mouth slightly parted as she sensed Haruka's presence inside the castle. Juri swallowed harshly and took some steps back from the door not believing that Isaya went to bring Haruka to her. Juri walked backwards all the way to the window and sat on the frame to regain her strengths. She was aware that Haruka would come to take her back home but she hoped it will be later on.

The door opened and Haruka took a step inside. He walked inside peacefully as Isaya told him that he will be watching the young vampire's actions. He looked around the room, noticing the fire and the pillows in front of it, until his eyes fell upon Juri's feet. Haruka looked at Juri from toe to head: he noticed her shiny black shoes, skin-toned stockings, he liked the way the black skirt fell around her knees like an open flower with the dark blue sleeveless shirt inside, the shinning necklace around her bare neck, her bright red lips, her big bright eyes and her hair caught in a neat ponytail. He has never seen Juri so healthy and so beautiful as she is tonight. She confessed to him but he never saw her love for him in her eyes as he can only read disappointment that he is there. Haruka closed the door behind him and took off his coat. He looked around for a place to put it but the couch was too far so he just threw it over the pillows. Juri remained still, watching his movements in silence. Haruka walked towards Juri, stretching his right arm to reach her. Before Haruka could grab her elbow she got up and looked into his eyes. It was not supposed to be like this but she made some mistakes and she cannot change anything. Haruka stopped right in front of her, hand keeping Juri still and eyes coldly staring into hers.

Without any word Haruka threw Juri over the pillows, making her lose one of her shoes before falling over them. Haruka walked towards Juri, opening the first two buttons from his shirt before getting on his knees, with her legs between his. Juri remained silent, petrified by his sudden violent attitude. He brushed aside the hair which messily fell over her small face and which was hiding her eyes. Juri witnessed his eyes changing colors and his fangs dangerously growing out of his mouth. "Haruka, I…" Juri had no time to justify her actions as he tilted his head aside and bit her neck in only one second. Juri hissed in pain and tried to push him away from her but he grabbed her hands and kept them down. The so desired blood is rushing into his mouth. "Don't…" she started and he retreated from her neck only to give her a threatening look. Juri bit her tongue. Haruka swallowed her blood and bent down to bit her again. Juri relaxed in his grip and kept quiet until Haruka released her neck. Juri wants to tell him that she regrets everything and that she never wanted to hurt him but after shocking her like that she knows that he will not forgive her no matter what she says.

Haruka wiped the blood from his chin with his thumb after which he licked it. Juri remained on her back over the pillows, staring at the ceiling and hoping he will just leave her there and disappear. Haruka got on his rear with his back at her. "It was my miscalculation," he told her. "I thought the thirst will not change you but I was wrong." He knows that she went mad because he forced blood down her throat after she passed out. "I will not make such a mistake again." Haruka slipped his fingers through his hair. "But leaving our home and sleeping over at another man's house is unforgivable."

"He nearly killed me," she tried to defend herself.

"I know." He did not want to look at her as he knows that she did nothing wrong yet she was treated so poorly by his brother. He used her.

"He raped me!" she shouted desperate to make her point.

"I know." Rido saw her as nothing but a meal which he should serve without remorse. Haruka knows his brother and he knows that to him, Juri is not important, only her blood really matters.

"You did not protect me although you promised me you will." It was not her intention but Juri started crying, desperate to prove her friend that she was the victim and that he has no rights to punish her.

"Juri," he started getting annoyed for being reminded that he did a poor job in protecting the woman he loves, "I know all of these but is it really relevant?" He looked over his shoulder at ther, trying to find the strength in himself to not give in. He is always too kind to her and this is why everything had happened. Juri looked surprised at him, eyes big and mouth partially open, not believing her ears. She did nothing wrong but yet, she is the guilty one. "The people you have killed did nothing wrong."

Juri clenched her fists and looked at the ground. She is angry and devastated at the same time but everything is irrelevant for Haruka. He never really cared if she was bothered by things he did or said or if she wanted to do something else. Haruka always made sure things go his way and he never even asked her if she agrees or not. "You are no better than me," she said catching his attention. Haruka raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. "You have been tormenting me as well!" Juri glared at him with the intention of hitting him. "You are lying to me!"

Haruka nodded understanding her very well. He did lie to her ever since the first day he met her. He knew who she was back then but pretended he didn't, he lied to himself trying to erase the truth. Haruka got up and turned to face her. "I am sorry, forgive me but…" Haruka reached her with his hand but Juri refused to take it. "Only a little longer…" he begged and got on his knees in front of her. Haruka cupped her cheeks with his hands and stared into her brown eyes, begging her to listen to him. "Let me lie to you a little bit longer…" Juri closed her eyes and exhaled, giving in to his selfish request and nodding. "Thank you…"

This is why she is in this kind of a situation. Haruka knows how to control her without violence but she knows that if she were to say no, he would have inflicted some pain. Why is this man like this? She always knew Haruka is not pure kindness and she always knew he was lying to her but she still chose to be with him. Back then, being with Haruka was more important than being with her family.

"Juri…do you really love me?" he asked hoping she will confess once again.

Juri bit her lips and swallowed harshly. "No…"

"Please tell me the truth."

"I hate you for everything you and your family did to me. I despise you!"

Haruka felt deeply hurt by her words. He hoped Juri will give in and finally make her his. "I love you." Juri pushed him away from her, forcing Haruka to get up. If she is going to be like this then he will have to do as he promised himself he will. "Juri, never touch another human being again. I will break your fangs if you do." His harsh words were not because he wanted to punish Juri for what she did but rather for hurting his feelings once again. Why does this girl have to be so stubborn?

"Haruka, I will not go home with you."

"Of course you will and you will tell Isaya that you want to come with me."

Juri got up and arranged her skirt. "Lately you speak a lot," she stated and walked to the door. "Tell me the truth, and I will come home. Lie to me and I will ask Isaya for help." Juri knows Isaya can protect her from Haruka. Isaya is older than him and he possesses more experience than him.

Haruka nodded annoyed by the young girl who can do whatever she wants without fearing him.


	16. Chapter 16

Some would say Juri is a child and she should grow up but in reality Juri grew up without knowing what childhood really was about. She proved Haruka that she was now a grown up woman who will not depend on him by refusing to leave Isaya's house but accepting to meet Haruka when he is ready to tell her the truth. The annoyed Haruka a lot but she told him that she prefers the calmer Haruka and she does not want to change her opinion about him now. Haruka accepted that although, telling the truth, he wanted to throw Juri over his shoulder and carry her back to him home. He told Isaya to take her for a while but to keep his hands away from her as she belong to him no matter what the older vampire might believe.

Today Haruka sent a message to inform Juri that he will come and pick her up. Although he did not mention for what purpose or where exactly he planned on taking her she prepared to meet Haruka. He was capable of staying away from her for only three nights, time in which Juri constantly waited for him to call or come and visit. She hoped Haruka will just tell her the truth so she could just forgive him and stay close to him again. Juri can forgive pretty much everything Haruka does but she must know that his intention is not to purposely hurt her. Juri dressed with a white, wool dress, which resembles a long sweater with a pair of black boots. When Haruka stopped the car in front of house, Juri put on her coat and told Isaya she will be out and if she does not return then her and Haruka made up.

"Juri," Isaya caught her arms with his palms, "are you sure you want to go?" he asked, eyes pleading for her to change her mind.

Juri smiled and looked down to her feet. She knows Haruka is a controlling man and she knows he might try to influence her decisions but this time she will not allow it. "Haruka cannot make use of my weaknesses." Isaya wanted to tell her that Haruka is very smart and he can influence her if he truly wants to but Juri spoke again. "I have no more weaknesses."

"I want you safe. That is all," he pulled Juri to his chest and dearly hugged her.

Haruka was staring at the falling snow, waiting for Juri to come out. Actually, he was hoping Juri will come and meet him since he got no reply from the young lady. In the past three nights he calmed down, relaxed a lot and did nothing related to work. He listened to some music and read the book he saw Juri was reading when he visited her. Haruka needed something to keep him close to her so that he would not feel abandoned by Juri. That morning, before going to bed, he informed his father that he had a fight with Juri and that he needs help to solve the problem. Haruka never really had a girlfriend but he could imagine that keeping her happy and safe are the most important feelings he has to give her and since he failed to protect her he could at least make her happy. When Haruka saw Juri stepping outside the house he expired relieved that she is willing to give him a second chance.

Juri walked around his car but stopped in front of the door and stared at him through the tinted glass. Haruka looked at her from the corner of his eye, hopping she did not just show up only to tell him to leave. Juri opened the door and stepped inside without saying a word. For a while they remained in silence, Haruka glancing at her from time to time while she pretending to ignore him but in reality hopping he would say something. But Haruka did not say a word and started the car to drive away. "Where are we going?" she asked him.

"Back to your home city," he told her.

Juri felt relieved Haruka relaxed and returned to his silent and collected state. She knows what he is thinking about and she knows that he was thinking about the same thing when he left her three nights ago. "I made a promise to always be with you and I will keep my word Haruka…" She will keep it but she needs to see he is worth fighting for. Haruka did not reply but he felt relieved to know Juri did not forget her promise. "Was our first meeting an accident?" she started trying to see if he will tell her the truth.

"Yes."

"Did you know who I was?"

"Not that night."

"When then?"

He knows it is essential to answer her questions but he fears that after she knows the truth she will never return. Haruka stopped the car in the middle of the road and turned to face her. They are in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by trees and in complete darkness. The snow is heavy and the temperature is quite low. "I realized when I touched you on our first meeting," he admitted. He really wanted to lie a little but Juri will still find out the truth and she will get angry again.

"What did you find out?" Haruka looked to the wheel with no intention of telling her that. He does not have the strength to open his mouth. Juri nodded knowing that it was not going to be easy. "Was your intention to hurt my father?" Haruka shook his head once and Juri believed him. "Do you hate him?"

"I do…'

"Why?"

"He destroyed my family…"

Juri's eyes got big but she decided she would not be sentimental. The story is not about Haruka's family and definitely not about what her father did. But if that is relevant she will ask without feeling bad for him. "How?"

"Juri…I will tell you only what is related to you…"

"How is my father not related to me? Haruka, you took me to the beach because you hoped I will come with you."

"Because I could not live away from you."

Juri nodded and relaxed in the seat. If he does not want to tell her what he found out then there is no point in speaking about anything. Haruka will tell her what she wants to know only if that will not clear everything up. Why must he hide everything away from her? "You can drive," she told him tired from questioning a man who does not fully cope. She knows his feelings and she knows he loves her very much. Since she started loving him she noticed that everything from the past is proof of his feelings for her. "Why are we going home?"

"I want you to know the truth." Juri snorted amused by his words. He wants her to know the truth? He just tried to lie to her and he refused to tell her details so she doubts he will tell her anything. "I did not say I will tell you everything," he said trying to convince her.

"Then who will?"

His eyes fell upon her neck. This might be the last time to see her this close or to have her blood. "Juri…can I have your blood before starting the car again?"

Juri took off her coat and bent to open her boots. She slipped her feet out of her shoes and strategically shifted on Haruka's lap. She made space for her legs, pressing her chest over his face and giving him the opportunity to feel her breasts and breathe her sweet scent, and rested her knees on each of his sides. Juri leaned over the wheel and traveled a finger over his forehead, cheek and over both lips. His lips are smooth she noticed remembering when she kissed him. Before going mad she would have never dared to get so close to him but now some of that madness remained and Juri is shameless enough to get on his lap and even press her chest on his face. Her former self wouldn't have allowed that but she has nothing to hide anymore. Haruka surely saw her breasts went Rido broke her shirt and he touched her a little before that. "Can I?" she asked and he nodded right away. Juri brushed his hair away and leaned closer to tickle his neck with the tip of her nose. Juri bit her lower lip getting thirsty for his blood. "Meanwhile, you can tell me about the women you had in the past," she instructed before licking his neck.

"The first girl…ah…" Juri inserted her fangs inside his neck as he started his story. "…I was 14 maybe…" Juri leaned better over his chest pressing her intimate part over his knee. "I just wanted her blood. Then I met a woman a little bit older than me." Haruka made a pause aware that Juri was occasionally massaging her clitoris with his knee. "We were together for about 20 years but she moved on quite fast…" Juri was left impressed to hear that a woman walked away from him so easily and he had no objection. "Then there were only women I used for blood and sex. Ah, Juri," he closed his eyes when Juri dug her fangs deeper provoking him more pain. "And Shizuka...but you already know about her."

When Juri had enough blood she retreated from his neck and started into his eyes. Haruka reached the corner of her mouth and wiped away the blood. "Do you want me to tell you what your brother did to me?" Haruka shook his head knowing that he did awful things to her. "Yeah, I wouldn't want you to know either. Do you want my blood?" He nodded and Juri pulled the lever to lower the back of his seat. Haruka shifted positions with Juri so that he would be on top of her. He made sure she is not bothered by the position but when she tilted her head he wasted no time and leaned to bit her. "Tonight I must know the truth Haruka. If not…we will not meet again." Juri combed his hair with her fingers. Why must Haruka always be such a mystery? She was by his side almost a year but she could not find out anything about her. For her, Haruka is the core of mystery: he seems open to her but in reality he keeps everything only to himself. After Juri got sick, she noticed how Haruka kept a distance from her and left other people to watch her on his behalf. She assumed he was busy and he wanted to finish his work as soon as possible so he can be with her before she dies but everything was in her head. He grew cold and unreasonable and from time to time she was scared of him. Why did he become so cold? Was it something she did? Was it because she was dying?

"Either way, we will not meet again," he told her.

"How bad can it be?" Haruka did not reply but he left his weight over her and kissed her with his lips covered in her blood. Juri clasped together her hands over his back and pulled him closer to her. Haruka licked her bottom lip to ask for permission which Juri granted him and their tongues started dueling. This is her first real kiss and she has no idea what to do but she follows him and his lead.

* * *

After Haruka parked the car, the two of them walked around an apartment building. It was no longer snowing but it was colder and snow is a little above their ankles. Juri glanced at Haruka but he remained with a stoic face refusing to tell her anything. His hand is on her middle guiding her to the entrance of the building. Juri wanted to ask but she decided to follow his lead as it is more important to have answers about Haruka than the place he is taking her. As soon as they stepped inside Juri knew he is taking her to his father. His presence is powerful, almost threatening. Juri nodded to herself understanding that what Haruka is hiding is probably something his father instructed him to do. "Is it alright to visit your father empty handed?"

"Yes. He knows we are coming," he answered her.

"I did not think that someone like your father, the king, would live in an apartment."

Haruka repeated her words in his head over and over again until the elevator took them to their destination. _Your father, the king,_ Haruka repeated once again before the doors opened. "It is not easy to have a king father," he told her leaving the lift before her. Juri looked at his back surprised by his sudden statement. Her intention was not to hurt him but she simply wanted him to know that she had something different in her mind.

By the time Juri reached Haruka the door was already opening. The king motioned them to walk inside but he did not say a word. Haruka waited for the young woman to walk in first after which he followed her and closed the door. The warmth of the apartment was more than welcomed as her feet were growing cold. Juri gave Haruka her coat and took off her boots. The apartment does not have more than two rooms and a kitchen but it is cozy and spacious. The two vampires walked inside the living room and sat on a red sofa with white pillows. Juri looked around the room and was impressed by how clean and welcoming it really is. "Was it really necessary to come here?" she asked a little bit bothered to face his father. After Rido did what he did Juri cannot trust his family anymore.

"I am sorry about Rido," his father said and walked inside with three cups of warm coffee and a photo album under his armpit. He put a cup on front of each of them and sat on a chair in front of Juri. The girl reached the cup with both palms and got it to her lips. "It will not happen again," he told her as the girl did not reply to that. Juri looked at the man for a second but she was far from impressed and she was not going to believe that. Yuusei understood and put the photo album on the table. He pushed it closer to Juri so the girl put the cup back on the table and took it with both hands. "Open the album to the first page," his father told her pointing at the album with his chin.

Juri traveled her hand over the brown cover before opening to the first page. Her eyes fell upon a picture of a man and a woman standing next to each other. The man was holding the woman from behind her shoulders. Her curly long hair was falling nicely around her elbows. Now that they are sitting right next to each other Juri finally knows where she has seen the man before. Yuusei and her mother have the same face shape and the same hair color. Her heart started hurting at the sudden realization that that man standing in front of her might be more than just the king. "Cousins?" she asked without looking at Yuusei.

"Siblings," he corrected her. "Your mother and I had a relationship for a while but she is not Haruka's or Rido's mother."

Juri turned to another page. The next picture was of her mother and a small Haruka on her lap. "This is why you so simply accused me of resembling my mother," she said understanding.

"I did not accuse you," Haruka tried to justify himself.

"For me it felt like that." She does not like to be told that she resembles her mother. That woman was never there for her and she does not want to be the same. Haruka nodded and kept silent. He rested his elbows over his knees and looked down. "You two were siblings but still had a relationship?" she asked trembling.

"It is not unheard of for purebloods to have relationships with their brothers or sisters," he explained to her.

"What happened to Haruka's mother?" she asked curious.

"Is it really important?" he asked but the stare Juri gave was a good answer. "His mother… she was killed by a hunter," the memory is still throbbing his heart.

"Rido changed after that…he became what he is now…" Haruka continued without looking at Juri. He cannot remember his mother very well as he was 3 when she died but he can still remember shouts coming from his brother. Rido told his father that he should be angry and get revenge but his father refused. He was inside his room when he heard them fighting and although he cannot remember more than just that he knows his father suffered even when he was much older. He never forgot about their mother but everyone else in his family wept a lot.

Juri wanted to ask why but she did not want to cause anymore suffering. If she knew she wouldn't have asked about her in the first place. "This cannot be what you were hiding," she told Haruka.

Yuusei started feeling bad for his son. He is aware that his son is struggling just the way he once did and he knows just how painful that is. He told Haruka not to fall in love with her but it was probably too late by then. Yuusei had no idea his son met Juri until he sent him a letter that she will be living with him inside the woods. He could not believe his eyes so he had to see her as soon as possible. That was the first time he ever saw her: a frightened child but a strong woman who dared to get angry on him. "My sister got pregnant and married your father. They were seeing each other for a while by then so for them it seemed the right moment. What she did not tell me was that the child was mine and not his."

Juri had a feeling that the story was going that way but she hopped it wouldn't. They just kissed each other and touched each other; they did things which siblings should not do. Bangs covered her eyes when she tilted her head to face her brother. "This is worse than anything I could've thought of," she told him. Haruka remained in the same position. He knew this will shock her. It is only natural after hearing such news. "Where is the bathroom?" she asked and Yuusei pointed to the hallway.

Juri got up and slowly walked to the bathroom. When she turned left she could see Haruka from the corner of her eye: he was still there, looking at his feet. He seems hurt but he will not look at her or tell her a word. She is worried about him and she would give up herself for him but this is about her and not Haruka and she should not worry about him but about herself. Juri closed the door behind her and sat on the toilet seat.

They told her so many unbelievable things that she has no idea what to start thinking about. "I am such a fraud…" she whispered to herself. Nothing she knew about herself or about her family was true. _Are you disgusted of yourself?_ Juri nodded ashamed. She is ashamed that all this time she knew nothing about her background and that she did not listen to her mother when she told her to respect the man who raised her. Her father is not her real father but he took great care of her. He tried to hide Juri from her real father and he gave her everything she wanted but in the end she just walked away.

"Does he know?" Of course he knows she is not his real daughter but that did not stop him from raising her. _He treated you like you were an object._ "That is…not true." He hid her from the king and offered her the life her mother wanted her to have but could not give her. She was even allowed to study with humans and go to the school of her liking. Her father gave her so much and yet here she is: in the hands of the man he was keeping her away from. She has to apologize to him and tell him just as much she loves him.

As for Haruka: he is her brother, he knew it, but that did not stop him from wanting her as his lover. He saw his father and his sister doing intimate things so for him everything might be normal but for Juri everything is too shocking.

"Was he hurt?" she started asking herself remembering Haruka lost his mother. Anyone would be angry if their father moved on to another woman and forgetting the woman they were married to. He was hiding his face and he seemed awfully tormented by thoughts he did not share with her. The aura around Haruka was not exactly anger but much rather shame that he hid everything from her. Juri shook her head trying to get that idea out of her mind. Who cares if Haruka is hurt? What about her? She is also hurt!

Juri got up and walked to the sink, resting her hands over its edge and looking in it. She never thought she would find out something like that. "I shouldn't have asked," she whispered. Nothing could've prepared her for such news. "I shouldn't have insisted on knowing," she whispered again. The whisper could be barely heard even by Juri but it was enough to make her tremble at hearing her own words. She was wrong for getting angry on Haruka for hiding things from her. Only now she can be angry on him for what he hid from her. Juri should have treasured the moment with him because they might not get back to what they had. She cannot go to him now and kiss him or hug him even if that is the only thing she needs to get over this. Haruka is her brother and she must stay away from him before she ends up like her mother.

Juri washed her face with icy cold water before staring at her pitiful reflection. Her family is the reason for all her misery, she thought a little bit amused. She has two families and both of them are destroying her with their secrets and plans for her. Juri looked at the girl who was reflected in the mirror; she cannot recognize herself: eyes dark and face emotionless. Although so many things bother her none of them are reflected on her small face. Juri turned to put the towel back where she has taken it from but her eyes caught the shape of the window. Juri stared at it mesmerized by the crazy idea surfacing in her mind. She released the towel, leaving it on the floor, and reached the small square window. There are times when listening to your feelings is the best one can do.

The young vampire opened the window and stepped inside the bathtub. The cold wind from outside made her shiver and it felt like it was pushing her away from the window. Juri released her hair from the ponytail and dropped the black rubber band inside the tub before reaching the window frame and climbing over it. She used her legs to climb over the frame and through the small place and she unintentionally bumped over the bottles of shampoo and soap. Juri rested her palms over the grained wall and tried to push herself outside the window with all her power. She gritted her teeth to keep the moans inside as she pushed her rear and legs through the window, falling with her head down to the frozen street. Juri effortlessly turned in the air and landed on her tiptoes in the snow. She looked up at the window to check if someone noticed she was trying to leave. "Forgive me, Haruka…" she whispered before she walked away, bare foot, to her home…to her father.

* * *

By the time Juri reached her home her socks and hair were wet and cold as it started snowing again. Juri pushed the massive main gate aside and slowly walked to the house. It has been around a year since the last time she walked in that garden. She used to pick up flowers and sneak inside animals which her father did not approve of and always threw back outside but she kept on doing it anyway. She smiled to herself remembering the nice times she had when she was little but which she forgot because she wanted something she could not have. Why is it always like that? People who have great lives do not know how to appreciate it because they are blindly pursuing a life of misery and failure.

Juri closed the massive wooden door behind her and looked up and down the hallway. The house is deadly quiet but it is warm and welcoming. Juri never noticed how welcoming her house really is and she even missed to notice how safe she felt there.

"Juri…sama…" her nanny whispered upon seeing her sight. Juri motioned her to keep quiet and the woman covered her mouth with both hands and nodded.

Juri smiled at the woman but anyone seeing Juri would say that she remained with a cold, emotionless face even when she thought she was smiling. The girl walked to the living room leaving a wet trail of footprints. Her heart is beating fast as she is approaching her father. Juri stared at the wooden door thinking that once she gets inside she might not come out but she still walked inside. She looked around before closing the door behind her. Her father, Hitomi, was sitting at the head of the table, reading a newspaper with an empty plate in front of him. Juri stared at her father in silence then looked at the burning fire behind him. She would give anything to be in front of the fireplace and warm up.

Her father ignored her presence so Juri walked to him with small steps as if approaching a wild animal. She sat on her knees at his right side but right on front of the fireplace. "Do you think I am bad blood?" she asked her father. He kept on ignoring her but the aura around him is peaceful. "Please look at me…father…" The man tilted his head to look at his daughter. His eyes are cold and unforgiving. "I never meant to look ungrateful…" she said, a tear leaving her eye. "I never wanted to make you regret taking me in!" Juri reached her father's hand. She cupped it with both hands.

"Aiko could not bear looking at you so she kept herself busy, away from home. She never wanted you to know the truth," he told her.

"Why taking me in when you knew what I am… Don't you find me…disgusting?" she does not dare to look at her father. After all she did he still allows her to walk inside the house as if nothing happened. "A sister and…a…a brother…" she spew those words out as if they were pure poison.

"This is quite common although you hear this for the first time," her father assured her. Juri raised her head and looked at her father from behind her bangs.

"But I am not yours…" she insisted devastated by the harsh reality.

"Does not matter," he told her. Juri slowly got up and leaned on her father's lap. She started crying when she felt the warmth of a man she never hugged but whom she always wanted to touch. He never allowed her to get too close to him no matter how much she struggled to reach him. She sat on his lap and closed her arms behind his shoulders. Everything feels like a dream she constantly saw when she was little. "After so many years of living all alone, a child seemed a great idea." Juri shut close her eyes and started crying out loud.

"Do you really…" He nodded. "But you were mean…" she sobbed

"I had to be mean. I felt like I had to be harsher on you as your adoptive father." He started caressing her hair. He regrets keeping her away from him but he feared Juri will push him away when finding the truth. There is nothing more painful for him than thinking about Juri rejecting him for not being her real father. He watched her grow up fearing that she will burn him just like the sun does. His biggest regret is that she is not his blood so he would not lose her.

"I love my brother," she admitted to her father. "What do I do?" He has to live history again. A sister and a brother crossing, hand in hand, the border of sin. "Forgive me for this weakness…For the shame I am bringing you…"


	17. Final Chapter

Haruka knew the moment he saw Juri going to the bathroom that she will either come a changed woman or she will never come back home. He and his father were speaking about how to convince Juri that they do not want to hurt her when they realized that she was no longer in the apartment. Haruka and his father broke down the bathroom door, knowing very well that the young vampire was no longer in that bathroom. As soon as they understood that she left through the open window they knew she could only be in one place: her home. They wasted no time and drove to her house, aware that Hitomi will be there. Yuusei was thirsty for a confrontation with the man who not only took his lover but his child as well. For Yuusei, family is the most important thing worth living for and having another man take something which belongs to him is beyond annoying. Yuusei nearly broke down his house when he learned that Juri is his daughter and she might never know who her real father is.

The two men entered inside the house, ignoring the guards who were ready to fight them but wouldn't dare touch them, and followed Juri's smell to find her. Each of them opened a door and walked inside the living room. The doors shut close behind them provoking a small earthquake. The first thing Haruka saw was his sister sitting on her father's lap, face covered with tears and lips trembling. His heart started to hurt seeing her like that; she looks so small and fragile in his father's lap. Haruka knows that Juri has no idea how to take what Yuusei told her and she is searching for the right answer but he fears that the right answer for her is getting away from him. He knows that either he lies or he tells the truth, he risks losing her.

"It has been a while, Hitomi," said the Kuran king approaching the two. Haruka walked behind his father without saying a word. He knows this is his father's fight, although he wants to take Juri and get away from there. He does not want to get Juri mixed in this situation because she might never get over this.

"Not long enough," Hitomi admitted. "Sit, I will ask for some wine," he motioned them to choose their seats as the table had many empty chairs. "Red or white wine?"

"Red wine," answered the king.

Juri looked at Haruka from the corner of her eye, face covered with bangs and cheeks washed by tears. She worries about him and she wants to hold his hand but she already did that once and now she is in this situation because of that. His pain is reflected in his brown eyes and this makes everything so difficult for her. Of course she still loves him and she still wants him but knowing everything she does, she cannot just jump to his neck and kiss him. She just cannot get away from the hands that truly protect her.

The two men walked inside and sat at the table, each of them on different sides. The king eyed his daughter in the hands of the man he despises and wishes to kill. Why was he rejected by both daughter and mother? People say he is kind and understanding but he somehow managed to lose his family although he never did anything to the two women. Only his Haruka remained by his side after he lost his wife. He eyed his son, noticing the pain reflected in his eyes and remembering the nights he lost his wife and sister.

A maid came inside with four glasses and a bottle of wine. She opened it and filled the glasses before giving them to everyone and bowing. Juri did not even look at her glass but her father grabbed his glass and leaned back in his chair. The maid bowed and left, closing the door behind her, happy to have left the room alive. The mood is heavy having the former king angry, inside the room.

"What parent scares his child like this?" Hitomi mocked before tasting his drink. The king did not answer but he also reached his glass and smelled the content. He is angry for being told something so painfully true by the man he hates. "Just like you scared Aiko." The king gritted his teeth and hit the table with his free palm. He eyed the impertinent vampire who dares to make a fool out of him.

"I am glad you are always there to catch the women who run away from me. But I don't see you any happier than I am."

Hitomi smiled and put his glass down. "Aiko never learned her lesson. She kept on going back to you, didn't she?" Juri flinched hearing her father say that. She did not think that her mother would reject her but accept her biological father.

"I am here because my daughter is here." He fixed Juri. This time Juri finally moved and looked at her biological father. She can tell that he is hurt for being rejected by her but she does not want to sacrifice herself again for another person. She gave everything for Haruka and she nearly lost something which is far more precious than that.

"Your daughter is not here, only mine is living here." At this statement the king's eyes turned red and he was about to get up to grab Juri. He will not leave without his daughter tonight. He will take her by force if that is what he has to do. "Did you raise her?" Hitomi asked and Yuusei flinched. "Did you make sure she is safe?" he continued and the man leaned in his chair. "Did you even pick up her name?"

Juri shook her head feeling bad for having her other father hurt like that. She does not want to watch these two men kill each other because one stupid woman and her daughter. "I do not want any fights…" she whispered.

"Juri…" Haruka barely whispered hearing her loud and clear. He could not say a word since he got there but he wants Juri back and he wants to erase their connection if this means having her forever. Haruka is more than happy and proud to have her as his sister but that is killing her and he does not want to see her hurt anymore. He had some conflicted feelings in the beginning as well but his love for her was far more stronger than his reason.

"You wanted her to die! You call yourself her father when you could not even make sure she feeds properly," Yuusei growled.

"That is not true…" she whispered again.

"Juri is free to live the way she wants. You could never respect other people's wishes," Hitomi replied, ignoring his daughter. His gripped got tighter around her when he felt like he could lose her.

Juri whispered again for them to stop but this time not even Haruka could hear her as he felt the need to back up his father. "Unwillingly, Juri chose us. I think it is clear where her heart is," Haruka said.

The two guests got up, ready to attack and snatch Juri away. "Stop it!" Juri shouted, releasing more tears. She cannot hear them argue anymore. "All of you lied to me! All of you tried to use me at some point!" Juri broke free from her father's grip and took some steps back from the table. Her socks and hair are still wet and feel unpleasant on her skin. She looked at the three men, all ready to start a fight just to have her. Nobody really understands her and they try to get her as if she is some trophy. "You lied to me about being my father," she said looking at her father. "You tried to get revenge on the man who raised me," she said to Haruka. "And Yuusei-sama wanted to steal me from my home to prove everyone you can get me back," she did not look at the man, as she was ashamed and it felt strange to call him by his name. Somewhere deep within her heart, Juri admits that he is her father. She thought about something like that when she saw him for the first time but she laughed it off. "I just…I…" Juri grabbed her hair and looked at her feet, squeezing it hard. "I want my…" She wants her mother, the woman who never acknowledged her although she sometimes seemed proud of her. Her mother could not stand her but she kept on loving her brother. Why? Why would she not accept her?

"I think that things are fine the way they are…" Juri wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. She promised Isaya to be strong when she left his house. "I am fine with the father that I have."

Yuusei took her words as a refusal to accept his existence and their blood connection. "There are times when children should not make any decisions," he harshly told her.

Juri looked at him with big eyes. Not understanding her is something which runs in the Kuran family, she sadly concluded. "Parents are something we do no choose," Haruka said, looking at his father. "All her life she had Hitomi-san as her father so of course she cannot reject him now. Is this right, Juri?" Juri wildly nodded, happy that at leasts someone understands her. "She does not reject us but she needs time to get used to this idea."

"Please go…." She begged them, wishing to be left to properly think about everything.

* * *

Eventually, the king agreed that she is in a very difficult position and that she should think carefully about everything before she decides anything. Haruka did not find the strength to walk outside and leave her with her father. He kept on looking at her with hopeful that she will decide to go home with him and live a happy life together. He knows he gave her nothing but sadness and bad memories but he is willing to change.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I am." She nodded without looking at him. There is no need to rush. They have all the time in the world. "Haruka, give me your phone number. I will call you when I have an answer."

"I don't own a cell phone. But I can buy one and…"

"It's fine," She cut him off. "I will send you a letter. I promise."

"Juri…" He reached her cheeks with both hands. Their eyes met; both of them look miserable and both of them want to remain together. "Will you be fine?" he asked hoping to make her feel weak and ask him to remain with her. She nodded without any signs of weakness. "I worry about you…about us…" he said losing hope.

"Haruka…no matter what I decide I want you to know that I love you…there is no way back from that," she told him touching his hands. "I don't think my love will die."

"But there are chances…"

"You've lied to me after all."

"No… I just…" He looked down as if the words he was searching for were waving him to pick them up. "I didn't know how to tell you. You were a child."

"Haruka, I still am a child," she said pointing out the obvious. Nobody is letting her grow and they all want her like she is some object.

Juri looked in the direction of Haruka's car. Nobody is rushing them to part and they wait for them to say everything they want to say. Yuusei left for the car before Haruka and Hitomi made use of the opportunity to be dropped in the city and followed the king to the car. Yuusei glared at the man but could not stop him from getting inside the car. Juri licked her bottom lip before getting ready to tell Haruka to go as well.

"I cannot live without you…" he whispered, preventing her from speaking. His hands left her face and he pulled her in a strong, painful and sad hug.

Juri fears his words but she knows he will be fine. "I'm sorry," she apologized although she does not feel sorry at all. Actually, Juri feels nothing about what just happened. They told her many things but her father will always be Hitomi and Haruka could never be her brother. That was all she could tell him before she gently pushed him away from him. Haruka tried to keep his grip around her back but her cold and detached attitude was strong enough to make him lose confidence.

"Don't do this…" he begged.

"What do you want me to do, Haruka?" She asked annoyed. She feels nothing but she has to think about everything and she needs to speak with her mother. Haruka remained quiet and looked at her not having the strength to walk away. Juri sensed his hesitation so she took the initiative to walk away. She walked to the stairs without looking back and with fast movements.

"Don't get near Isaya," he said. "Juri!"

Juri stopped on the stairs and looked at Haruka over her shoulder. "That is for me to decide."

Haruka closed his eyes and sighed exhausted. "At least don't kill anymore."

"I will not."

* * *

 _Four nights later_

When Isaya came to visit, Juri was hidden inside her room with the curtains covering her window and white shits over the mirrors inside her room. Her room was not locked and Juri instructed him to enter when he knocked. Isaya came because he was worried but upon seeing Juri he got even more worried: her hair is a mess, strands of hair covering some of her face and wearing nothing but a plain white summer dress, Juri looks like a ghost more than a living being. Isaya left the flowers he brought on the dressing table, which is covered with a white sheet, and walked to the center of the room, where Juri is standing on her knees, dress raised over her thighs although it is long enough to covered her legs while standing up. He kneed next to her and rested his hand over her shoulder. "Juri…?" he gently called her name hoping she would look at him but Juri closed her eyes to his disappointment. "What happened?" he tried again to get her attention.

Juri remained in silence for a while, thinking if she should tell Isaya the truth or not. She is disgusted to admit that she was born out of incest and that she also got intimate with her brother; if we count what Rido did to her she got intimate with both brothers. "I promised to get stronger but whenever I get over my weaknesses, Haruka brings to light another one," she tried to joke, smiling life a fool. The whole situation is fucked up and she got fucked by that bastard since the first night they met. Haruka maybe did not know about her identity then but he certainly knew by the time he started touching her, kissing her. "You knew my father has the whole world in his hand but he cannot freely fight?" she asked Isaya opening her brown eyes. "You knew my father also fought although he did not have the whole world in his hands?" she asked again, this time looking at him.

Isaya looked puzzled at the girl but soon he understood what she was talking about. He pities the girl for having to struggle so much to stay at the surface when everything is pulling her down. "They told you," he said and sat on his rear next to her.

Juri smiled and looked down. "Is the whole world knowing the truth?" Maybe it was obvious to those who were open-minded while she, foolish and young, could not even guess. She felt attraction for her brother because the blood was calling her but now, she loves him enough to step the border of sin. Isaya touched her shoulder, brushing away some strands of hair. "Don't worry. I am fine," she told him with a small smile on her face.

"Nobody knows your identity but everyone guessed you might be Yuusei-sama's child." _Everyone except Yuusei,_ he thought amused.

Juri nodded understanding very well what he meant. Everyone knew they might be siblings but only Juri had no idea what she was getting into. "Can you take me somewhere?" she asked the man.

"Where do you want to go?"

Juri up and walked to the curtain covering the window. Her legs are numb from sitting for so long on her knees but she feels powerful despite her state. She pulled aside the curtain and looked outside the window. The moon is making the snow glow like silver. "To the church," she told Isaya looking at him over her shoulder. Isaya raised an eyebrow, surprised by her sudden change of mood. Maybe it is because of the light from outside but Juri looks shiny and beautiful, like when he met her for the first time. "Can you take me there?" she asked and Isaya nodded. "Thank you."

Juri went to her closet and grabbed a muffler, a beanie hat and a pair of gloves. "The church I want to go is really close," she said putting the muffler around her neck. "You do not need to wait for me there," she told him.

"But why a church?" he asked seeing her somehow happy.

Juri stopped moving and looked to the window. "It is peaceful there," she said. Nobody bothered her since she came home but everyone was moving in front of her door, speaking about her and speculating what she did when she was away. They do not know her pain but they speak like they know her well enough to speak about things they do not even understand. Those people do not know that she has changed, that she has killed innocent people and that she can still do it if she wants to. "I promised Haruka I will not kill another human…"

"Juri…" Isaya grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her to his chest. "You can always have my blood," he told her.

"I will be fine," she promised. "Thank you for being a good friend."

Juri went to Isaya's car without a coat or shoes. He insisted she dresses better but she did not feel the need to cover herself better. She feels warm and putting a coat on her will only make her feel hot. They did not speak much after they got in the car and Isaya really wanted to hear what business she has at the church but she would not talk. The trip was quite short and they got there faster than he wanted. Juri leaned and kissed his cheek before getting out of his car. Isaya stated that the kiss was warm enough to melt ice. Juri waved him good bye and crossed the street to the small church. She always walked past that church but she never felt the need to enter. Once, she feared she will become shards of glass if she would enter in God's house but later she learned that nothing will harm her. In reality, God is welcoming with all creatures and showing them the right way is his duty. This is why she came here tonight: only God can show her the right way right now and she needs all the help she can get. Juri pushed the door aside and walked inside the church; her heart feels at peace. The lights are off inside the church and only some candles are guiding Juri inside the church. Most of the paint from the walls faded but this does not make the place look any less beautiful. Juri looked up and down the walls and admired the painted glass as she slowly walked to the confessional.

The young vampire sat in the confessional and took off her muffler, beanie hat and gloves. She felt the presence of the priest, waiting patiently for her to tell him her sins. Juri put her things on her lap and swallowed harshly. She never spoke with another person, a human, about her problems, sins or worries. She always struggled by herself, having other people cause her more pain or worries.

"What worries you, my child?" asked the priest to give the girl courage to confess.

Juri parted her lips for a few seconds then closed them back. She will not speak with God but with a human being who cannot possibly understand her existence or troubles. Juri took a deep breath. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." Juri clasped her fingers over the lap and licked her lips. "It felt right father… I thought…" Juri feels her cheeks getting wet. She cannot find the right words to confess her heavy sin. "I fell in love father."

"That is not a sin my child. It is natural to love what is close us," the priest said on a kind voice.

Juri closed her eyes and rested her head over the wall. Her worries are heavy and they pain her to the extent she cannot bear looking at herself. She covered all the mirrors in her room so she would not have to look at her miserable, pitiful, beyond ugly existence. She is the fruit of sin… She can accept to some extend her love for her half-brother but she cannot accept that her parents are siblings who crossed the border she cannot cross just because she loves Haruka. "He is my brother father… I did not know my father is not my real father…" Juri bit her lower lip to keep her sobs inside. Nothing pains her more than having her father hurt when she did not intent to.

The priest kept quiet and that killed Juri. She has no idea what she wants the man to tell her but one thing is certain: she wants the forgiveness she cannot have. "God forgives the sins we committed without us knowing," the man finally said after carefully choosing the words. He can tell the girl is disturbed and he has to calm her down in a way or another.

His words came like the approval she has been waiting for. She knows what the priest meant but she can interpret his words the way she likes. _God is forgiving,_ she proudly thought as she put the muffler around her neck. _But I am not God's creature_. She wanted forgiveness from someone outside her family or society. "Father, does God love all creatures?"

"Of course he does. No matter the shape we are all God's creation," nodded the priest proud of the god he is serving.

"It sounds so nice," Juri whispered not quite believing what the priest just told her. God might not have abandoned her if she hadn't killed those people. She cannot be a hypocrite and ask for forgiveness since she had to feed when she killed. Juri used to be a hypocrite but not anymore. From this point on she will accept what she is – her blood, her family – and move proudly towards the future. She wishes she were God's creature but she is the opposite of humans and this proves she was made by another divine power.

"Thank you father," she said and walked out of the confessional without hearing what the priest wanted to tell her. He most likely wanted Juri to know that loving her brother is unacceptable but he just helped her accept and nothing else matters anymore.

When she walked outside the church she stopped in front of the stairs and looked across the street, at a man with brown hair and garnet eyes. He was there every night, hoping she will change her mind and have her back. Juri knew he was there, she could feel his presence but she decided she will not go there until she has the right answer.

She climbed down the stairs and walked with fast movements to her half-brother, to her lover. Upon seeing her running towards him, Haruka took some steps further and opened his arms to catch his sister. Juri jumped at his neck, strongly clasping her hands around him. "I love you," she whispered at him ear.

"Thank you…" he said relieved.

 _Finish_


End file.
